Okay I am home and ready to spill. As most of you are aware of the fighting and everything from the other day, PF (past fiance) agreed to get the apartment b/c he wanted to stay together and knew that moving in and proving he is mature enough to take care of is was one of the conditions of us staying together. We also discussed things, about the threating, no more of that, and things that bothered me and things like that but most importantly no more throwing in my face that he has to pay for everything and I don't pay for anything an how useless I am.
Well since he agreed which was only on thursday night, friday came along and instead of wanting to see me since we haven't seen each other in a week, he wanted to hang out with his friends, well I told him how messed up that is and to make a long story short he did come over b/c I started *****ing about the maturity thing again and to basically shut me up he gave in but the point that the first place he would want to be the day we made up wasn't here was screwed up.
Okay so since then we have gotten along, the whole 1 1/2. Welll today we went to the city to see the car show at the javitts center, it was going good for a while until he started *****ing about the money thing again which in then started to **** me off so I told him to drop it before it turns into a fight. Yeah right, he started with the threats again about if you don't give up all this stupid **** for the wedding then we aren't getting an apartment, or if you don't help with the apartment money then forget it. So I told him like always he agreed to get the apartment to shut me up and make up the other day but had know plans on sticking to it, like he always does.
Then the famous words, well if this isn't gonna work then give me my ring back. Now he knew I only had a few dollars on me so he said I owe him the money for my train ticket and the admission into the show and the taxi. Then he said I hope your few dollars gets you home on the train. He had our r/t tickets but was being spiteful and wouldn't give me mine. So I had to push the stroller, the baby, my pocket book, the diaper bag and the bag of stuff from the car show done track 19 by myself in penn station b/c he walked away, so we sat seperatly not even in the same car on the way home and I had called his mother to make sure she was babysitting tomorrow and she asked where dan was and I said I don't know, so of course she was like your in a fight again. She met us at the train station and he sat there and called me things and said to give him his ring back now and I refused b/c he owes me a couple thousand dollars on my cc.
Well he went in his mothers car and she took him to my house to get his car and he followed me to my door yelling at me to give him the ring, so I slammed the door in his face and he punched my car to get my car alarm to go off.
I had such a headache and this was making things worse so the baby fell asleep and I was going to take a nap and I hear his car, he came back with his mother in his car ringing my door bell calling my phone so I answered it and he said he has his checkbook, he will write a check for the amount he owes me and he wants his ring. We fought back and forth I told him I don't trust him, he will probaly bounce the check cause he would only lose $28 and then I would be out all the money, so then he threatened to call the cops so I said the number is 911 and hung up on him and shut off my phones. After ringing the doorbell a few more times he left.
His mother knows what a a55hole he is and usually takes my side, well I don't know what he said but she was completely on his side about this which isn't like her. We will see if she actually babysits tomorrow.
There is no going back now, he really just sealed the coffin. I just don't know what to do, I know I am so much better off but where do I go from here.
I am so sorry this is so long, but I feel better that I just got this whole story off my chest, even if I typed it and didn't speak.
jennbaby
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Re: Wedding is Off! Very Long!!
and when the time comes, i have alot of guy friends
WithThisRing
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Babble all you want on here, we are all here for you.
Dont worry about Mr. Right. When you least expect it he'll show up. Right now concentrate on you and Kayla.
JuneBabyBride
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I feel so bad for her, she doesn't deserve a father like this. I just hope she doesn't resent me one day when she understands the type of father he is.
WithThisRing
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She wont resent you. You are a very good mommy and she'll have nothing but love for you.
Dont worry, be happy. Happy you dont have to deal with him, happy that you have a wonderful daughter and happy that you have so many wonderful opportunities that lie ahead of you. You have a wonderful future for you and it doesnt involve him.
butterfly20
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Re: Wedding is Off! Very Long!!
im sorry for all that your going through. But if he was the one to break it up, then i dont think he can ask for the ring back. Also if it were me, I wouldnt bring kayla to his moms tomorow. If your going to have a custody battle with kayla, I wouldnt want to give her up to anyone in his family
Marcela1654
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I'm so sorry Meredith But the girls are right, you are so much better w/out him and have you whole life ahead of you. You deserve soooo much better than this. It's hard now, but in a few months you'll think back and cringe everytim eyou think about him. This happened to me. I went out with a total ASS wipe for 6 years and every now and then when I think about him, I cringe. I cannot believe that I went out w/him for so long and put up with all his sh*t
As for Kayla resenting you, trust me SHE WON'T. When my parents seperated when I was about 8, I was miserable. However, thru the years I have come to realize that it was the best thing they could've done. Not only for themselves, but for me also. Who wants to grow up with parents that aren't happy and constantly fighting
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
shamma
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Meredith, what about Heather, she is a positive influence in your life, get out of your home, do something, do not stay in the negative environment 24/7. Do not go back to your ex either just to have someone to get away from other things. That will be desparate and he will treat you the way he treated you before. Breaking up is always hard to do. Meredith you are not the first to have her heart broken and you will not be the last, others have survived and you will too, it is not the end of the world.
butterfly20
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well look on the bright side... isnt he the one who is going to be stuck canceling all the vendors?
JuneBabyBride
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I wish I didn't have to rely on his mother but I do, she watches kayla so I can work on mondays, if she doesn't I have nobody else and I only work 3 days as is and can barely pay my bills, If I don't work mondays I will probably get fired and then what would I do. I feel everything is going wrong, not just him.
desyre
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Marcela1654
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Do you have a child support order? Now that the wedding is off and he will no longer be paying for the wedding things, he MUST pay child support. If you think that he won't, I would go to the Family Court by you and get an Child Support Order.
shamma
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That which does not kill you will make you stronger. Vent all you want, we will listen. Meredith at this time it might just sound like words to you but it will all work out. If you have to use his mom go ahead do what you have to do. I am sure he is not going to hold Kayla for ransom, after all he does not want the responsibilty
JuneBabyBride
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Before we got back together he was pretty good about paying c/s, he know's fridays is the day to pay so all he has is one shot if he doesn't pay this one, straight to court I will go.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Kayla is going to thank you one day, for making a difficult decision to make her world a better place. What you did today takes alot of courage, and as someone who is a single mom, I give you alot of credit for making the decision that you did today. And as for being alone, you will NEVER be alone as long as you have that beautiful daughter of yours. You will grow to see that NO man can give you the love, pride and happiness that Kayla can. Take time for YOU. Take a deep breath. It will all work out. In the mean time, you have something that your ex never will, and that is being able to wake up every morning and seeing the face of your incredible daughter.
Please FM me if you need to talk. I was were you are.
Marcela1654
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Ok good.
lulu
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I'm so sorry that you are going through this now, but after reading all of your posts about your relationship, you are better off with out him. My younger sister was in a similar position a while ago. She is 23, single, and has a 2 1/2 year old daughter. The two of them live at home with me and my parents. The baby's father has never been in the picture at all except for child support. She was dating someone for a while, who treated her like crap, but was afraid to leave him because she didn't want to be alone. Recently, with alot of persuading from the people who love her, she decide it was not a healthy reationship and left him. For a long time my sister worried about how she would ever meet someone, who would love her and her child. She decided after a while that she was not going to dwell on this. She began doing things to improve her own life, she is taking classes now to become a sonogram technician, she takes the baby to the park, library.... everyday. She realizes that he first and formost priority right now is caring for her daughter which in turn means caring for herself. She is much happier now that she is 'alone' than when she was in an unhealthy relationship. It did take her sometime to come to this realization though.
I'm not sure that this helped you in anyway, but I just wanted to let you know that things will ge better and you made the right decision for yourself and your daughter.
JuneBabyBride
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I know this is the best thing for kayla and myself and I will appreciate my desicions more once the hurt and pain go away. You girls are great, I don't think I have ever gotten so much support in my life.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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This is a great site! We're all here for you.
endlessluv429
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I'm so sorry you are going though this...my heart breaks for you-but you will SURVIVE! You should be nothing but proud of yourself for walking away, ONCE & FOR ALL! You and your beautiful daughter are sooo much better off without him! I will never get over the fact that he left you to walk all that way in Manhatten with that baby today---that to me is just the lowest a man can go.....if he has a problem with you -fine--but to bring that innocent baby in the middle is just WRONG--my prayers are with you & put your head on the pillow tonight knowing you did the right thing and that this is the beginning of a new time of your life--PEACE & happiness-you will be fine!!
swags1016
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Meredith,
I am soooo sorry that you are going through this
All I can say is that you did what is best for you and Kayla and I know you are scared now but I am sure in a couple of months you will look back on this and be thankful!!!!