What place would you pick?

So I thought FH and I were gonna have a destination wedding, but it's been nothing but drama with FMIL calling us selfish because not enough of the family would be there and then telling everyone she passed on the street about how selfish we were being. Plus since our dad's won't fly, it was gonna be this endless series of 3 day cruises just to get their butts down there...so much aggravation for just one day.

So anyway, FH and I started exploring our options and found two places we really like, however both have problems. One is Belhurt Castle. It's upstate, but it's six hours away. We'd probably have it on July 3rd or 4th and it's unbelieveably affordable. You pick the menu and as long as you spend at least $5000 on a friday or $9000 on a saturday, it doesn't matter how many people you have. However, since it's so far away, most people wouldn't want to drive. We would consider renting coach buses to take everyone up there, but it's 6 hours there, a wedding and then 6 hours back. Would this be too much to expect of people and if it is, should we just leave it to them to get lodging?

Our other option is Saint Clements Castle in Connecticut. It's gorgeous and much closer and we'd be able to have the wedding at the cathedral in Brooklyn where I was baptized. However, they are very pricy on fridays and they are already booked on Thursday, July 3rd. If we were to pick the following thursday, people would probably have to take off Thursday and then Friday to recover. Would you take off from work for a midweek wedding or is this too much to ask of people?

Sorry this is so long, but thanks for any advice. We really need to make a decision soon.

did you ask your families about the 6 hr drive vs. the day off from work vs a holiday? and are mostly all of them from the li area? is there a hotel near the castle upstate? i would assume most ppl would just get a hotel room...how much does a room cost???

is it cheaper to have it upstate and rent the bus to or to just have it in ct?

i dont think u neeeeeed to feel responsible or obligated to get anyone transportation/lodging...its a nice touch but i dont really think its expected as long as there is enough notice for ppl to make their own arragements. although if its in your budget...then do what u like : )

my opinion would be really just consider which place you both like better...and what works for u...its hard to make everyone happy so inevitably there will be ppl who complain no matter what. and the ppl who care and want to be there will be there and support you.

Yes very true, you have to keep in mind that you are doing it 4th of july weekend so there would be more traffic than usual. I'll be honest, depends on who's wedding it is, i might not go...if its a close friend or family member i would do it. I mean people even go to other states. BUT if it was someone I wasn't very close with, i would have to strongly think about the very long drive. Plus find out the cost for hotel stay.

All your close friends and family will go, as long as you don't mind people not rsvp'ing bc of the distance then that is fine.

The whole taking off of work thing. I would take off if i were able to obviously, but sometimes i can't...I wish i was able to take off today to do everything for my party tomorrow but i cant even do it for myself right now.

This is your day, but you do have to remember it also is a special day for those you love. Get a feel for what your family would be comfortable doing.
Honestly, I know that I would be annoyed having to drive that far on a holiday weekend and/or to have to take off two days from work. If you do something like that, just remember that a lot of people will probably reply no and if you have to guarentee a number of people, watch out!

If you provided transportation and i can go upstate and go to a castle my *** would be on the bus with a few beers or champagne (whatever) cheering your wedding.

Honestly I feel that the drive is a bit icky to upstate if its a holiday BUT if it was my friend or family (and i have had to go to family weddings upstate) i would do it even with holiday traffic. I am a poor girl financially but i always find money to stay in a hotel for a mini vacation for a wedding just to enjoy myself and if you threw the scenes from upstate and paired it with a castle I would be delighted.

SO DO IT!!!

If you really want to do the church thing and connet. then do that but honestly it seems you rather do the castle upstate. Do what you want and what fh wants. Enough said.

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Posted by tdebe

Ok, so I see most would not want to drive the six hours, but if I provided transportation, would that make you want to go? I was gonna provide food on the bus and movies and at least they can party like crazy and then have a six hour drive to sleep it off.

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HMMM maybe, although ill be honest, its still a 6-10 hour drive and personally i would rather drive there but thats bc i have my own reasons...For one i smoke so if i am gonna take such a long drive i am going to want to smoke, but thats me...Two if they stay there then i guess its fine, but if anyone is leaving the same night that means they would get home around 6-7am. If i were going I would just pay for a hotel to stay there, i dont want to sleep on a bus for 6 hours after driving there 6 hours and partying all night.

Also find out price quotes for transportation first, its a long drive so it wont be that cheap.

My friend had to go to a wedding upstate last year and they all just got rooms

Hmmn, we've flown so we can attend weddings, pick where you want!

Although w/ that said, our 1st choice was in the hamptons, my FIL's thought it was too inconvient for guest, our 2nd choice was in the city, again it was deemed too inconvient, so we're having ours on long island.