A friend of mine just got engaged and is struggling with talking to FIL's about what they are contributing.... if anything...
I remember that being the hardest part after getting engaged, everyone fighting over money...
I am very lucky my parents are paying for the bulk of the reception and my dress, and FIL's picking up whatever is left of the recp. and maybe a vendor... Fh and I are paying for the rest...
traceyd
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Re: who is paying ???
My parents are paying for the reception and something else (they gave me a budget) and then FH & I are paying for everything else-His dad offered to pay for something (not sure what yet) but his mother hasn't offered a cent
May05Bride
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Re: who is paying ???
with us, we are paying for the wedding ourselves. My family is helping a little, financially as much as they wanted to, but we are paying for the bulk!
JimmysBride
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Re: who is paying ???
Paid for it ourselves! My mom gave us some $$$ towards our HM as a gift and DHs parents paid for the RD as a gift. Other than that, all us.
me and my FH are footing the entire bill! My parents have 3 daughters they'd need to hit lotto to pay for 3 weddings and his, well my mom says if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all , yea so we are paying!
SuzBride
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I think you need another option!
I guess I would pick other -
Mostly my parents (bride's) and then me and FH are going to pay for as much as we can.
FIL's arent planning to help the cause - although I still have hopes they will pay for the RD!
beautyq115
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Re: who is paying ???
My Mom is paying for our reception...not sure how much my FI parents will give us they haven't specified as of yet. We had always planned to pay for the bulk ourselves!
Princessmaris
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Re: who is paying ???
My parents are giving as much as the can... and my Fh family is hug opposed to mine which is very small...
My dad just couldnt get past having to pay for the bigger room, and then like all of their family... between firends and family my list only added to be like 70... there are 213 people on the list... you do the math of # of guests on his side... so my dads number included all of my family me and Fh's friends and like 50 of thier family members... it was up to them... they cover the rest or we cut the list...
WHAT A MESS IT WAS!!!
Thank God everything worked out, the decided to pay the difference, the RD and throw the e-party
12-3Princess
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Re: who is paying ???
My parents are paying. His are paying for the rehearsal dinner and hopefully at least part of the honeymoon.
psf80
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Re: who is paying ???
My parents are paying for the ceremony/reception and my dress. His parents are paying for the flowers, the photographer & videographer, the band, our honeymoon and the day after brunch. We're paying for all the little extras, makeup, hair, veil, shoes, rings, bridal party gifts, the rehearsal dinner, limos, invites, and anything else that comes along the way. I feel very lucky that both of our parents are able to contribute.
DMcK
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Re: who is paying ???
My parents are paying for their guests at the reception, everything related to my dress, my shower, and they made the deposit for the flowers. FMIL is paying for the honeymoon (considered our wedding gift), the rehersal dinner, her guests at the reception, and the balance of the flowers. FH and I are paying for our guests at the reception and the rest of the vendors.
stevejamnik
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Re: who is paying ???
We are paying, for most of the reception, my parents are paying for the DJ, Dress, and the engagement party. His parents are giving a little. His grandmother is helping us with a big chunk of the other stuff and the rest is up to us which is mostly the reception. I am confident it will all work out.
Didn't look that way in the beginning because there was so much fighting with FIL's, because first they expected my parents to pay for everything. Then they were gonna give what my parents gave. End up they didn't even get close to what my parents are helping us with.
SuzBride
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Re: who is paying ???
TMy dad just couldnt get past having to pay for the bigger room, and then like all of their family... between firends and family my list only added to be like 70... there are 213 people on the list... you do the math of # of guests on his side... so my dads number included all of my family me and Fh's friends and like 50 of thier family members... it was up to them... they cover the rest or we cut the list...
This is my problem! FIL's totally vetoed our idea of having an out of state wedding to save $ and their list is huge. They want to invite all these second cousins and like third cousins (who they see once every few years or so - if even!) and work associates - and I am thinking of doing what you did for these folks! Either FIL's pay for these extra folks or they are cut!
sarahbelle
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Re: who is paying ???
FH and I are paying for everything ourselves. His side offered money, but we are not planning on taking any for a while. My parents don't have the money to offer and I don't want them to feel like they have to scrimp. They live out of state and I would rather they spend money on a decent hotel room and clothes for themselves. His family will host the rehersal dinner. I'm fine with the situation as it is. I pay so I get to make all of the decisions. :)
Princessmaris
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Re: who is paying ???
Posted by SuzBride
TMy dad just couldnt get past having to pay for the bigger room, and then like all of their family... between firends and family my list only added to be like 70... there are 213 people on the list... you do the math of # of guests on his side... so my dads number included all of my family me and Fh's friends and like 50 of thier family members... it was up to them... they cover the rest or we cut the list...
This is my problem! FIL's totally vetoed our idea of having an out of state wedding to save $ and their list is huge. They want to invite all these second cousins and like third cousins (who they see once every few years or so - if even!) and work associates - and I am thinking of doing what you did for these folks! Either FIL's pay for these extra folks or they are cut!
SInce my family is so small, 2nd 3rd 4th cousins who knows, we only got eachother, I invited only family that we associate with no matter what cousin they were to me...
His mother didnt see it that way at first if she was gonna cut the list down to 1st cousins, then I should too... and I was like I only have 28 family members as it is... Im not cutting anything...
It was hard..I was so stressed...I was ready to just elope..haha then one day she came and said what do u want..??? a smaller room, and us to cut our list, or the bigger room, and everything stays the same... I said Id perfer that everyone gets to invite who they wanted... but If the money wasnt there, then we'd see what our other options were... luckily she said well we want you guys to have what you want so we'll pick up the rest :)
Its a hard thing to say...but if you dont have the money and they want them there...they have to help you...
SomethingBlu
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Re: who is paying ???
110% fi and myself...our family's poor...
AlliNMatt06
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Re: who is paying ???
My parents are paying for the reception,flowers,dress,veil,shower, and maybe invitations and favors. His parents haven't offered anything but, they are giving us a rehearsal dinner at their house and they may pay for the ceremony. All I know is all my money from now till June 25, 2006 is for the wedding.
DanielleBride
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Re: who is paying ???
FH and I are paying for it ourselves. So we figure that between rent, car payments, insurance, credit card payments and child care expenses for our daughter this next year will be entirely overtime. So we'll see each other again at the wedding...lol.
tanielle5k
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Re: who is paying ???
After we got engaged we decided that we had no expectations that anyone should pay for anything. If they offered, we would be appreciative and grateful of course, but we did not bring it up, or ask or make a big deal out of it. Low and behold both of our sets of parents have been amazingly generous. We are very lucky, couldnt ask for anything more.
nov2004bride
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Re: who is paying ???
My parents paid for everything except photography, the church expenses, and the RD dinner and invites for RD.
