what do i say to this....*UPDATE*

so i got this message on my myspace account from one of my 'friends'.....i was in her wedding 3 years ago, but even before her wedding happened we had started drifting apart, and after she got married and had her 1st and now 2nd child, i could say we have seen each other ONCE, and it was at her baby shower. so this is what the message says.

HI mo...
Whats up... I guess Im writing you this because its April 7th and you told me that your wedding is in May.. So, I'm sure you sent out the Invites... And I see that you havent invited me.. OHh well, I guess we arent as close as I thought... =0/ I dont know what else to say...

i feel kinda bad that i didnt invite her, but at the same time, she has to know that we are not nearly as close as we once were. i know some of you have dealt with this situation also.
how did you deal with it...

Thanks

*UPDATE*
so apparently she did/does know about liw and wrote me a message to my myspace saying 'dont bother' with a link to this chat.
there goes that friendship

Wow..thats tough...its a tricky situation only because you were actually in her wedding..so I would of sent one just because of that..HOWEVER you havent seen her in 3yrs...so I dont see the obligation to have sent her one..gee..thats tough..

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Posted by maureen519

i didnt invite her because i havent seen or spoken to her in a long time and because my father is paying for the majority of our wedding, he invited ALOT of people, we sent out 200 invites. i do have her on my B list, but i feel like now if i send it out she will think im doing it because i feel bad.

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Can you act surprised and tell her that you did send one and you can't believe it didn't get there?? I know thats lying, but...I dunno, just a thought!

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Posted by Queensbebe

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Posted by maureen519

i didnt invite her because i havent seen or spoken to her in a long time and because my father is paying for the majority of our wedding, he invited ALOT of people, we sent out 200 invites. i do have her on my B list, but i feel like now if i send it out she will think im doing it because i feel bad.

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Can you act surprised and tell her that you did send one and you can't believe it didn't get there?? I know thats lying, but...I dunno, just a thought!

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That is a great idea!!! i would do that!

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Posted by Queensbebe

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Posted by maureen519

i didnt invite her because i havent seen or spoken to her in a long time and because my father is paying for the majority of our wedding, he invited ALOT of people, we sent out 200 invites. i do have her on my B list, but i feel like now if i send it out she will think im doing it because i feel bad.

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Can you act surprised and tell her that you did send one and you can't believe it didn't get there?? I know thats lying, but...I dunno, just a thought!

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Yea i could do that, because we did have a few people that never got the invite. i sent them out a month ago and just got one returned to me today

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Posted by maureen519

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Posted by Queensbebe

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Posted by maureen519

i didnt invite her because i havent seen or spoken to her in a long time and because my father is paying for the majority of our wedding, he invited ALOT of people, we sent out 200 invites. i do have her on my B list, but i feel like now if i send it out she will think im doing it because i feel bad.

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Can you act surprised and tell her that you did send one and you can't believe it didn't get there?? I know thats lying, but...I dunno, just a thought!

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Yea i could do that, because we did have a few people that never got the invite. i sent them out a month ago and just got one returned to me today

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You can just apologize and tell her that it has happened to a few people and you will send her out one ASAP and you are sorry she was offended!! (Hopefully she doesn't read this website tho)

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Posted by Queensbebe

Honestly, I can kinda see why she would be offended. I probably would be too. Can you tell her that you were on a budget and only invited close friends??

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That is probably what I would do. That is really tough

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Posted by maureen519

i dont even think she knows this website exists. now i feel like crap that i didnt invite her but i do see all of your points that it would have been the right thing to do.

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It's ok, you get caught up in the wedding and the costs and sometimes we lose sight of our better judgement. Just apologize, and if you do care about her, send her an invite ASAP! She obviously still cares enough about you to want to be there.

will you be talking to her after you get married??? if you're not close now you won't be closer after the wedding.

I wouldn't invite her.

Its your wedding you whatever you think its best to do..no matter what some people will get offended....some relative/parents friends/neighbors, etc, will not be invited

My rule of thumbs is ,if I haven't spoken to you for more than 2 years, then your not invited....unless your my long lost bro/sis.

Sorry I'm an '08er lurkin...

I have the same situation with my own invite list... Friends I haven't seen or spoken to in a long time...

She obviously wants to be invited (and she probably thinks you guys are still close! some people are like that.. they don't see you in 4 yrs but still call you their 'best friend' just because they knew you back when you were in first grade)... or she would've been thrilled to be off the hook and wouldn't have said anything...

If it were me, I would probably fudge too about having sent her an invite and then play it off like it probably must've gotten lost in the mail like my aunt mary's (damn that postal system!) and I was wonderin why I hadn't heard from ya! been so busy with the plannin I was gonna call ya to see why you havent' responded yada yada yada... and pray they don't see through the bullsh*t... But that's just me... I'm just a blubberin fool... lol

Or you could just tell her the truth...