What do you consider 'cheating'

I have a friend in a weird situation right now, and I was just wondering everyone's opinions.

What do you consider cheating?

Sleeping with someone?
Going on a date (even if they do nothing?)
Flirting in a bar?
Kissing someone after a few too many drinks?
Having an 'emotional' affair?

Where do you draw the line on acceptable / unacceptable.

I had a serious boyfriend in college, who was talking to girls on the internet and lying and telling them he was single (I kind of figured out it was going on and eventually made up a fake screenname on AOL and busted him) I let it slide for a bit, then realized that I considered that cheating. Later on I found out, more happened than just that, but that was enough for me.

I feel that anytime you have a connection with someone other then your spouce..it's cheating. If you confide in another that is also cheating to me.

Im harsh but I just can't stand the thought of FH talking and confiding in another woman!!! Emotional cheating is just as bad..if not worse than physical cheating.

Hmmmm
I really want to stay out of this one.

I dont know how to respond to 'emotional relationships'

I know that kissing and touching,, other than me is a big old NO

Hmmm it's hard to tell, I think it depends a lot on the circumstance. I think kissing and onward, even while drunk is considered 'cheating' to me. However, if it was a one time drunken accident I view that as hugely different from a secret hidden affair that had been going on for months.

Usually I think in terms of the physical, but I also think it's possible to have an emotional affair. Just harder to put it into words.

I dont consider flirting to be cheating. (Edit: I mean innocent stuff, not hitting on someone at a bar etc)

I think that ALL of the above are considered 'cheating'!!! Bad bad!!! If you are 'in love' you would not cheat with just the basis of respect! And to be telling people he is single?!?!? F that! No Way!!! What is he ashamed of the relationship?? Bad signs - Get Rid of Him!! He is NOT FH Material!!!

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Posted by wifetobe

I feel that anytime you have a connection with someone other then your spouce..it's cheating. If you confide in another that is also cheating to me.

Im harsh but I just can't stand the thought of FH talking and confiding in another woman!!! Emotional cheating is just as bad..if not worse than physical cheating.

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well dont we all do that? we all confide in another

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Posted by JulyBride728

all of the above I consider cheating. Anything a mate does behind your back with intentions of covering it up is considered grounds for serious mistrust...especially when it comes to him and the opposite sex.

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I agree

I say all of the above.

My Fh is very charasmatic...I know he would NEVER cheat on me. I have so much trust in him. He went to a movie before with a girl who was a friend when he was stationed in san diego. it kinda got me mad bec they went to dinner sometimes...but i realized he hates other marines who all they do is drink and sleep he wanted to go out and enjoy himself. and this girl who made friends with was there to go to dinner sometimes or a movie. BUT I got really upset once bec i said those are things we are supposed to do and it got into a big argument but he said things that made me realzie he would NEVER cheat. And I realize you can go out to dinner with the opposite sex and not have it be anything other than eating and chatting.

Now===if he was confidening with another person with serious stuff (sex, love, relationships) that he would normally tell me yes that is cheating. Emotional cheating is just as bad as having sex, kissing, or anything else.

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Posted by Kimbalina

Hmmmm
I really want to stay out of this one.

I dont know how to respond to 'emotional relationships'

I know that kissing and touching,, other than me is a big old NO

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yeah see i kinda feel the same. I mean there is a difference between confiding in somebody and then emotional as in feelings relationship. I am sure quite a few of us can say we talked to a guy about a problem, whether a friends bf, a close guy friend, his guy friends, his brother and so on. Its just venting and talking to the person and asking the opposite sex for their opinion. If i happen to be upset about something and vent to a guy friend about it and ask him for his advice then i am sorry but that is NOT cheating.

I personally think that innocent flirting is ok (a smile, a short general conversation, etc).

I think sharing your hopes and dreams with a man/woman that is NOT your SO is cheating, kissing (and everything physical that goes with that) another man/woman is cheating.

to me, an emotional affair would be more devasting than if FH had sex with another woman. To know they spent hours talking and emotionally connecting would make me sick.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Kimbalina

Hmmmm
I really want to stay out of this one.

I dont know how to respond to 'emotional relationships'

I know that kissing and touching,, other than me is a big old NO

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yeah see i kinda feel the same. I mean there is a difference between confiding in somebody and then emotional as in feelings relationship. I am sure quite a few of us can say we talked to a guy about a problem, whether a friends bf, a close guy friend, his guy friends, his brother and so on. Its just venting and talking to the person and asking the opposite sex for their opinion. If i happen to be upset about something and vent to a guy friend about it and ask him for his advice then i am sorry but that is NOT cheating.

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One of our GM's is like my best friend! I do everything with him and he is FH's good friend too. I tell this guy EVERYTHING, we spend a lot of time alone (with out my fh) or out with other friends. I Deffinatly have a strong bond with him. If FH told me I couldnt... that would be a big problem

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Posted by yelley77

I personally think that innocent flirting is ok (a smile, a short general conversation, etc).

I think sharing your hopes and dreams with a man/woman that is NOT your SO is cheating, kissing (and everything physical that goes with that) another man/woman is cheating.

to me, an emotional affair would be more devasting than if FH had sex with another woman. To know they spent hours talking and emotionally connecting would make me sick.

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i agree with you. i mean chris and i talk about some deep stuff at times that no one else knows i could never picture him telling anyone else let alone some girl. that would kill me and def make me sick

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Posted by JulyBride728

all of the above I consider cheating. Anything a mate does behind your back with intentions of covering it up is considered grounds for serious mistrust...especially when it comes to him and the opposite sex.

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I agree!

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Posted by yelley77

I personally think that innocent flirting is ok (a smile, a short general conversation, etc).

I think sharing your hopes and dreams with a man/woman that is NOT your SO is cheating, kissing (and everything physical that goes with that) another man/woman is cheating.

to me, an emotional affair would be more devasting than if FH had sex with another woman. To know they spent hours talking and emotionally connecting would make me sick.

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I agree. I think that confiding in someone isn't necessarily cheating but it depends on the nature of the relationship.

One FHs best friends is a girl and I have never felt jealous of their friendship. Everyone needs an outlet. I know he tells her about our relationship and our goals as she does the same.

Basically I think there can be a gray area and nothing is clean cut.

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Posted by Kimbalina

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Kimbalina

Hmmmm
I really want to stay out of this one.

I dont know how to respond to 'emotional relationships'

I know that kissing and touching,, other than me is a big old NO

---

yeah see i kinda feel the same. I mean there is a difference between confiding in somebody and then emotional as in feelings relationship. I am sure quite a few of us can say we talked to a guy about a problem, whether a friends bf, a close guy friend, his guy friends, his brother and so on. Its just venting and talking to the person and asking the opposite sex for their opinion. If i happen to be upset about something and vent to a guy friend about it and ask him for his advice then i am sorry but that is NOT cheating.

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One of our GM's is like my best friend! I do everything with him and he is FH's good friend too. I tell this guy EVERYTHING, we spend a lot of time alone (with out my fh) or out with other friends. I Deffinatly have a strong bond with him. If FH told me I couldnt... that would be a big problem

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I understand that. you guys are friends, have been friends. but would you go out after being engaged and find a new male best friend? that seems a little weird to me. i know that if FH had a female best friend, i'd be FINE with it. but if tomorrow he came home and said, 'I met this girl and she is so awesome, i think we'd be great friends', i'd be a little weary.

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by Kimbalina

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Kimbalina

Hmmmm
I really want to stay out of this one.

I dont know how to respond to 'emotional relationships'

I know that kissing and touching,, other than me is a big old NO

---

yeah see i kinda feel the same. I mean there is a difference between confiding in somebody and then emotional as in feelings relationship. I am sure quite a few of us can say we talked to a guy about a problem, whether a friends bf, a close guy friend, his guy friends, his brother and so on. Its just venting and talking to the person and asking the opposite sex for their opinion. If i happen to be upset about something and vent to a guy friend about it and ask him for his advice then i am sorry but that is NOT cheating.

---

One of our GM's is like my best friend! I do everything with him and he is FH's good friend too. I tell this guy EVERYTHING, we spend a lot of time alone (with out my fh) or out with other friends. I Deffinatly have a strong bond with him. If FH told me I couldnt... that would be a big problem

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I understand that. you guys are friends, have been friends. but would you go out after being engaged and find a new male best friend? that seems a little weird to me. i know that if FH had a female best friend, i'd be FINE with it. but if tomorrow he came home and said, 'I met this girl and she is so awesome, i think we'd be great friends', i'd be a little weary.

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OHHH NOOOOOO!!!
that would make me very upset

hmm there are boundaries that can be crossed here to be considered cheating where as there are some that just may get a person really heated and jealous... (depending on the persons perspective) IMO I would say anything physical such as kissing, etc would declare that my fh has been cheating however i may not agree with the other behavior such as an emotional relationship with another person etc but . that is something i would be willing to work on ... (i am not saying that fh is a big flirt or does this ) he is actually oblvious to the world most of the time

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Posted by JulyBride728

all of the above I consider cheating. Anything a mate does behind your back with intentions of covering it up is considered grounds for serious mistrust...especially when it comes to him and the opposite sex.

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i agree