What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Original post by suven

Jun 30, 2005 04:56 PM

DH and I were talking about one of his cousin's wive's diamonds. Turns out, the guy bought the diamond for his last girlfriend, but they broke up before he ever got a chance to propose.

When he met his now-wife, he reset the diamond and proposed to her with it.

And, the wife doesn't know...

what would you do?

Happily Ever After Posted: Jun 30, 2005 08:03 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

I would be really upset - thats gross

Mariec Posted: Jun 30, 2005 08:22 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

I would flip!! If it was a family diamond then thats fine.... but ohhhh no if it was an ex.... well let me tell u there would be no wedding until there was a new one!

Thats like this person I know went to sell her ring after they got divorce and it turned out to be a fake diamond and was never told...

Its one thing to be told.. another to lie! And if you start lying about that.. then what else is the person lying about!

sarahthegreat Posted: Jun 30, 2005 08:27 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Posted by DjPiLL

There are guys out there that actually buy a ring and hold onto it for that 'special time'.

Would you ladies be pissed at that too? My co-worker bought a ring... hasn't proposed to anybody yet.

Would you be pissed if he proposed to you in this scenario?

yes, i would. he's buying a ring w/o me in mind. it makes no sense. why buy a ring when you have no one in mind?

jsb1ot Posted: Jun 30, 2005 09:42 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

I will feel devastated. Just the thought of that diamond that links to my husband's past. Worst, if it's the same diamond he used to propose to her then.

DrBeLLaRoSe Posted: Jun 30, 2005 11:56 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

i would be upset... i would not want it. he would have to take it back and give me a new completely different diamond and setting.
i would rather have no ring than that ring.

marymoon Posted: Jun 30, 2005 11:57 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

I'd probably break up with the guy and tel him to shove it up his @$$. Is that bad?

marymoon Posted: Jun 30, 2005 11:59 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Posted by smm2675

Posted by DjPiLL

There are guys out there that actually buy a ring and hold onto it for that 'special time'.

Would you ladies be pissed at that too? My co-worker bought a ring... hasn't proposed to anybody yet.

Would you be pissed if he proposed to you in this scenario?

yes, i would. he's buying a ring w/o me in mind. it makes no sense. why buy a ring when you have no one in mind?

I agree. That's MOST RIDICULOUS thing I've ever heard. It would not make me feel special at all. Guys shoudon;t pick a ring becuase THEY like it, but because their soon to be fiancee will like it or because it in some way serves as a symbol of their relationship. I think any guy who buys a ring ahead for no reason has PROBLEMS. Seriously.

AJsMommy122 Posted: Jul 01, 2005 12:04 AM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Posted by marymoon

Posted by smm2675

Posted by DjPiLL

There are guys out there that actually buy a ring and hold onto it for that 'special time'.

Would you ladies be pissed at that too? My co-worker bought a ring... hasn't proposed to anybody yet.

Would you be pissed if he proposed to you in this scenario?

yes, i would. he's buying a ring w/o me in mind. it makes no sense. why buy a ring when you have no one in mind?

I agree. That's MOST RIDICULOUS thing I've ever heard. It would not make me feel special at all. Guys shoudon;t pick a ring becuase THEY like it, but because their soon to be fiancee will like it or because it in some way serves as a symbol of their relationship. I think any guy who buys a ring ahead for no reason has PROBLEMS. Seriously.

I agree.

I would not want a ring that DH picked out for 'whoever he wound up marrying' I want my ring picked out with me in mind and my taste and how he feels about me.
Not to be mean... and I understand financially why your friend would do this... but I find it a little weird.

nov.bride Posted: Jul 01, 2005 08:48 AM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

I don't think I would be thrilled about it but at least he got it reset.

If he didn't I would be bull$#!+
but...........................I wouldn't tell her, I feel like thats his job to do.

ETA-
To comment about what the above posters are talking about:
Ideally I would prefer a ring specifically picked for me.
Not prebought before he even knew me.

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Jul 01, 2005 09:22 AM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Posted by SomethingBlu

Being that he never gave it to his ex, I don't know if I would care. If he had actually presented it and had it returned, that's another story.

I agree.

MissingTheBGene Posted: Jul 01, 2005 09:33 AM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Posted by SomethingBlu

Being that he never gave it to his ex, I don't know if I would care. If he had actually presented it and had it returned, that's another story.

I totally agree!

Blu-ize Posted: Jul 01, 2005 09:44 AM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Perspective:

Selling a diamond back to the jeweler often ends up with a net loss.$$ You would be surprised how much your jewelry is not worth when you go to try and sell it, diamonds included. That's practicality talking.

Buying a stone for nobody specific is just plain wacked. It's not an investment unless you own a diamond mine.

Getting a stone that was meant for someone else might make me uncomfortable at first, however if you take the cost of the whole wedding thing into account, it makes the most practical sense. If that's how the couple is then it's perfectly fine. If you get too caught up in the romantic relationship of the diamond as so many do, (including myself) then it could get sticky. My wedding band is white gold and not platinum because we were just spending so much on the wedding we felt that it made sense. It's not the same thing as a recycled diamond, but it's the same practicality mind set.

Guys don't get as wrapped up in this stuff like women do. He's probably not even thinking about it as much.

Hallowedding Posted: Jul 01, 2005 12:17 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Ok, I have to throw in a little story.

My brother was engaged FOUR times and used the same diamond each time!!!! (Lucky for him, the girls gave him the ring back each time!) His (only) wife is wearing it now.

It gets better - his wife was engaged once before. She wore the wedding dress she bought to marry her ex at the wedding to my brother!!!

Yeah, they're either very secure or just 'thrifty'

EvenEdan Posted: Jul 01, 2005 12:41 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

I'm thinking he probably just thought it was the practical thing to do, but I'd be upset. Very upset actually. He picked it out with her in mind, not me. I doubt he has any emotional attachment to it (he is a guy after all), but I would still feel like this diamond is more a symbol of his failed relationship with her, than a symbol of his love for me. And not for nothing, I deserve my own diamond, bigger and better, and picked out just for me!

akaMrsT Posted: Jul 01, 2005 12:49 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Posted by meishie

Ok, I have to throw in a little story.

My brother was engaged FOUR times and used the same diamond each time!!!! (Lucky for him, the girls gave him the ring back each time!) His (only) wife is wearing it now.

It gets better - his wife was engaged once before. She wore the wedding dress she bought to marry her ex at the wedding to my brother!!!

Yeah, they're either very secure or just 'thrifty'

Sounds like my dad who used the same ring a few times

Bella Blu Posted: Jul 01, 2005 12:57 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Posted by meishie

Ok, I have to throw in a little story.

My brother was engaged FOUR times and used the same diamond each time!!!! (Lucky for him, the girls gave him the ring back each time!) His (only) wife is wearing it now.

It gets better - his wife was engaged once before. She wore the wedding dress she bought to marry her ex at the wedding to my brother!!!

Yeah, they're either very secure or just 'thrifty'

wow!!!!!

hmm8191 Posted: Jul 01, 2005 12:57 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Posted by june262004

Its not a matter of it being for someone else ITS more about HE bought it for someone else!

but he's marrying YOU! I don't think I would have minded.
Especially if it's BIG

AtticaQT Posted: Jul 07, 2005 12:14 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

Posted by EvenEdan

I'm thinking he probably just thought it was the practical thing to do, but I'd be upset. Very upset actually. He picked it out with her in mind, not me. I doubt he has any emotional attachment to it (he is a guy after all), but I would still feel like this diamond is more a symbol of his failed relationship with her, than a symbol of his love for me. And not for nothing, I deserve my own diamond, bigger and better, and picked out just for me!

I agree with this 100%

dpli Posted: Jul 07, 2005 12:40 PM

Re: What would you do if you found out that your e-ring was....'recycled'

I don't think I would have a problem with it if the stone was reset.

My concern is more about why all these other people know about it and not the wife. IMO, he should have just kept his mouth shut because I think sooner or later, someone will tell her and then she will probably be upset about it.