Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Original post by WithThisRing

Jun 03, 2003 09:23 PM

FI spoke to his mom tonight and we were going over the guest list for the e-party which is in august and who wasnt invited to this but will be to the wedding (out of staters, etc...)

so FI told his mom that we do not want kids at the wedding. His mom flipped. She yelled at him that he has to invite his 2 small cousins who are 4 and 5. (they'll be 5 and 6 next year) He tried to explain to her why we dont want kids (these 2 are demons on earth and will be the only kids at the wedding. Their are no small children) she said I dont care they have to be there. He said 'fine they'll be invited but I am telling you now those kids better be on their best behavior or their will be a problem' his mom said fine they will be spoken too.

He the tells her we have the seating chart in order. Well some of it. His mom said that his aunt has to sit with her 5 kids (at the time of the wedding they will be 17, 15, 13, 6, 5). FI said no all my cousins will be at one table and all the adults will be at one table (we have it figured out and it works out perfect). She said no kerri, doug and the 5 kids will sit together.

Please tell me I am not the only one who has these issues?? What issues did you ladies have when planning your wedding????

alina Posted: Jun 04, 2003 09:40 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Chippa, I would ask your aunt with the 5 kids whether or not she wants them to sit with her or not. I have a feeling, she would want to enjoy herself and not worry about the two little montsters. I do agree that they shouldn't be at the wedding period if you don't want them or they should behave.

Also, with regard to dealing with FMIL, leave most of it to FH (with your guidance of course, but have him tell 'No' to her). And explain that you would like to have the people who are dear to you and FH, not necessarily dear to FH's mom.

Thrilled Posted: Jun 04, 2003 09:43 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Ha - got you all beat. My wedding is in 3 months, the invitations need to go out in the next 3 weeks and we are missing about 10-12 addresses on FH's side. His response? 'Plenty of time. Tonight is not a good night.' for him to call around and get them. God love him, he is being passive agressive because he is freaking out. The wedding is in 94 days!

Jan60504 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 10:16 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

I've given up asking for a guest list from FMIL. If you've read any of my posts about inviting the kids you already know why! Us not inviting the kids has caused H E L L around here! Mind you there are a billion little kids we would have to invite AND our ceremony starts at 7:00pm and our reception (in a historical townhouse - not exactly the place for 32 little kids running around) from 8:00pm-1:00am. Would you bring your kids to that?! Anyway, it has caused so much trouble - as has almost everything else - that FI and I have stopped discussing the wedding details with her. FI made up his own guest list of the people he wants and that's what we're going to stick with. Of course I don't have his addresses yet though. It must be a man thing! But, I still have some time thank goodness.

nylisa Posted: Jun 04, 2003 10:21 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Melissa, I am getting the same thing from FMIL. Michael and I do not want any children at our wedding either but my FMIL insisted that her nieces (Michael's first cousins) come. They will be 7 and 9 next year but I did not want them there. The 7 year old is very attached to my FMIL so I know that she will be all over her the day of the wedding and the 9 year old is just a brat. She will be running all over the place. My mom told me that she is going to bring rope the day of the wedding and if these children are not good and staying in their seats, then she is going to tie them to their chairs. She will than tell their parents that each of those families have to leave.

Also, my FMIL does not want anything to do with organizing the seating arrangements for her family friends because she does not want to hear anyone complain about their seats. So guess what, we have to do it.

There was also the problem with the dress that I had picked out for the BMs. My FMIL did not like it for her granddaughter. She did not like the color, the style and that I went without her granddaughter. I do not even want to go into this whole thing because it will take to long.

But as you can see, I am having problems too and I have 15 months until the wedding.

Nav023 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 10:31 AM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

I see I'm not alone. I just booked the hall two days ago and my dad is talking about who he wants to invite and starts mentioning names of business acquaintances who I DON'T KNOW!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

butterfly20 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 01:45 PM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

My niece is going to be 2 1/2 years old for my wedding, and she is going to be the flower girl..I planned to have her at the wedding 7pm-midnight..
My mother tells my sister that 'gwen is not going to the reception' .... is it wrong for me to want the flower girl to stay for the reception? I told my sister that I'll even bring a sleeping bag if she wants for her to stay

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 04, 2003 03:28 PM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

when in doubt blame the post office

AlisonMT Posted: Jun 04, 2003 04:22 PM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Haven't read the whole thread but I feel for you, Chip, and everyone else going through these ridiculous issues. My problem was that my Dad had an 'A' list of 150 people (including many I didn't know!) and decided to make a deal with our reception hall to guarantee 200 people because he was so sure all those people AND the ones we invited as friends or FH's family would come. All told, we invited close to 290 people. With 20% attrition, we figured somewhere in the neighborhood of 225-230 people would show. Not so! Now with 31 days out (AAGHHH!!) and an RSVP date of May 31, we still have close to 40 people who have yet to reply...and only 170 who say they ARE coming. This is NOT looking good.

alina Posted: Jun 04, 2003 04:30 PM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Alisson, we were in your shoes about a week ago, with 100 guarantee and 70 attending. After some phonecalls, now we're up to the 90's which is perfect, b/c after adding vendors, we'll be at 100!!!

AlisonMT Posted: Jun 04, 2003 04:33 PM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

That's true...we'll probably add in our vendors.

So you're getting married the day before me, huh? Are you ready?? I'm so not!!

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 04, 2003 04:33 PM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

I am going to beat people with a stick if they dont rsvp by the date. either that or I'll send FI after them.

New unwritten law, do not stress the bride or you wont be invited.

AlisonMT Posted: Jun 04, 2003 04:34 PM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Chip, can you send your FI after MY Non-RSVPs too??

edited to say: or we can just sing 'The Pearl Song' to them ad nauseum...that'd make ANYONE respond!

alina Posted: Jun 04, 2003 04:35 PM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

Chippa, nice law... when does it go into effect?

Alisson, I am ok, we're still 'making CD's' and need to do seating. But otherwise I think we're in decent shape. I just want to be on my honeymoon by now!!!

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 04, 2003 04:37 PM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

alison: ROFLMFAO!!!!

OMG!!! that could definatly work

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 04, 2003 04:38 PM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

alina: it goes into affect starting now...

stress the bride, no invite

michele31 Posted: Jun 04, 2003 04:51 PM

Re: Wedding is over a year away and already having guest list issues

My advise is this: keep your mouth shut. That's right. Do not ask, nor give information about your wedding or the seating or the guest list. DO not invite kids to the e-party so that way no one will think they are invited to the wedding. Make the age cut off and stick to it. If you make one excemption you have to make lots of them, plus it is unfair to others. Again, don't ask/don't tell/keep mouth shut is the best way to plan any wedding.