what the h*ll is wrong with him?

I just got off the phone with my FH. We had a huge fight. I don't know what is wrong with him.

He keeps suggesting these utterly ridiculous things for the wedding, and he thinks they're hilarious, and when I tell him that they're just not going to happen he tells me that I have no sense of humor and don't know how to have fun with myself.

He keeps picking the most important moments to ruin, too. For example, he told me the other night that his friends (and groomsmen, probably) were saying that when the time came for the first kiss at the end of the ceremony, that one of them would shove him away, and the other would grab me, dip me, and give me a huge kiss. At first I kind of laughed, thinking he was kidding... but he wasn't. He actually thought it would be great if they did that. He didn't even tell them not to! All he told them was that they couldn't because I would be mad... not that they couldn't because it was a horrible idea that would ruin one of the biggest moments of our wedding.

Tonight we fought because he told me that he thinks that for the first dance we should do like 30 seconds of a nice slow romantic song, and then break out into the HUSTLE. Now, sure, that would be funny... if we were in some ridiculous Adam Sandler comedy. But this is our first dance as husband and wife, I want it to be sweet and romantic, not some ridiculous circus spectacle.

And he refuses to listen and just tells me I have no sense of humor, that I just want everything to be serious... which is ridiculous! That's not me at all, and he should know better. I simply want my wedding to be sweet and romantic, not some f-ing carnival. It's not supposed to be a comedy show for my guests, it's supposed to be a wedding!

He just wants to turn the whole thing into a joke. And it's just insane that we're fighting over this stupid crap that really doesn't matter, I don't get why he couldn't just see how stupid it is and let it go, but NO, he has to get it his way, and when he doens't it's all because I'M boring and serious. He keeps telling me that he thinks I'm going to be a huge bridezilla and flip out if even the tiniest thing goes wrong, which is so unbelievably hurtful, especially because my whole promise to myself in this wedding was that I'm not going to obsess about making it perfect and that I'm not going to turn all bridezilla, but rather just enjoy the process and enjoy the wedding and let it just be what it will be.

I'm so hurt and upset right now, I don't even know what to do. I could really use some hugs.

Re: what the h*ll is wrong with him?

I'm sorry honey. Sometimes they just don't think. For us its more of a serious thing(not uptight) thing because we do at lot of the work and we know what it takes to pull this off successfully. For them its more of a fun/ party thing cause they just get to input on certain topics, and they aren't really concentrating on the small details. I'm sorry you guys had a fight, but remember that means that a make up session is soon to follow

Re: what the h*ll is wrong with him?

aw I'm sorry you're upset. But from what you wrote it seems that FH has a very big sense of humor and is alot of fun to be around. I get the idea that when you guys are together he makes you laugh &smile and even though maybe you feel it isn't the right day for his comedy remember it's part of his personality. I say make a compromise. Weddings are supposed to be fun - don't get to stuffy about it - break loose a bit. Not that I am suggesting you allow a groomsmen to grab you and kiss you - but maybe make room somewhere else.

Re: what the h*ll is wrong with him?

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Posted by transamgirlie

aw I'm sorry you're upset. But from what you wrote it seems that FH has a very big sense of humor and is alot of fun to be around. I get the idea that when you guys are together he makes you laugh &smile and even though maybe you feel it isn't the right day for his comedy remember it's part of his personality. I say make a compromise. Weddings are supposed to be fun - don't get to stuffy about it - break loose a bit. Not that I am suggesting you allow a groomsmen to grab you and kiss you - but maybe make room somewhere else.

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Sara-I have to agree a little here. You sound like an incredibly smart and organized person and he probably just wants you to let loose a little.

Compromise-come up with some other light and humorous way to show your fun side. I agree though, messing with the first dance..etc..should not happen.

Sorry you had this fight. It's a terrible feeling and leaves you feeling insecure.

this will pass..