So I am so angry and annoyed. Throughout the entire wedding planning process I have felt like although my mom comes and does things, she is just not excited or she thinks I am doing things too early yada yada...
Well today we were talking and I said something to her about a rehearsal dinner (minus th rehearsal) and she said 'What?! Why are you going to do that its not necessary at all.' And I calmly replied, 'because we want to get together with everyone to give them their presents and just be excited the night before.' 'Well, its a lot of money and its not necessary' So I said 'Well, a lot of people do things for weddings that you don't think are necessary but we can still do them'
Then she chimes in with 'Do you hear yourself? We WANT one..' (implying i am being a bridezilla...which I know I am not!) I couldnt believe it. I eventually ended the conversation. Am I wrong in these? Aren;t we allowed to want to do things like this?! I wish I had a mom who is excited. My sister (MOH) could care less especially now that she is getting married for the 2nd time. Argh.
Ok Vent over! thanks for readin!
ace730
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
You are not being a Bridezilla! A RD is nice and if you want one and have the means to pay for it, then I say go for it. It is your wedding!
LegoBride
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
You are absolutely NOT a bridezilla. To be perfectly honest I think you are one of the calmest brides on here. You have done everything at a steady pace without rushing anything. I feel terrible your mom is acting this way. I have the opposite problem - my mom thinks its her wedding - yikes! I know this is a very hard thing to be going through but what if you didn't involve her as much. It looks like you and Brad have everything under control on your own. I truly feel you are going to have one of the sweetest ceremonies and an awesome wedding. I hope your mom starts to realize that as well
Mrs B to Be
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
Oh Lauren I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Have you tried telling her that her comments make you feel like your being selfish and you just want everything to be nice? It's certainly never to early for anyone it, as long as you dont think you'll change your mind. Maybe try rephrasing that that dinner is to THANK everyone who has contributed their time, energy, and money into helping you with your wedding?
I'm sorry I cant be of more help, sometimes people just dont understand that b/c they didnt do things that way means everyone else doesnt have to follow that same pattern. Maybe try leaving her out of the planning for a bit and see if she misses it? A little reverse psych???
to you!
Brooke1983
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
Awww, I feel for you hun, my mom is very similar. All the time she keeps saying, you should have done a destination wedding, it would have saved so much money..I am like well it's my wedding and that isn't what I wanted so get over it. Mom's are a pain sometimes!! But it's your day, do what you want!
VickiR510
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
Absolutely Not you aretotally right! You want every experience possible. The rehearsal dinner is a time to be fun & silly & givethanks to everyone. I say do it!
Maybe if you want be a little informal instead of a dinner at a restuarant why dontyou have teh BP over with parents & order in food or cook. Maybe she will like that idea better??? although ultimately its up to you. Its your wedding. If yu dont mind me asking are you paying? If yes then its all up to you guys! Ithink you both deserve whatever you want!
NickandTara426
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
I'm sorry that you are going through this! you are not being a bridezilla by any means. You want to stick with tradition and I don't see anything wrong with that. It will all work out!
Im a Pepper
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
Aww hun I'm so sorry! It must be hard to go through this without the support and excitement from your mom! You are NOT being a bridezilla by wanting to have a dinner beforehand with your closest family and BP. That's totally rational and it's very standard! Sorry you're going through this with your mom!
little34
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
I understand your frustration but we just got some bad news about my mom....she is losing her fight with cancer and my mom won't make it to my wedding....so although your mom is frustrating you and not being as supportive as she can be, be thankful that she is there to argue with you....LOL..... maybe just talk to her about how you feel....I know weddings then were alot different from weddings today so maybe that is why she is being resistant.
Just wanted to throw out a different perspective....don't take your moms for granted even when they are p*ssing you off...LOL
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
Posted by little34
I understand your frustration but we just got some bad news about my mom....she is losing her fight with cancer and my mom won't make it to my wedding....so although your mom is frustrating you and not being as supportive as she can be, be thankful that she is there to argue with you....LOL..... maybe just talk to her about how you feel....I know weddings then were alot different from weddings today so maybe that is why she is being resistant.
Just wanted to throw out a different perspective....don't take your moms for granted even when they are p*ssing you off...LOL
Im so sorry about your mom...I know I am very lucky to have my mom, thats not an issue at all..my thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom!
little34
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
Oh I know...I didn't mean to come off like be thankful for your mom because you are not being that way...I just meant try not to let it get to you....moms can be nutty!!! LOL
And thanks!
Aristotelina
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
Im sorry that your mom is being this way Lauren. Have you spoken to her about how she is acting? And not for anything, but its YOUR wedding and if you WANT something, you are absolutely entitled to it!!!!
Cacarina
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
I totally understand where you are coming from. My mom is actually pretty supportive most of the time, but sometimes I feel like she is just going through the motions. Whenever we go on vendor appts, she's always saying, 'Well this is my third child to get married, so we've been there, done that!' Ughh, it kind of annoys me, but I have to appreciate all that she has done for me while planning so far. My sister, however, is another story. She couldn't care less. She also is always thinking its too early to do things. She is my MOH and she has not done one thing with me for my wedding. She barely even talks to me about it.
I guess no one is going to be as excited as us for OUR wedding. However, I agree with you...if you want a rehearsal dinner, you should have a rehearsal dinner. Who is anyone to tell you that you shouldn't?? I am also getting married at CLM and we probably won't have a rehearsal either, but I want a rehearsal dinner for the same reason. I want to give gifts, thank everyone for coming, thank our parents, and also get together with out of towners, etc. Maybe you should talk to your mom about how she is making you feel. It is not right. She should be excited for you, not making you upset.
flairforfashion
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
Sorry you are going through this! Sometimes Parents can be annoying and don't understand the things that go on today with weddings. I think you are FAR from a bridezilla. You are so calm and raitional and I have never seen you post a vent before! I say do what you want. It is your wedding. If you want a RD then so be it.
donnasmom
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
Oh, my!!! Well, Debi didn't have a rehearsal, but she did have a RD, which I thought was a great idea because:
It gave us a chance to get to know everyone, especially the Fred's family, and the Pastor and his Wife
It was a relaxing time before the hectic wedding day
It gave Debi and Fred an opportunity to walk through the ceremony, and talk about what everyone had to do.
It gave Debi and Fred an opportunity to give out the BP gifts, and OOT Sandbuckets.
Mary MOB
ELluvsMB
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
My mom is the exact same way every time I mention anything she tells me it's so much money even though I've totally done my homework on everything and I know it isn't. She hasnt really done anything for the wedding except come with me to try on dresses. I wish she would be more excited. She tells me she's so stressed with my sister she just doesn't have the time. My sister & MOH is having a really tough time in her marraige and being unemployed and her baby and I toally understand it's difficult but anything wedding related to either of them is totally non-existant. They have no idea how much work I'm putting into this. When I told my mom I was looking for a photog she looked through a magazine (from my sisters wedding 4 years ago!!) and gave my a few phone numbers to call. Really not helpful mom! So I totally 100000% know how you feel. We're not even bothering with a rehearsal dinner because for us it would be another added expense and it's just not worth the trouble. We might do something tiny like a BBQ or something but we won't be renting out a hall by any means. Good luck and hang in there you are not alone!!
stephlovesseyi
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
Your not alone Lauren. My mom has been this way for the majority of our engagement, and at times it has really hurt my feelings. Its getting better but it has hurt that my mom is not one of those movie MOB. She is who she is... Your mom loves you, and in the end its you and Brads wedding.
Do WHATEVER you want!!!!!!! Hugs to you sweetie! I understand your fustration!!
Future Mulligan
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
i kind of understand - my mom isnt here - she is in florida - so she isnt here for anything and she hasnt even seen my dress - i think that it hurts both of us....what does annoy me is that she tells me how stressed out she is about traveling to NY for the wedding and reminds me that its expensive for her and my dad - but she is preaching to the choir - does she not think that im not stressed out b/c FH and I are spending thousands and thousands of dollars without any help - its not like she is contributing - and she should be excited about it not venting to me about the stress of it all - i mean understand that its a lot for them but i dont like feeling bad about getting married because its going to cost them money - it really irritates me, its like they dont realize that a lot of peoples parents help or pay for the whole thing - they are getting off easy
kbond06
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
I totally understand...I have my g-parents and my dad thinking a wedding costs 5,000. LOL...so when I tell them I WANT something, it is always like, 'Well do you need that?' Yes I need a limo, dad I'm not walking. Things have changed and it's hard for them to understand...
allegracristina
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Re: VENT- Unsupportive Mom.
You are SO not a bridezilla! A RD couldn't be more common at today's weddings. I feel your pain though. Not in the same way, but my mom has been BEYOND unsupportive. It can be so hurtful. All I want is a mom who seems HAPPY that I'm getting married, and not freaking burdened! Good luck with everything :) xoxoxoxo
