What would you do? Guest List Drama!

#1 FH should take your side & ask this guy what his problem is. If it were me, I'd be in his face asking him ' what is up with you? Did I offend you in some way? Or are you just an A-hole?' But that's me I tend to to be a loose cannon big mouth. No way would I invite him. If he is going to come to your wedding & snub you who needs that. Your FH should agree with you & STICK UP FOR YOU! Not fight with you about some jerk that is disrespecting you.

#2 NO INVITE! I hate sneaky back talkers. If you have something to say, be real & let me know, get in my face if you have a problem with me. We can work it out, or not work it out. Don't talk behind my back. That is the trait of a coward!

There is enough B/S in the world we need to deal with on a daily basis..........who needs B/S on your wedding day.

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Posted by WinterBride10

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Posted by MarjorieFrank

I would invite the second person and cut ties with her after the wedding. I feel not inviting her is exactly what she wants. If she and you have a bunch of mutual friends, hopefully you won't even see her at the wedding because she'll be too busy with her friends. HOWEVER If it is a small wedding and her presence will be felt/known, then I wouldn't invite her.

The first person sounds like a total d0uchebag. I wouldn't invite him, but I think you may need to check with your FH. If your FH really wants him there I think you will have to make that sacrifice for FH.

If any of these two people will cause a scene at your wedding, then definitely don't invite them. But, I think that you won't even realize that they are there when the day is blurring by.

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My room only holds 180 and I had actually had a fight with my mother about inviting family I don't know because the room is so small.

The male is also a miserable drunk and I'm afraid he might say some words about me or others at the wedding. He has embarrassed himself before at other weddings.

The only scene my ex-roommate might make is with my other friend who she doesn't like. My ex-roommate's fiance cheated on her with this girl who will be at my wedding. I wish her wedidng was first so I wouldn't have to make this decision!

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OK. If it was me, I wouldn't invite them! I was trying to play devil's advocate.

your wedding is supposed to be special and fun- you should look around and be like wow all these people are here because she are happy and love my FH and me... the last thing you want is someone there who doesn't like you/you don't like right?

Also after the wedding are you ever going to hang out/talk to this girl ? Def don't invite her just because- would you want to go to her wedding if she got married? Prob not- weddings are too expensive to just invite these silly people- does your FH want them both there??

Clearly she is not a good friend if she is saying there will be more drama if you dont invite her.

On the other hand- if you do invite them-you will prob say hi to them for a second that day and thats it.. you won't have time to talk to them/hang out with them- so at the end of the day you can pretend they aren't even there! good luck!!

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Posted by WinterBride10

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Posted by MarjorieFrank

I would invite the second person and cut ties with her after the wedding. I feel not inviting her is exactly what she wants. If she and you have a bunch of mutual friends, hopefully you won't even see her at the wedding because she'll be too busy with her friends. HOWEVER If it is a small wedding and her presence will be felt/known, then I wouldn't invite her.

The first person sounds like a total d0uchebag. I wouldn't invite him, but I think you may need to check with your FH. If your FH really wants him there I think you will have to make that sacrifice for FH.

If any of these two people will cause a scene at your wedding, then definitely don't invite them. But, I think that you won't even realize that they are there when the day is blurring by.

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My room only holds 180 and I had actually had a fight with my mother about inviting family I don't know because the room is so small.

The male is also a miserable drunk and I'm afraid he might say some words about me or others at the wedding. He has embarrassed himself before at other weddings.

The only scene my ex-roommate might make is with my other friend who she doesn't like. My ex-roommate's fiance cheated on her with this girl who will be at my wedding. I wish her wedidng was first so I wouldn't have to make this decision!

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It's your day and invite who you want to be there.

I personally would absolutely not invite person #1. Especially if he is a miserable drunk..he WILL make a scene. But also your FH needs to talk to him about the way he treats you because that is not fair to you especially if your FH is becoming really close to him.

I also would not invite person #2. Who cares if not inviting her will start drama, you sure as hell don't want to risk inviting her and drama happening at your wedding. It's time for people to grow up and just get over things. I used to have so much drama in my life and I realized that it all was caused by a certain group of people and I just decided to phase myself out of that group and I have to say that my life is a lot less drama-filled because of it.

no to both!!!!

tell FH if he really wants this friend to be there he better have a talk with him about respecting you and if things change he can be invited of course you should tell FH not to mention the wedding invite as a reason for treating you with respect (sometimes guys can be silly and say things like if you dont treat my girl better shes not gonna invite you!)

as far as the ex-roommate goes - forget her! i have a similar situation - my ex-roommate was one of my best friends for a while and then we were not talking at all for sometime but we do work together and have to be cordial at work - i wouldnt even think of inviting her!

I'm sorry you are going through this. Usually I read what everyone else has to say to see if what I was going to say was already said (WOW! I think I just confused myself LOL). ANYWAY, to answer your questions...

1. This is tricky. While it's your wedding and you don't want this man there, it's also your FH's wedding and he might want this man here. It might not be worth it to fight with your FH about this and just let him invite this man and get it over with. There will be more fights while planning and sometimes you have to pick your battle.

2. As for your old roommate, this is YOUR CALL and ONLY YOUR CALL! If those friends think you should invite her then they should give you the money to invite her. You can't invite everyone and for one of the most important days of your life you want people that aren't going to talk about you while you're walking down the aisle and it seems like this girl is either going to talk about you if you invite her or not. Think of it this way...do you REALLY want her sitting at your wedding complaining about you and commenting on the ideas you picked out OR would you rather her complain about not being invited and you not having to walk on eggshells the day of your wedding.

At the end of the day it's you and your FH's day!!!! Try to remember that and don't let other people influence you into making decisions you don't want to make.

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Posted by allsmiles830

I say No. It's your wedding! You are NOT obligated to invite anyone that you don't want....If there's drama surrounding it, it isn't meant to be!

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ITA! If it was family I might disagree, but you should be happy on your day and these people sound like total downers!

i would definitiely not invite either!!!!!

if someone doesnt even have the decency to say hello to me im sure as hell not inviting them to the most important day of my life

and if i dont like someone and they dont like me why on earth would i even want to spend the money and go to their wedding for it to just be awkward?

i wouldnt even think twice about taking them off the guest list, sorry if im harsh lol

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Posted by AdriandSteve

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Posted by WinterBride10

Hi All- Sorry..this is a bit long.

Please help me with this difficult situation. Do I invite these people to my wedding or not? In our circle of friends I have a problem with two people.

#1. A male friend who has become close friends with my fiance but does not like me very much and makes that blatantly clear. He is rude to me when we are in our group, does not talk to me, and is hesitate to say hello. Just last night I tapped him on the back, said hello and he just ignored me, didn't even look at me. My fiancé and I fight about it all the time, I just don't get how FH doesn't say anything to him. Do I invite him to my wedding? He is such a miserable person always complaining about everyone, and I am one of them.

#2. My old roommate that I no longer talk to. She had a mouth full to say about me behind my back to everyone when we were roommates. We are now cordial with each other, but everyone is telling me that if I don't invite her, there will be drama. She doesn't like me as much as I don't like her. Since we have the same group of friends we just put up with it when we are together. Things have gotten better, but honestly I feel uncomfortable around her and I really would not want her there. But everyone is insisting I invite her.

Do I suck it up and invite these two? Or not invite them and deal with the consequences of the drama aftermath?

Thank you!

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FH must must talk to his friend he he wants him to be invited to your wedding.

I wouldn't bother with your former roommate.

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That is what I was thinking!

I would invite your FH's friends even if he doesnt like you. Even though its YOUR wedding- its your FH's wedding too and you dont want him to feel like he cant have one of his friends there. For all you know he will not come- which is better for you- but at least you made the attempt.

I wouldnt invite your roommate though- if she has something to say about you to everyone you dont need her starting at the wedding.

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Posted by MrsList

I would say no to both of them. And honestly if FH STILL wants this guy invited after he's so rude to you, I would tell FH he's not invited either. What's that about?

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I find this to be really funny! Thanks for the laugh! I think you are all right, even though I don't think the roommate talks about me anymore, and wouldn't say anything at the wedding, we're just not friends anymore...so there is no reason to invite her.

As for the douche bag friend...FH told me today that he is going to talk with him and said if he has a problem with me he will not be invited to the wedding.

You guys are great! Thanks so much for all of your advice. And like some of you said, who cares about the drama afterwards...I don't even like the people, why would I care what they say or think...I already feel uncomfortable around them, I don't think it could get any worse.

Now let's hope Douche Bag tells my FH straight to his face that he doesn't like me so I can validate the reason why he's not invited!

Personally... I say NOPE don't invite them. WHY should they be there for your wedding? Just to put on a fake smile all the while everyone knowing how fake it all is??

Sorry but my vote is abig fat no.

AND... just to let you know... FH's cousin is a girl who HATES me for some UNKNOWN reason!! She always had an issue with me and would say a lot of things behind my back to my friends and FH. Then she would say things to FH like HOW IS YOUR HOME LIFE (we live together).... just nasty condescending things.
About a year ago I had enough and tried to talk to her.... AKA CONFRONT her... because let's be honest... I so wasn't going to be too nice to her about all this crap. I NEVER did anything to her at all!! She ignored me. I haven't seen her since that night where I just had enough (long story but I couldn't say anything to her that night because she was drunk and rumbling on the front lawn of her house with her brothers... physically fighting with people because she was too drunk during a block party).
Anywho... guess WHO IS SO NOT INVITED?!?!? YUP FH first cousin!! Her mother and both brothers are invited... but she isn't. I made sure I let his family know that she's not invited and why. FH completely stands behind me with it.

Bottom line... life is too short to surround yourself with people like that... people who bring you down or just bring negativity into your life. Cut them out and don't look back. I have lots of friends who don't talk to one another... but that doens't stop me from talking to them.... so if you have a problem with your old roomate and are no longer friends with her then it really should be your choice to cut her out and not deal with her. And your friends need to understand and live with that.

With the friend of FH... I have some issues with this one. First and formost FH should stand up for you there. WHY doesn't this guy like you? There HAS to be a reason for it... where there's animosity there's a reason for it. Not that you did anything per se... a lot of times people dont like other people because of things that have nothing to do with the other person.. it could be something internal or insecurity, etc. I think you should talk to this guy. Wait for a good time though... next time you try to say hello and he ignores you... there's your window of opportunity to say... 'I'm sorry but do you have any sort of issue with me? because more often than not i get the feeling that there's a problem, especially when you don't say hello back or even look at me.' Start off nice.. this way you aren't in the wrong. Then you can even say something like... 'I'd love to have you at the wedding... but I can't see myself inviting someone who acts like they hate me all the time... so I would like to talk about this to smooth things out'. Depending on how things go you will have your answer on whether or not he should be invited. My instinct say nope... but give him the benefit of the doubt for FH. This way you can say you tried everything you could. FH needs to see this for himself. Apparantly he hasn't yet.

Sorry sometimes I'm just a tough cookie... and when people do you wrong like that... CUT THEM OUT. they are poison to your soul.

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Posted by dazey

imo.. do not invite either one of them. why should they celebrate your wedding with you, and why should you worry about their attitudes? f them.

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hee hee.. right on sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I love you gnome girl!!!

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Posted by KerriJohnS

Personally... I say NOPE don't invite them. WHY should they be there for your wedding? Just to put on a fake smile all the while everyone knowing how fake it all is??

Sorry but my vote is abig fat no.


Sorry sometimes I'm just a tough cookie... and when people do you wrong like that... CUT THEM OUT. they are poison to your soul.

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Thanks so much for that post! Only other brides can understand what I'm going through.

And to answer your question:
I think he doesn't like me because I don't deal with his attitude very well. Everyone laughs at him and thinks his rudeness is just how he is and they let it roll off their backs, but sometimes I just can't take it and bite back and he doesn't like it. Ironic isn't it? We have our bicker moments, but I don't ignore him when I see him again. I let the last bicker match go.

And you're right about the talk...we'll see. I have had the talk before and he was nice to me for a while...but it didn't last long.

Thanks again!