Vent about my family...I don't know what to do (UPDATE)
So here it goes. I tried talking about this with FH as much as humanly possible but he's a man and he doesn't exactly understand all my feelings about this. He wants to help me and he's about to sit my parents down and have a conversation with them himself...
My parents were sooooo thrilled when Steve asked them for permission to propose to me (that's what he told me). They were also practically in tears when I called to tell them that he popped the question. But ever since then all they have been doing is complaining about the money for the wedding (because they are paying for a lot of it...which i'm thankful for, don't get me wrong). Also, my mom has been really negative and it's been hurting my feelings like crazy. When I confronted her, her only response was 'You aren't gonna make me feel guilty because i'm not.' I'm their only girl and the last to marry so I thought this would be a special time for them but all I feel like lately is a burden on them and I don't know how to talk to them again without them shooting me down.
My mom also said when I went to try on dresses that I wasn't skinny enough yet. So that hurt. Then she's been going on and on and on about how she doesn't want to do an engagement party because it's a burden on people. I'm not even bringing up the fact that I want one and she goes and says this out of the blue...no joke! And she keeps saying it over and over! I could care less if I have one or not! It's just hurtful because again, it's like i'm a burden now that i'm engaged. But if this was my older brother getting re-married (he just started dating a girl seriously after getting divorced 3 years ago) my parents would be throwing money left and right and be overjoyed. For my brother's weddings (I have 2 brothers), they made a HUGE 3 day affair out of it and I feel like they could care less about my day. They don't even want a real rehearsal dinner cuz it would be 'too much' with the wedding the next day. I tried talking to my dad about my mom and he said my mom is driving him crazy too and he thinks its because she's unhappy with herself. I just don't know how to approach them about this. I hate feeling this way because I always thought me and my mom especially were so close but now that's not the case and this is suppossed to be the happiest time of my life...and it's not feeling like that lately. She's also been coming down on me a lot about making sure my house is clean, getting chores done, losing weight (and i've lost 20 lbs and she's lost like none!), and how I spend my money.
Any advice ladies? Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.
UPDATE:
Thanks everyone for all of your advice. You gave me a lot of good ideas to think about. If it comes down to it, I am going to confront her again and have a heart to heart talk with her. I'm thinking of having my dad there too if I do it.
So last night, I was going to call her and talk to her about all this but I decided to call my sister in law instead. My sister in law really really really helped me out. She made me smile and feel soooooooo much better. She was saying how her and my brother noticed the same thing about my mom...this being that my mom is unhappy with herself lately (her weight and her knee bothering her to the point where she can't walk well). And she doesn't mean to take it out on me. It's just i'm the one that lives the closest to her lol and is the closest to her. She said how my mom was telling EVERYONE how overjoyed she is that Steve and I got engaged and that she is so excited for the wedding! My sister in law told me to give it sometime. That when the wedding gets closer she thinks my mom will start showing me more that she does care and she will be there for me in a positive way. She said her parents did the same thing...they are acting all business like right now but when it comes down to it they are there for me and they are happy. So that's what i've decided, i'm gonna give it some time and concentrate on the positive. Again, thank you everyone for your advice!
My parents were sooooo thrilled when Steve asked them for permission to propose to me (that's what he told me). They were also practically in tears when I called to tell them that he popped the question. But ever since then all they have been doing is complaining about the money for the wedding (because they are paying for a lot of it...which i'm thankful for, don't get me wrong). Also, my mom has been really negative and it's been hurting my feelings like crazy. When I confronted her, her only response was 'You aren't gonna make me feel guilty because i'm not.' I'm their only girl and the last to marry so I thought this would be a special time for them but all I feel like lately is a burden on them and I don't know how to talk to them again without them shooting me down.
My mom also said when I went to try on dresses that I wasn't skinny enough yet. So that hurt. Then she's been going on and on and on about how she doesn't want to do an engagement party because it's a burden on people. I'm not even bringing up the fact that I want one and she goes and says this out of the blue...no joke! And she keeps saying it over and over! I could care less if I have one or not! It's just hurtful because again, it's like i'm a burden now that i'm engaged. But if this was my older brother getting re-married (he just started dating a girl seriously after getting divorced 3 years ago) my parents would be throwing money left and right and be overjoyed. For my brother's weddings (I have 2 brothers), they made a HUGE 3 day affair out of it and I feel like they could care less about my day. They don't even want a real rehearsal dinner cuz it would be 'too much' with the wedding the next day. I tried talking to my dad about my mom and he said my mom is driving him crazy too and he thinks its because she's unhappy with herself. I just don't know how to approach them about this. I hate feeling this way because I always thought me and my mom especially were so close but now that's not the case and this is suppossed to be the happiest time of my life...and it's not feeling like that lately. She's also been coming down on me a lot about making sure my house is clean, getting chores done, losing weight (and i've lost 20 lbs and she's lost like none!), and how I spend my money.
Any advice ladies? Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.
UPDATE:
Thanks everyone for all of your advice. You gave me a lot of good ideas to think about. If it comes down to it, I am going to confront her again and have a heart to heart talk with her. I'm thinking of having my dad there too if I do it.
So last night, I was going to call her and talk to her about all this but I decided to call my sister in law instead. My sister in law really really really helped me out. She made me smile and feel soooooooo much better. She was saying how her and my brother noticed the same thing about my mom...this being that my mom is unhappy with herself lately (her weight and her knee bothering her to the point where she can't walk well). And she doesn't mean to take it out on me. It's just i'm the one that lives the closest to her lol and is the closest to her. She said how my mom was telling EVERYONE how overjoyed she is that Steve and I got engaged and that she is so excited for the wedding! My sister in law told me to give it sometime. That when the wedding gets closer she thinks my mom will start showing me more that she does care and she will be there for me in a positive way. She said her parents did the same thing...they are acting all business like right now but when it comes down to it they are there for me and they are happy. So that's what i've decided, i'm gonna give it some time and concentrate on the positive. Again, thank you everyone for your advice!
