Wedding money

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Posted by Mimacat

I figure maybe we'll get back the price of the hall.

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Thats what FH and I think as well. And since thats most of the cost..that's fine with us! It's going right in the bank lol

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

this is a huge fight between FH and i... he wants the big extravagant thing and i like small and simple.. but anyway.. he insists that we will make back EVERYTHING... i say.. CR@P!!! my family does not give large gifts nor do that follow the 'pay for your plate' theory so i knwo we will not make it back from my family and im ok with that.. but we shall see.. if we get anything im happy!!

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Can i just say i hate the 'pay for your plate' theory! Who goes around telling people what they are spending!? I actually had someone ask me what we are spending so they know what to give as a gift!!! I didn't know what to say!

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Posted by GinaZ

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

this is a huge fight between FH and i... he wants the big extravagant thing and i like small and simple.. but anyway.. he insists that we will make back EVERYTHING... i say.. CR@P!!! my family does not give large gifts nor do that follow the 'pay for your plate' theory so i knwo we will not make it back from my family and im ok with that.. but we shall see.. if we get anything im happy!!

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Can i just say i hate the 'pay for your plate' theory! Who goes around telling people what they are spending!? I actually had someone ask me what we are spending so they know what to give as a gift!!! I didn't know what to say!

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YOU DON'T ask the couple straight out, some people have asked us and unless im EXTREMELY close to you please dont ask me. This is in regards to my guests, if a girl needs info and searching for halls thats different.

Basically what happens is you either try to find out through word of mouth, or you can figure around the range it is in. Some people even call up the Rh and find out ahead of time which is crazy lol.

I haven't really given this much thought. I don't want to get a number in my head and be disappointed if we don't get there. His family is from out of state, and tend to give gifts as opposed to money, which is fine.

It's more important to me that they all come from out of state to be there with us than the gift they give.

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

I haven't really given this much thought. I don't want to get a number in my head and be disappointed if we don't get there. His family is from out of state, and tend to give gifts as opposed to money, which is fine.

It's more important to me that they all come from out of state to be there with us than the gift they give.

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yea, calling the RH to find out is a little crazy and no one has asked me
i think most people give the same amount to either friends, family etc
i know for myself, if we go as a couple and its a friend, i give $300 - regardless of month, RH, etc

family i would give more -

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by GinaZ

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

this is a huge fight between FH and i... he wants the big extravagant thing and i like small and simple.. but anyway.. he insists that we will make back EVERYTHING... i say.. CR@P!!! my family does not give large gifts nor do that follow the 'pay for your plate' theory so i knwo we will not make it back from my family and im ok with that.. but we shall see.. if we get anything im happy!!

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Can i just say i hate the 'pay for your plate' theory! Who goes around telling people what they are spending!? I actually had someone ask me what we are spending so they know what to give as a gift!!! I didn't know what to say!

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YOU DON'T ask the couple straight out, some people have asked us and unless im EXTREMELY close to you please dont ask me. This is in regards to my guests, if a girl needs info and searching for halls thats different.

Basically what happens is you either try to find out through word of mouth, or you can figure around the range it is in. Some people even call up the Rh and find out ahead of time which is crazy lol.

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Calling the hall!? That is crazy. i dont think its anyones business- unless like you said its someone who is looking for themselves and could use the info. I think people should just give what they think is appropriate and what they can afford. I have friends who i know could not afford to give what we are paying for them to be there and thats perfectly okay- I invited them cus I want them to be there to celebrate with me- not to pay for themselves to be there.

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Posted by GinaZ

My family does not give money with the exception of my grandpa. They usually bring a gift to the reception. FH said we will get money from his family and no gifts. but I have no idea what they give as gifts. i know if my family and my parents friends usually sped about $30-$100 depending on who it is and what state they are from.

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This depends on a couple things, first how close you are to them and not that i sit there and say i want to cover exact costs of my plate, but i just try to at least know i covered, just makes me feel better. Theres other things you have to figure out sometimes too, recently we went to a wedding and the couple didn't have an e-party but we did, so we took that into account and said they had to give us something for the e-party and the wedding so we have to make it up in the wedding envelope. Also they were close friends of FH so we also gave extra just for that. I knew the range of what it cost them per plate but didnt take that into account, we put in more just for the reasons stated above.

If we're not that close to them then we do what i said, cover your plate at least.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by GinaZ

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

this is a huge fight between FH and i... he wants the big extravagant thing and i like small and simple.. but anyway.. he insists that we will make back EVERYTHING... i say.. CR@P!!! my family does not give large gifts nor do that follow the 'pay for your plate' theory so i knwo we will not make it back from my family and im ok with that.. but we shall see.. if we get anything im happy!!

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Can i just say i hate the 'pay for your plate' theory! Who goes around telling people what they are spending!? I actually had someone ask me what we are spending so they know what to give as a gift!!! I didn't know what to say!

---

YOU DON'T ask the couple straight out, some people have asked us and unless im EXTREMELY close to you please dont ask me. This is in regards to my guests, if a girl needs info and searching for halls thats different.

Basically what happens is you either try to find out through word of mouth, or you can figure around the range it is in. Some people even call up the Rh and find out ahead of time which is crazy lol.

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I don't think it's a hard and fast rule. I remember a few years ago was the first wedding I was going to with FH. I asked someone what to give as a gift and he said you approximately want to cover the plate. Not that you are paying for your plate but expect to give about $100 a person attending. If you can not afford that than you give what you can and if you are close with the person you can give more. It's jsut to estimate your gift.

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Posted by GinaZ

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by GinaZ

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

this is a huge fight between FH and i... he wants the big extravagant thing and i like small and simple.. but anyway.. he insists that we will make back EVERYTHING... i say.. CR@P!!! my family does not give large gifts nor do that follow the 'pay for your plate' theory so i knwo we will not make it back from my family and im ok with that.. but we shall see.. if we get anything im happy!!

---

Can i just say i hate the 'pay for your plate' theory! Who goes around telling people what they are spending!? I actually had someone ask me what we are spending so they know what to give as a gift!!! I didn't know what to say!

---

YOU DON'T ask the couple straight out, some people have asked us and unless im EXTREMELY close to you please dont ask me. This is in regards to my guests, if a girl needs info and searching for halls thats different.

Basically what happens is you either try to find out through word of mouth, or you can figure around the range it is in. Some people even call up the Rh and find out ahead of time which is crazy lol.

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Calling the hall!? That is crazy. i dont think its anyones business- unless like you said its someone who is looking for themselves and could use the info. I think people should just give what they think is appropriate and what they can afford. I have friends who i know could not afford to give what we are paying for them to be there and thats perfectly okay- I invited them cus I want them to be there to celebrate with me- not to pay for themselves to be there.

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yeah the banquet managers were telling me they get calls like this the day of the wedding and say Oh were going to so and so wedding there today, can you tell me how much they paid?

Now that im planning a wedding, i know prices of places alot better so it helps but my rule is give about $200 each or maybe $150 each...if were close to them then we add extra

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Posted by Espo22

yeah the banquet managers were telling me they get calls like this the day of the wedding and say Oh were going to so and so wedding there today, can you tell me how much they paid?

Now that im planning a wedding, i know prices of places alot better so it helps but my rule is give about $200 each or maybe $150 each...if were close to them then we add extra

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How would the banquet managers answer?

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by GinaZ

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

this is a huge fight between FH and i... he wants the big extravagant thing and i like small and simple.. but anyway.. he insists that we will make back EVERYTHING... i say.. CR@P!!! my family does not give large gifts nor do that follow the 'pay for your plate' theory so i knwo we will not make it back from my family and im ok with that.. but we shall see.. if we get anything im happy!!

---

Can i just say i hate the 'pay for your plate' theory! Who goes around telling people what they are spending!? I actually had someone ask me what we are spending so they know what to give as a gift!!! I didn't know what to say!

---

YOU DON'T ask the couple straight out, some people have asked us and unless im EXTREMELY close to you please dont ask me. This is in regards to my guests, if a girl needs info and searching for halls thats different.

Basically what happens is you either try to find out through word of mouth, or you can figure around the range it is in. Some people even call up the Rh and find out ahead of time which is crazy lol.

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I don't think it's a hard and fast rule. I remember a few years ago was the first wedding I was going to with FH. I asked someone what to give as a gift and he said you approximately want to cover the plate. Not that you are paying for your plate but expect to give about $100 a person attending. If you can not afford that than you give what you can and if you are close with the person you can give more. It's jsut to estimate your gift.

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i know exactly not that you are paying for your plate and thats the intention of the money but you know the couple is paying alot of money for a wedding and want to at least cover the cost of them having you there

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by Espo22

yeah the banquet managers were telling me they get calls like this the day of the wedding and say Oh were going to so and so wedding there today, can you tell me how much they paid?

Now that im planning a wedding, i know prices of places alot better so it helps but my rule is give about $200 each or maybe $150 each...if were close to them then we add extra

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How would the banquet managers answer?

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they dont answer it

I know that we will not make back what we spent, however, both families are very generous!!!! We didn't go into this thinking that we were going to make money, we went into it thinking of how we wanted to celebrate our day and that is where we are now (spending far more than I ever thought I would)!

I agree with Amanda. i don't want to think, 'oh, we'll make 20k' and then not make that and be disappointed. Although, with our e-party, we were SHOCKED with how generous people were and made more money then we could have imagined.

All in all, having everyone that you love and care about there is what really matters. We don't expect anything from anyone except for them to show up.

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Posted by florezpeeps

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

it's hard to say....but i don't think it matters. i am trying to look at it that FH and i are spending the rest of our lives together, and we are paying for our entire family to be there to celebrate, and giving them a party for being there for us and being in our lives.

a wedding shouldn't be a money maker. don't get me wrong, i am VERY excited about the gifts we'll get but i'm sure they are not going to cover the cost of the wedding and i'm just happy we're getting some of the money back at all.

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I am pretty sure every single girl getting married is doing so because of their LOVE, I don't think you are any different in that sense~this thread (I think) is looking at another prespective, since finances ultimately do have a lot to do with our day to day lives, especially kicking off right after a wedding, its where we'll all be & it's going to matter~

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i realize every girl is getting married b/c of love. i didn't mean to offend anyone. apologies for not giving the response this thread was looking for.

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

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Posted by florezpeeps

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

it's hard to say....but i don't think it matters. i am trying to look at it that FH and i are spending the rest of our lives together, and we are paying for our entire family to be there to celebrate, and giving them a party for being there for us and being in our lives.

a wedding shouldn't be a money maker. don't get me wrong, i am VERY excited about the gifts we'll get but i'm sure they are not going to cover the cost of the wedding and i'm just happy we're getting some of the money back at all.

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I am pretty sure every single girl getting married is doing so because of their LOVE, I don't think you are any different in that sense~this thread (I think) is looking at another prespective, since finances ultimately do have a lot to do with our day to day lives, especially kicking off right after a wedding, its where we'll all be & it's going to matter~

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i realize every girl is getting married b/c of love. i didn't mean to offend anyone. apologies for not giving the response this thread was looking for.

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No need to apologize. You are absolutely correct!

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by GinaZ

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

this is a huge fight between FH and i... he wants the big extravagant thing and i like small and simple.. but anyway.. he insists that we will make back EVERYTHING... i say.. CR@P!!! my family does not give large gifts nor do that follow the 'pay for your plate' theory so i knwo we will not make it back from my family and im ok with that.. but we shall see.. if we get anything im happy!!

---

Can i just say i hate the 'pay for your plate' theory! Who goes around telling people what they are spending!? I actually had someone ask me what we are spending so they know what to give as a gift!!! I didn't know what to say!

---

YOU DON'T ask the couple straight out, some people have asked us and unless im EXTREMELY close to you please dont ask me. This is in regards to my guests, if a girl needs info and searching for halls thats different.

Basically what happens is you either try to find out through word of mouth, or you can figure around the range it is in. Some people even call up the Rh and find out ahead of time which is crazy lol.

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yeah- i have heard of people calling the hall- haha

a family gave 'X' amount for one family members wedding, but 'XX' amount for another b/c it was obviously a more expensive wedding...strange

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Posted by MJDoc12

not that i cared--cause i really didn't i KNEW we would never make back what we spent on the wedding.....but we got less than 1/3 what we spent on the wedding.

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That's what I hear happens so I don't want to spend a lot on certain things.

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

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Posted by florezpeeps

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

it's hard to say....but i don't think it matters. i am trying to look at it that FH and i are spending the rest of our lives together, and we are paying for our entire family to be there to celebrate, and giving them a party for being there for us and being in our lives.

a wedding shouldn't be a money maker. don't get me wrong, i am VERY excited about the gifts we'll get but i'm sure they are not going to cover the cost of the wedding and i'm just happy we're getting some of the money back at all.

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I am pretty sure every single girl getting married is doing so because of their LOVE, I don't think you are any different in that sense~this thread (I think) is looking at another prespective, since finances ultimately do have a lot to do with our day to day lives, especially kicking off right after a wedding, its where we'll all be & it's going to matter~

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i realize every girl is getting married b/c of love. i didn't mean to offend anyone. apologies for not giving the response this thread was looking for.

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haha- I started the thread. NO appologies needed..LOL

I totally agree that people dont (or shouldnt) have a wedding just for $. It is a celebration of your marriage. It was just something FH and I were talking about b/c we are trying to buy a house after the wedding. Not that we will have enough in wedding gifts to put as an entire DP, but what ever we get back will go towards that. He was more thinking ok- we are spending 'X' amount on the wedding and trying to guessimate how much we might get back of it. He low balled it becaus we definitely dont want expect more and get less.

Some of my family cannot afford to 'cover their plate' or whatever you wanna call it, but I don't care if they give me a five dollar bill in a card. I just want them there.