Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Original post by WithThisRing

Jun 03, 2003 09:23 PM

FI spoke to his mom tonight and we were going over the guest list for the e-party which is in august and who wasnt invited to this but will be to the wedding (out of staters, etc...)

so FI told his mom that we do not want kids at the wedding. His mom flipped. She yelled at him that he has to invite his 2 small cousins who are 4 and 5. (they'll be 5 and 6 next year) He tried to explain to her why we dont want kids (these 2 are demons on earth and will be the only kids at the wedding. Their are no small children) she said I dont care they have to be there. He said 'fine they'll be invited but I am telling you now those kids better be on their best behavior or their will be a problem' his mom said fine they will be spoken too.

He the tells her we have the seating chart in order. Well some of it. His mom said that his aunt has to sit with her 5 kids (at the time of the wedding they will be 17, 15, 13, 6, 5). FI said no all my cousins will be at one table and all the adults will be at one table (we have it figured out and it works out perfect). She said no kerri, doug and the 5 kids will sit together.

Please tell me I am not the only one who has these issues?? What issues did you ladies have when planning your wedding????

butterfly20 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:03 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

that is a very good idea.. no children under 18,
when i was under 18 i know i didnt need to go to any weddings...
I'm also doing no children under 18(except the 3 cousins that live literally 5 minutes away from him and see very often).. I cut out quite a few kids by doing that

Jen2704 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:09 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Yep I have a big family.... 247 on the guest list....on my end I actually just counted 41 kids under 18....I was trying to count in my head before so I just looked on my list...on his end I am not actually sure. After a while the guest list just gets out of control and my head was starting to spin...I am guessing around 180 will come!!

Bacardi527 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:13 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Im not inviting any kids under 18 except the ones that are in the wedding party and very close ones- my fmil is already making demands and my mushy FH is yessing her to death- I told him that is not a good thing because I am going to do what I want and if he keeps telling her yes- then im going to be the bad guy because I have NO PROBLEM with doing that- I say good luck to all you ladies

butterfly20 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:13 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

I saved about 25 kids(under 18 but too old for child rate).. Im only inviting 125 people total..

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:14 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

FI has been capping me. We have to guarantee 120. I keep saying 150 - 175 and he says oh now no more then 130.

He's really good with the guest list. He told me if we havent seen or spoken to people in one year or more, then they are not invited.

what would I do with out him

butterfly20 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:22 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

thats a good idea of his..
some of the people on our list we havent seen spoken to in over a year, but our parents have(and there giving enough money) so we dont mind inviting them)

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:32 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Maybe you can help me with this logic:

We have annemarie, her husband george, their daughter katie, anne marie's sister, her husband and anne maries mother and her husband who all speak to his aunts and they all grew up together, and FI even went on vacation with them. Anne Marie lives around the corner from us. People I have met before and have been to different family affairs with. His mom said no we dont have to invite them to the wedding.

Now Charlie who is his mom's husband we have to invite Charlies mother and Charlies sister. I met charlies mother 2 times and never met his sister. FI never met the sister either.

So help me with this logic, why do we have to invite charlies sister and mother but not annemarie and her family????

aliciahelene Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:35 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Tell your fiance's mom that unless she wants to pay for those people, she really has no say in who is invited! I went through the sam ething, we are on a budget and all of s sudden my fiance's mom is coming up with relatives I never even knew existed! My fiance could care less if they come, so we just had to tell my future mother in law, we are keeping it small, no children, etc. Its so wierd isnt it how everyone wants a say in your wedding, but yet they arent paying for a thing?

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:40 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

normally I would agree, but she is paying the last hall payment. So I cant really argue with her.

aliciahelene Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:46 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

oops! Sorry about that!

Jen2704 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:48 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Nope I would invite annemarie and the family also since she is paying the last installment...I mean it is your wedding also!!!!!!!!! Charlie and the family doesn't make sense but since she is paying for them ask them also.

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:52 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

alicia its ok. no harm.

I got so aggrivated about the whole guest list thing, I told FI we should just hire a magician, a clown who does balloon animals, and maybe a fire eater.

butterfly20 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 12:53 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

she wont know who she is paying for..plus shes not paying for all the hall payments right??I would say if you are close to annemarie & family(invite them, arent you inviting your friends to your wedding? plus they even took him on vacation.. that seems just like family to me!)...

now his mother is saying to invite his step grandmother and step aunt? I guess seeing charlies mother 2x you should invite her out of respect(for good peace and seat her with Charlie)... charlies sister personally I would be iffy with her if i never met her(i probably would skip over the aunt)... But since your FMIL is paying towards the reception... and Manor East is an affordable place I would say probably not to worry about it and just invite her(maybe she wont show up anyways...) If your FMIL starts adding a bunch of people that neither of you care to invite.. then i would speak up!

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 04, 2003 01:04 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

very true

I think I am going to make a deal with Brian he deals with his mom and guests and I'll deal with my mom and guests (my mom's list is so much easier. she wants 40 people and its a mix of family and friends that I like) and with this deal he can deal with the stress of his mom.

This is going to be a fun 472 more days till the big day

NovemberSue Posted: Jun 04, 2003 06:46 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

I think you are better off not saying anything about who is coming or not coming and where anyone is sitting.If someone asks you just say you don't know yet and change the subject.

jenny2penny Posted: Jun 04, 2003 06:58 AM

.

wacky Posted: Jun 04, 2003 07:24 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

happy planning, if you dont want kids you dont want kids. Tell her no shell get over it.

eroxgirl Posted: Jun 04, 2003 07:39 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Where can I get one of those cages?? I might need one for my wedding!! I don't have guest list problems just yet - every time I look at my list, I take off another one of my mom's friends - what problem? I'm going to start doing that to FH's moms list too. By the time I get married, my friends and family are going to think that the post office is just a vast wasteland of missing invitations that never get there!

Becky Posted: Jun 04, 2003 07:45 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Alias, I feel your pain! Keith has been terrible. AFTER I sent out the invites he looked at the list again and started telling me who I forgot. I FORGOT???? These were people I didn't know! I flipped out and told him that he has to be responsible for his half of the list.

They are all out so I can sleep at night again.

But getting a list and addresses out of him was a nightmare. Thank goodness for his mother!

regina2 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 09:35 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

I have that same problem... my father wants me to invite three cousins and an aunt who I havent seen in years (would probably pass them on the street), but says I shouldn't invite my sister-in-law's aunt who I spend all major holidays with plus niece and nephews birthdays. Doesn't make much sense...

Why invite people I havent seen in years and not invite someone who I actually spend time with AND WHO KNOWS ME!