What do you consider 'cheating'

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Posted by Kimbalina

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Kimbalina

Hmmmm
I really want to stay out of this one.

I dont know how to respond to 'emotional relationships'

I know that kissing and touching,, other than me is a big old NO

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yeah see i kinda feel the same. I mean there is a difference between confiding in somebody and then emotional as in feelings relationship. I am sure quite a few of us can say we talked to a guy about a problem, whether a friends bf, a close guy friend, his guy friends, his brother and so on. Its just venting and talking to the person and asking the opposite sex for their opinion. If i happen to be upset about something and vent to a guy friend about it and ask him for his advice then i am sorry but that is NOT cheating.

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One of our GM's is like my best friend! I do everything with him and he is FH's good friend too. I tell this guy EVERYTHING, we spend a lot of time alone (with out my fh) or out with other friends. I Deffinatly have a strong bond with him. If FH told me I couldnt... that would be a big problem

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yeah exactly. See i understand what the girls are trying to say, they mean meeting a girl and then having feelings for her and talking toher all the time and going to her with things instead of his SO but the way its worded makes it seem like if anyone talks to someone of the opposite sex period then its wrong. If i have problems with FH and i also did this before FH, i liked to talk to a male friend about it and get a male perspective on the situation. Not like i went to these guys and said 'omg i am being treated like this, make me feel better ' its more like ugh i am going through this, i want to work things out with so and so what advice can you give me, what should i do?

i think everything you listed except flirting at a bar

-- my X did the same thing - the whole online single thing ---

makes me nauseas!

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by Kimbalina

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Kimbalina

Hmmmm
I really want to stay out of this one.

I dont know how to respond to 'emotional relationships'

I know that kissing and touching,, other than me is a big old NO

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yeah see i kinda feel the same. I mean there is a difference between confiding in somebody and then emotional as in feelings relationship. I am sure quite a few of us can say we talked to a guy about a problem, whether a friends bf, a close guy friend, his guy friends, his brother and so on. Its just venting and talking to the person and asking the opposite sex for their opinion. If i happen to be upset about something and vent to a guy friend about it and ask him for his advice then i am sorry but that is NOT cheating.

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One of our GM's is like my best friend! I do everything with him and he is FH's good friend too. I tell this guy EVERYTHING, we spend a lot of time alone (with out my fh) or out with other friends. I Deffinatly have a strong bond with him. If FH told me I couldnt... that would be a big problem

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I understand that. you guys are friends, have been friends. but would you go out after being engaged and find a new male best friend? that seems a little weird to me. i know that if FH had a female best friend, i'd be FINE with it. but if tomorrow he came home and said, 'I met this girl and she is so awesome, i think we'd be great friends', i'd be a little weary.

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i just posted about this actually and i said this is where the confusion is. I know that all of you meant if he went out to a club and made a new female friend. But the way it was worded above in a few posts made it seem like if a guy even talks to anyone else about anything its wrong. Yeah that i would never allow and i would never do that to fh either, that is crossing the line.

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Posted by GinaZ

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Posted by JulyBride728

all of the above I consider cheating. Anything a mate does behind your back with intentions of covering it up is considered grounds for serious mistrust...especially when it comes to him and the opposite sex.

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I agree!

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I agree too

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Posted by Kimbalina

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I understand that. you guys are friends, have been friends. but would you go out after being engaged and find a new male best friend? that seems a little weird to me. i know that if FH had a female best friend, i'd be FINE with it. but if tomorrow he came home and said, 'I met this girl and she is so awesome, i think we'd be great friends', i'd be a little weary.

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OHHH NOOOOOO!!!
that would make me very upset

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Yeah. I agree with you, i just wanted to make it clear that new girls that are serious friends doesn't fly. there are girls in his office that he has general convos with everyday and the whole office goes to happy hour every now and then and i could care less... they are friendly.

I think that whenever there is a line crossed you have to work it out and see if that is where you want to be.

do you want to be the wife who ignores,, clues and hints or possible tempting situations?
Or
do you want to be the rule maker wife or spouse of someone who is constantly in doubt of their SO
Or
Can you be trusting with your SO and have a good relationship? And also have them respect you enough not to cross the line

In terms of flirting I don't think that is cheating...Don't get me wrong i still might be miffed because I'm a litle jealous but it's not cheating.

In terms of anything physical it is absolutely cheating. That is a clear blakc and white answer.

Now in terms of emotional cheating....that's a little tougher.

1 - A situation like talking to someone on the internet and pretending to be single and estblishing a confidant relationship, to me would mean that something isn't being fulfilled in your 'real' relationship. That sitaution could lead to meeting and eventually physical cheating. I would probably condsider that sitaution emotional cheating because you're looking for something else outside of your relationship.

2 - A situation like a best friend of the opposite sex is not cheating. Ihave a male best friend that I confide in totally....obviously things that are strictly beween Fh and I I really don't discuss with him because it's none of his business...but that goes for my female friends as well.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by Kimbalina

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Kimbalina

Hmmmm
I really want to stay out of this one.

I dont know how to respond to 'emotional relationships'

I know that kissing and touching,, other than me is a big old NO

---

yeah see i kinda feel the same. I mean there is a difference between confiding in somebody and then emotional as in feelings relationship. I am sure quite a few of us can say we talked to a guy about a problem, whether a friends bf, a close guy friend, his guy friends, his brother and so on. Its just venting and talking to the person and asking the opposite sex for their opinion. If i happen to be upset about something and vent to a guy friend about it and ask him for his advice then i am sorry but that is NOT cheating.

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One of our GM's is like my best friend! I do everything with him and he is FH's good friend too. I tell this guy EVERYTHING, we spend a lot of time alone (with out my fh) or out with other friends. I Deffinatly have a strong bond with him. If FH told me I couldnt... that would be a big problem

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I understand that. you guys are friends, have been friends. but would you go out after being engaged and find a new male best friend? that seems a little weird to me. i know that if FH had a female best friend, i'd be FINE with it. but if tomorrow he came home and said, 'I met this girl and she is so awesome, i think we'd be great friends', i'd be a little weary.

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i just posted about this actually and i said this is where the confusion is. I know that all of you meant if he went out to a club and made a new female friend. But the way it was worded above in a few posts made it seem like if a guy even talks to anyone else about anything its wrong. Yeah that i would never allow and i would never do that to fh either, that is crossing the line.

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yeah i completely agree....flirting whatever, like i said FH is very carasmatic and well he flirts unintentionally haha. But if he ever came home saying like Danielle said OMG this girl is awesome blah blah. I would be like wth?
I don't think I'll have that problem though, FH was hanging out with a bunch of ppl right before he left for Iraq and he said all the girls there were coming up to him bec well the guys that were wearing a wedding band had their wives there and he didnt have me there and he said all he did was talk about me and the wedding. So I guess that is enough to turn any girl off haha

i don't think flirting is cheating. I'm a total flirt; that's my personality; there are different levels of flirting.

I think anytime someone LIES and covers something up, they know it's wrong and that's a form of cheating. I tell FH EVERYTHING and I never have to feel guilty and I don't do anything I'd be ashamed to tell him.

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by Kimbalina

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Kimbalina

Hmmmm
I really want to stay out of this one.

I dont know how to respond to 'emotional relationships'

I know that kissing and touching,, other than me is a big old NO

---

yeah see i kinda feel the same. I mean there is a difference between confiding in somebody and then emotional as in feelings relationship. I am sure quite a few of us can say we talked to a guy about a problem, whether a friends bf, a close guy friend, his guy friends, his brother and so on. Its just venting and talking to the person and asking the opposite sex for their opinion. If i happen to be upset about something and vent to a guy friend about it and ask him for his advice then i am sorry but that is NOT cheating.

---

One of our GM's is like my best friend! I do everything with him and he is FH's good friend too. I tell this guy EVERYTHING, we spend a lot of time alone (with out my fh) or out with other friends. I Deffinatly have a strong bond with him. If FH told me I couldnt... that would be a big problem

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I understand that. you guys are friends, have been friends. but would you go out after being engaged and find a new male best friend? that seems a little weird to me. i know that if FH had a female best friend, i'd be FINE with it. but if tomorrow he came home and said, 'I met this girl and she is so awesome, i think we'd be great friends', i'd be a little weary.

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This is what I mean.

There is a certain emotional aspect of a relationship, that you should only have with your SO.

I'm not just talking about an innocent friendship.

This is what I mean.

There is a certain emotional aspect of a relationship, that you should only have with your SO.

I'm not just talking about an innocent friendship.

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Exactly...I think we are all mature enough to handle a friendship with the opposite sex and we are ok with our FH's having the same friendship...(if it wasn't new like Yelley said).

I had a work friend that was engaged and he would talk to me about things that he should've been discussing with his FW..then he told me he started having feelings for me..(b/c of the friendship we shared) and wanted to call off his wedding. I pulled back and advised him not to call it off.. he is now married with a beautiful daughter however If I were his wife...I'd be devestated!!!

flirting is not cheating IMO. i wouldn't be thrilled with it , and it would make me extremely insecure , but there is no physical contact .

My FH has serveral female friends, all of which i love and get along with. That being said, I would not be happy if he made new female friends simply because he has enough friends AND he has me!

I have been 'emotionally' cheated on, and it turned physical ( not bt FH ) . trust me when I say the pain of him f**king her was 10 times worse then them confiding in each other.

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Posted by wifetobe

This is what I mean.

There is a certain emotional aspect of a relationship, that you should only have with your SO.

I'm not just talking about an innocent friendship.

_______________________________________

Exactly...I think we are all mature enough to handle a friendship with the opposite sex and we are ok with our FH's having the same friendship...(if it wasn't new like Yelley said).

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Agreed. maturity has a lot to do with it. I know a handful of girls that would not be comfortable with their SO's going out with female co-workers, friends, etc

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by wifetobe

This is what I mean.

There is a certain emotional aspect of a relationship, that you should only have with your SO.

I'm not just talking about an innocent friendship.

_______________________________________

Exactly...I think we are all mature enough to handle a friendship with the opposite sex and we are ok with our FH's having the same friendship...(if it wasn't new like Yelley said).

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Agreed. maturity has a lot to do with it. I know a handful of girls that would not be comfortable with their SO's going out with female co-workers, friends, etc

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How would you feel if your SO had more than one emotional relationship. . .talking to girls and not fessing up to having you in his life.

How would you feel if then progressed to them hanging out, but 'nothing' happening.

That is beyond a deal breaker for me.

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by wifetobe

This is what I mean.

There is a certain emotional aspect of a relationship, that you should only have with your SO.

I'm not just talking about an innocent friendship.

_______________________________________

Exactly...I think we are all mature enough to handle a friendship with the opposite sex and we are ok with our FH's having the same friendship...(if it wasn't new like Yelley said).

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Agreed. maturity has a lot to do with it. I know a handful of girls that would not be comfortable with their SO's going out with female co-workers, friends, etc

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oh i def know a few people myself who wouldn't either. At first in our relationship I had a problem but I think it was more out of insecurity with my self. But why should I tell FH he cant go to happy hour with work friends or hang out with friends he had since before we dated just bec they are the opposite sex. I guess at lot of it also has to do with respect for one another and communication as well.

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Posted by MrsHtobe

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by wifetobe

This is what I mean.

There is a certain emotional aspect of a relationship, that you should only have with your SO.

I'm not just talking about an innocent friendship.

_______________________________________

Exactly...I think we are all mature enough to handle a friendship with the opposite sex and we are ok with our FH's having the same friendship...(if it wasn't new like Yelley said).

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Agreed. maturity has a lot to do with it. I know a handful of girls that would not be comfortable with their SO's going out with female co-workers, friends, etc

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How would you feel if your SO had more than one emotional relationship. . .talking to girls and not fessing up to having you in his life.

How would you feel if then progressed to them hanging out, but 'nothing' happening.

That is beyond a deal breaker for me.

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I'm ok with the talking and chatting about vactions, politics, gas prices, etc... but the minute he wants to know something 'intimate' about her or vice versa, that would truly hurt me.

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Posted by MrsHtobe

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by wifetobe

This is what I mean.

There is a certain emotional aspect of a relationship, that you should only have with your SO.

I'm not just talking about an innocent friendship.

_______________________________________

Exactly...I think we are all mature enough to handle a friendship with the opposite sex and we are ok with our FH's having the same friendship...(if it wasn't new like Yelley said).

---

Agreed. maturity has a lot to do with it. I know a handful of girls that would not be comfortable with their SO's going out with female co-workers, friends, etc

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How would you feel if your SO had more than one emotional relationship. . .talking to girls and not fessing up to having you in his life.

How would you feel if then progressed to them hanging out, but 'nothing' happening.

That is beyond a deal breaker for me.

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I'm my origial reply I said I considered that cheating. That is emotional cheating that very well will lead to phsyical cheating.

What do you consider cheating?

Sleeping with someone?
Going on a date (even if they do nothing?)
Flirting in a bar?
Kissing someone after a few too many drinks?
Having an 'emotional' affair?


ALL OF THE ABOVE!



I would be pissed if any of the above happened