What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

mybabylovesmoi Posted: Jan 25, 2010 10:20 AM

What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

I just asked three of my friends to be my bridesmaids. We just got caught up in the excitement and I forgot to tell them what expenses they may incur and to really think about it before they agree.

So I'd like to follow up with an email listing possible expenses but would first like everyone's opinion or what they are asking their bridesmaids to pay for.

I know traditionally they pay for their dresses. I plan to be sensitive to their budget and not get something too expensive but aside from the dresses?

I plan to offer to pay for their hair or makeup or possibly both.

How did everyone break it down??

Lsorrent Posted: Jan 25, 2010 10:22 AM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

Dress
Hair
Makeup
Shoes

The bottom three are all optional, but most are doing it. I am not paying for any of that for them. Whenever I've been a BM, I always expected to have those expenses.

AwaitingAugust Posted: Jan 25, 2010 10:24 AM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

mine are paying for the dress and shoes only ...

i found an affordable dress at david's bridal ($99), and i'm going to tell them to buy any black shoes in the style i choose (hopefully they can re-wear them)

i'm not making them get their hair & makeup done.

that's really it ... unless you count paying for things like the Shower and Bachellorette party.

You can also tell them that a gift from them is not necessary since they're already paying for a lot.

AngnShaun Posted: Jan 25, 2010 10:27 AM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

Not optional:
Dress
Shoes

Optional:
Hair
Make-Up...

I did not require them to get their hair of makeup done so its their call if they want to do it

MrsSoto Posted: Jan 25, 2010 10:29 AM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

originally i think they were going to plan my shower but personally since i was fitting the bill for the wedding along with fh, i told my mom that i didnt feel right about the girls paying for the shower so she is planning and paying instead however many bms contribute to the shower for a lot of girls.

bachelorette party if you're gonna have one.

dresses- they are paying for the dress itself and the alterations.

hair and makeup- i wouldnt make anyone to get their hair and/or makeup done professionally if they didnt want to but i knew my girls were going to pay for their hair and have it done, on their own anyway so i decided to pay for their hair and for their makeup as their gift instead of soemthing else. it was pricey but it came to only a little over what i wouldve spent on a regular gift anyway and its one less expense for them.

extras- our rh and ceremony is close to where we all live but if your rh/ceremony is far, i dont know if the girls plan on getting a hotel room for the night before or after the wedding which would mean extra $.

and then of course, they usually would attend the shower and thats a gift plus the wedding gift but i wouldnt remind them of this as this is understood (but just something for you to keep in mind)

eternitybride Posted: Jan 25, 2010 10:33 AM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

the ladies paid for

Dress
Shoes
Hair or Makeup if they wanted it

Bridal Shower and Bachelorette party

Tracey1979 Posted: Jan 25, 2010 10:40 AM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

I think these days people know what is associated with being a bridesmaid - unless you have something extraordinary (like you plan to get married out of the country and want them to come, or something like that), they should know what the deal is.

And don't commit to paying for their hair or makeup, who knows how your finances will be closer to the wedding.

allegracristina Posted: Jan 25, 2010 10:41 AM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

I bought their dresses as their main gift. They were Melissa Sweet, and on the $$ side. I wanted to do this for them, and I really didn't want anyone to drop out due to costs, etc. It was a big expense but we budgeted for it and it worked out really well. They were all amazed and super grateful.

My maid and matron of honor, and BP planned and organized my shower held at a close family friends' house. They paid for the food, drinks, decorations.

They all paid for their own hair and makeup for day of. Everyone got their hair and makeup professionally done on their own accord.

They bought their own shoes. I told them either black patent leather or gold. Both were acceptable to me. No issues there.

Both MOH lived out of state, and so did a few bm's. They all paid for their travel and hotel expenses. This also includes travel home to NY for my shower.

I think that's about it!

mybabylovesmoi Posted: Jan 25, 2010 10:49 AM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

That is a good advice - to get hair and makeup only if they want to. Duh, didn't even think of that.

And you're right, I shouldn't offer to pay for something just yet until I see where our budget is. I will probably help them with hotel expenses when the time comes.

And lol, I'm not sure if my friends are clued in at ALL about bridesmaids duties, this is their first time being one and we are all young and clueless in that department.

I myself had to google 'bridesmaids duties' after i got engaged.

AugustBridein09 Posted: Jan 25, 2010 01:06 PM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

My MOH and 1 bridesmaid (I only had 2 ppl) are sisters and my cousins so they paid for their dresses, shoes, hair, make up, my shower, my bachelorette party (a broadway show and dinner), and my toasting flutes.

I don't think this is the norm but I think that your bridesmaid should pay what they are comfortable with and if they cannot they should agree to not be in the bridal party.

LoveyDovey Posted: Jan 25, 2010 01:19 PM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

they will pay for their dresses & shoes

hair and makeup are optional

i will probably treat them to nails/pedi just before the wedding

and they will pay for bach party

FutureJOC Posted: Jan 25, 2010 02:07 PM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

I've been a BM in a bunch of weddings and each time this is what I expected to pay for:

- Dress
- Shoes
- Hair
- Makeup
- Nails
- Bach Party
- Shower (but not as far as location/food/drinks but the fun stuff such as decorations, shower games, etc).

DaniandKen2010 Posted: Jan 25, 2010 02:12 PM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

Dress
Shoes
Hair
Make-up
Shower
Bach party

jmgoncal Posted: Jan 25, 2010 02:19 PM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

Mine will pay for dresses and shoes (any silver shoe so they can wear them again). I'm giving them the option of getting hair and makeup done. My mother will pay for my shower. They will chip in for the bachelorette party as well, but so will any other girls not in the bridal party who are attending.

Soon2bMrsH Posted: Jan 25, 2010 02:26 PM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

dress
shoes
hair / make-up (i will have someone for them if they choose to haev it done. and depending on the price, i may pay for their hair)
bach party

i plan to get their DOJ and bags.

julesrbf Posted: Jan 25, 2010 02:27 PM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

They paid for everything themselves, just like I have when I have been a BM. They paid for dresses, shoes (if they needed to buy new shoes), hair/makeup and if they wanted new jewelry, they bought it.

I gave them very lovely and generous gifts to thank them for their hard work and money spent.

Honestly, this is a personal decision. I think it's great that some brides pay for a portion of their BMs' expenses. I also don't think it makes you a horrible person if you don't.

halfbaked Posted: Jan 25, 2010 02:39 PM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

The only things my BMs were asked to pay for are their dresses. The bach. party in Vegas is optional and I did not ask for them to cover me.

manda814 Posted: Jan 25, 2010 02:54 PM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

Posted by Lsorrent

Dress
Hair
Makeup
Shoes

The bottom three are all optional, but most are doing it. I am not paying for any of that for them. Whenever I've been a BM, I always expected to have those expenses.

Mine are paying for the same things. I also always expect those expenses when I've been a BM.

MLAngelo Posted: Jan 25, 2010 03:30 PM

Re: What are your bridesmaids, moh paying for?

mine paid for dresses, shoes, hair and makeup.... I didn't make them get makeup done though, they could do it themselves and hair I gave them the option of going anywhere

they also paid some money towards the shower, my mom is of the belief that mothers of the brides shouldn't throw showers because its asking for gifts, which used to be the case, though now mothers throw them. She wanted them to feel like it was their job to throw the shower so she said she would put a certain amount towards it and they should cover the rest. She actually didn't plan on taking the $$ from them though, until they didn't do ANYTHING to help her.