Who is paying ?

Original post by cormican

Jun 06, 2002 07:05 AM

Who is paying for what for your weddings? In these days of non tradition and high cost for weddings how is everyone doing it? What is your wedding going to cost you? How did you start your realistic budgets? Thanks

jpsgirl Posted: Jun 06, 2002 10:26 AM

Re: Who is paying ?

Reading all these posts makes me realize how lucky I am - My dad is paying for the entire reception, which comes to about 20K with tax and grat for 200 people at 80p/p. FH father is actually going to pay 5K toward that. We are paying for limo's, flowers, dresses, photog/video, favors, honeymoon, etc. My mom is also paying for my shower. (and these are peopl who do not have a lot of money, which is why I stress how lucky I am). For jeanene, we have a joint savings and although I put much more into it then him bc I make more, we don't really count who puts in what, we just look at the total.

Sonicstef Posted: Jun 06, 2002 10:38 AM

Re: Who is paying ?

To make everyone really sick - don't use your net income to make a percentage - use your gross!

The wedding is about 30% of our net. But more like 50% of our gross!

That really is gross!

Karen62794 Posted: Jun 06, 2002 11:05 AM

Re: Who is paying ?

My parents are paying about 75%, his mom is paying about 20%. My FH and I are paying the honeymoon, rings, and any 'extras' that we need, like makeovers and spa treatments, bridal party gifts, etc.

Karen

Niecey Posted: Jun 06, 2002 12:24 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

Paying for it ourselves too and wouldn't want it any other way. Wedding and honeymoon.

We opened a wedding account when we got engaged and put as much as we can in it a month. He puts in more than I do but I also pay the rent and phone and cable and other household bills.

My mom did pay for my gown and veil. I didn't want her to (I know she can't afford it) but she insists. I am going to try to pay for her gown in return...let's see if she let's me.

chmlengr Posted: Jun 06, 2002 12:46 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

My husband paid for the enitre wedding (see exceptions below). It was an agreement we had - he thought the money I made was better spent paying off my credit cards that were accumulating 8-21% interest and school loans than saving it and only making 2% on interest in the bank. So he saved for it (we were engaged for 17 months!) and also used his tax return to help out.

He was right. I am about 3 months away from being entirely debt free, like he is. Nothing was put on credit cards for the wedding - it was paid for entirely in cash. By the end of the summer, neither of us wil have debt to pay off. I paid for the limos and Church/music fees, and all wedding day tips. but I paid that off with the money we got as gifts.

Now, we did have some help. Our table centerpieces were included in our reception hall package, and my mom paid for the bouquets and boutenierres and corsages. My mom also bought my dress. I paid for alterations and all accessories. His parents paid for our honeymoon, which probably wouldn't have been as nice and long as if we had to do it ourselves.

We already own a house, so it is nice to both be working at good paying jobs, have no debt and only have to pay a mortgage. If only it seemed that good!!

jgandg Posted: Jun 06, 2002 01:50 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

We are 100% (hence my wish to keep it all under $10,000!!)

tarakinspa Posted: Jun 06, 2002 02:44 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

I agree stef that is gross lol

We are paying for our wedding,

other than my parents buying my $200 dress, and his parents are paying for a croatian band that we really didnt need with the DJ...thats why they are paying for it cause I wouldnt haha.

cormican Posted: Jun 06, 2002 05:03 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

Wow it is great to know that I am not alone. We are paying for 100% too. I think we will enjoy it even more because we are paying for it. It is a great accomplishment. It also makes you realize what really is important. It brings us back to reality.

JennRenee Posted: Jun 06, 2002 05:14 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

We paid for 100% of ours, and were proud to be able to do so. My parents paid for my bachelor's degree, so I couldn't imagine asking them to give me another dime.

As far as Pat and I splitting the cost, we pooled our incomes as soon as we got engaged, so everything was paid for with 'our' money (in cash, which was great... no debt!).

michele31 Posted: Jun 06, 2002 05:39 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

What is hard for me is the fact that almost every one of my friends had a lot of help for their parents. None of them are ungratiful or rub it in but they do make comments like 'Your parents are getting off pretty cheap' or 'Doesn't it upset you that they are not helping more'. And the truth is that it does. But I also recognize the fact that I have control over my plans and I have said many a time 'When you pay you get have your way. But since I am paying it will be my way' So there is a trade off either way.

angie3 Posted: Jun 06, 2002 05:45 PM

Michele31..

I think it is horrible, rude and mean that anyone would say that to you. Nobody knows anyone else's circumstances or reasons for doing the things they do. We are getting help from our families but I would love to have been able to do everything ourselves just because i get a real sense of accomplishment from doing things solo. I am grateful for everything our parents are doing (truthfully we couldn't have done it without them) and so far they haven't been pushy about anything at all. Happily everyone's vision of a wedding seems to be coinciding nicely! I would be so proud of doing everything on my own though. It's quite an accomplishment. Just remember a lot of people are jealous of not only the freedom you have but also about the fact that you are responsible enough and smart enough to do it on your own! Good luck with everything!

yabbobay Posted: Jun 06, 2002 05:49 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

my mother had always said to me that they were paying for my college, so don't expect money for a wedding...so I was shocked when they offered us a big percentage...and am VERY appreciative...and am lucky that my mom id letting me do my own thing (even though I don't think she got all her way at her own wedding :( )

Stef...I never calculated our net incomes...UGH!! We pay $61,000 in taxes and what nots!!! how could that be? I am dumbfounded...so in that case our wedding is more than 50% of our net salaries...

now I need something else to make me feel better

Marnles Posted: Jun 06, 2002 07:15 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

Well, FHs mom gave us a little, which was generous of her to do, being what tradition dictates. Then FH spoke with his father about money, cause his Dad is loaded and didn't offer anything (I wasnt surprised, I am a little sour about him). But when he brought it up, my FFIL offered to give us our gift in advance, which I have to admit, although it pains me, is EXTREMELY generous. So although it's helping out with the wedding, and we will have no debt, we will not be receiving a gift technically, which is fine.

My mom is broke. There is no other way to put it. She insisted on buying my dress, which she can't afford, but gave me the cold shoulder when I told her it was too much. I will be buying my veil/headpiece without her knowledge, and will just keep blowing the topic off! I will buy her her makeup and hair the day of.

My FH and I have been saving since the day we got engaged. We will be engaged about 20 months before we are married, which worked out really great. We're just about done saving for the wedding, and we still have 6 months, so the rest we save goes towards the house fund. We still maintain separate checking and savings accout, but we put our money into a CD (short-term), and add to it everytime it's up for renewal. Good luck!!

cooky11111 Posted: Jun 06, 2002 08:03 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

100% US!!

christy Posted: Jun 06, 2002 09:23 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

we are paying 100% too, glad I am not alone. We have sooo much student loan debt too from college, law school and grad school that I am pretty sure I will never own a house on long island!

DeniseMang Posted: Jun 07, 2002 02:28 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

We paid for the wedding ourselves also with some help ($2k) from our parents. My Mom also gave me 1/2 of the cost of my wedding gown. However, they shocked us by giving us $7K for our wedding gift (3K from my parents and 4K from his). I gues they were saving up to give us a nice gift which was very sweet. Neither of our parents really have it. We were not in debt, saved up over 20 months and had just enough. So everything worked out and with all the gifts we received, we ended up only paid about $4K for our wedding! P.S. We figured out the wedding costed us 22K. Pretty average for NY, right.

jlf41 Posted: Jun 08, 2002 09:19 AM

Re: Who is paying ?

I wish I could say that we were paying for it ourselves! I always imagined I would, especially since we are not young (28). However, I am in med school and make nothing- actually I make negative $50,000 a year (now that is sick!) And my FH is a NYC police officer so her pretty much makes in the negative too My parents said they were paying for college for my sister and I and then we were on our own, which was such an amazing gift. But the reality now is, my parents and my FH's parents are each paying for about 40% and we are making up the other 20%. I feel a little guilty about it, but very grateful! And everyone has been hands off, letting us make our own decisions. I hate thinking about the money- let's get back to the fun stuf!!

dandj Posted: Jun 08, 2002 09:58 AM

Re: Who is paying ?

We are very lucky because my parents offered to pay for the reception. My FH mom is paying for the rehearsal dinner and the bagpipers at the reception. We are paying for everything else (honeymoon, video, photo, dj, rings, flowers, etc). I admire everyone paying on their own..... we would of had to have a three year engagement to save to afford everything and I'm going pretty middle of the road with everything.

melissa27 Posted: Jun 09, 2002 12:14 AM

Re: Who is paying ?

My parents are paying for about 50% (my dress and most of the reception) and we are paying for the rest. We started a 'wedding account' right away (Aug. 2000) but really have a hard time saving money!! It's virtually impossible to save when your living expenses exceed your salary!! My FH is in med school, which puts us about $150,000 in the hole, I am paying for half of my undergrad as well as ALL of my grad school, plus we live together so there's rent, car payments, insurance....you know the deal. It stinks. I feel like I will NEVER be out of debt!!!! It's such a horrible feeling. I am a teacher and make next to nothing up here in Rochester, however the rent is cheap so I really can't complain. Okay, now I'm babbling. I admire all of you who are paying for the entire wedding yourselves!!! Way to go!

susanlynn Posted: Jun 09, 2002 10:54 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

we r paying for everyhting except his moms friends and the wedding party is paying for there attire.. Both my parents are deceased and his parents are divorced and do not talk,. We are trying to get the best value for our money and shopping around early (wedding is in 2004) but prices go up next year so if we secure the vendors the price is secured. By next year at this time we want to be able to just worry about making payments and picking out dresses and flowers. But we are paying 100% also!!!