My FH refuses to ask his parents to contribute to our wedding and he will not let me ask them either. He said whatever my parents don't pay for, he will pay for. As of now..my parents are paying for EVERYTHING. His parents have not offered anything either. SO here's my question...come invitation time, do I leave them out? I wouldn't really be doing it to be a bi**c but I want my parents to get the recognition they deserve. Thoughts?
enjft
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Re: What would you do???
I think like you cause I would only put his parents on the invite. They do deserve all the glory. If FI doesnt mind I would do it.
bluesashbride
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Re: What would you do???
Ask your parents if they are paying for the invitations how they feel about having FIL's name on the invite. You could put their names after FH's and not as part of the hosts' names. My last thought would be that it is not always about money and contributions.
nferrandi
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Re: What would you do???
You can do 'your parents name' invute you to the wedding of their daughter 'your name' to 'your FH's name' son of 'his parents name.' that will make it clear that your parents are hosting without leaving his parents completely out.
MayBride06
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Posted by enjft
I think like you cause I would only put his parents on the invite. They do deserve all the glory. If FI doesnt mind I would do it.
In my opinion, I do not think money should make a difference on who goes on the invite. If that were the case, my mom would be left off and my in-laws would be the only ones on the invite. It's a celebration of two families honoring their children that are getting married, they should both go on the invite. JMHO although I know i will be in the minority here.
Marcie
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Re: What would you do???
My parents partially paid for the wedding with myself and DH. Dh's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner. We felt that we wanted both set of parents names on the invites. This is what we put and both sides were fine with it: Mr & Mrs Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxx invite you to join them in celebrating the marriage of their daughter Marcie Ann to James Edward son of Mr & Mrs Xxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxx on Friday, the twenty-second of October two thousand and four at three-thirty in the afternoon
alioop4282
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Thanks for the advise. I talked to FH about it and he said if we leave his parents off, he's fine with that since they aren't contributing. I feel like I really can't do that..it's mean. My parents said really I should do whatever I want but I know my dad would like just his and my moms name.
alioop4282
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So If I put his parents name only as 'son of'...will everyone know that my parents are the ones really hosting? I know it shouldn't be about money..but it really is bothering me. I mean..they didn't even get us an engagement card! I know they really like me though, that's the thing. EVen when our parents met for the first time..we all went out to dinner to a very expensive restaurant and my dad paid the whole bill! They didn't even OFFER! It just bugs me. I know it's a celebration of two famililies but still...it's THEIR child too-they should offer something-anything.
stephanief
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Re: What would you do???
Posted by nferrandi
You can do 'your parents name' invute you to the wedding of their daughter 'your name' to 'your FH's name' son of 'his parents name.' that will make it clear that your parents are hosting without leaving his parents completely out.
I think that's a great idea, this way you do not rock the boat too much and ppl know that your parents are hosting the wedding.
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: What would you do???
Posted by nferrandi
You can do 'your parents name' invute you to the wedding of their daughter 'your name' to 'your FH's name' son of 'his parents name.' that will make it clear that your parents are hosting without leaving his parents completely out.
I agree
ChrissynRicky
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Re: What would you do???
It is their choice to contribute or not to contribute.
When the invitation time comes along, since your parents are hosting it by contributing money, you can have them on the invite, and exclude his parents.
NPbride
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Re: What would you do???
Posted by nferrandi
You can do 'your parents name' invute you to the wedding of their daughter 'your name' to 'your FH's name' son of 'his parents name.' that will make it clear that your parents are hosting without leaving his parents completely out.
That's what I was gonig to suggest!
LFitzy79
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Re: What would you do???
Posted by alioop4282
So If I put his parents name only as 'son of'...will everyone know that my parents are the ones really hosting? I know it shouldn't be about money..but it really is bothering me. I mean..they didn't even get us an engagement card! I know they really like me though, that's the thing. EVen when our parents met for the first time..we all went out to dinner to a very expensive restaurant and my dad paid the whole bill! They didn't even OFFER! It just bugs me. I know it's a celebration of two famililies but still...it's THEIR child too-they should offer something-anything.
yep, if you put 'son of', everyone will know your parents are hosting the event, but honestly you don't HAVE to put his parents name on the invitation at all...it used to just be the brides parents regardless of who was paying, because they are 'giving thier daughter away' to a man..... if you want to put thier names on, I think it's a nice thing to do for them, but you have to do what you and your FI can live with....
Blu-ize
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I had both names on as if they were both hosting even though my parents contributed more. I think that it shouldn't matter who pays. But that's just my honest opinion.
alioop4282
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But it's not that my parents are paying MORE..they're paying ALL!!! In this day and age, it DOES matter who pays. I mean gas is almost $4 a gallon..and we all know what a wedding costs. I just don't think it's right that they don't even offer. My parents aren't rich but they want me to have a nice wedding and I feel his parents should want the same for him.
Beth1210
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Re: What would you do???
do what I did
Beth and Jake together with there families yada yada yada
My Dad is paying for the whole thing and I didn't want to put FIL names-so this was easier
littlebookworm4
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i would just put your parents since they are the ones who are really hosting it
Beth1210
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Posted by alioop4282
But it's not that my parents are paying MORE..they're paying ALL!!! In this day and age, it DOES matter who pays. I mean gas is almost $4 a gallon..and we all know what a wedding costs. I just don't think it's right that they don't even offer. My parents aren't rich but they want me to have a nice wedding and I feel his parents should want the same for him.
my FH parents never offered either- I think it's really rude in this day and age
they only have 1 kid- don't let it bother you- it wont help- trust me
alioop4282
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Thanks for understanding, Beth.
BRIDEMICHELE
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I'd leave them off the invitation completely. Luckily, my FIL have been great. But I want to know, how does your FMIL give you a list of people to invite when she hasn't given a lick of money? How does she have the nerve to do that? I hope that she at least kept her side to a minimum.
