Who is paying ?

Original post by cormican

Jun 06, 2002 07:05 AM

Who is paying for what for your weddings? In these days of non tradition and high cost for weddings how is everyone doing it? What is your wedding going to cost you? How did you start your realistic budgets? Thanks

Buttafli1277 Posted: Jun 09, 2002 11:14 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

I admire all of you paying yourselves. I just graduated with my MA so I was working p/t and going to school f/t. I'm looking for a f/t job now so I can start saving. FH is a NYC police officer, and like someone else said they don't pay a great deal. He will be going to Port Authority PD soon so that will help alot.

As for who is paying... My parents are paying for the hall and my dress. FH mom is paying for everything else (flowers, photographer, DJ and videographer)

We are paying for our rings, ceremony music, invitations, honeymoon and all the extras. I'm also paying for my veil and headpiece.

aug9bride Posted: Jun 10, 2002 07:13 AM

Re: Who is paying ?

We are paying for almost everything. My parents bought my dress and they have given us some cash to use on whatever we wanted. But we are picking up most of the tab.

ss2002 Posted: Jun 10, 2002 09:08 AM

Re: Who is paying ?

My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. It's a little nerve wracking, but in the end, we're sure everything will come together. Planning and budgeting ourselves has given us a chance to practice for managing our finances when we are married.

boosh78201 Posted: Jun 13, 2002 04:10 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

My Parents: Hall, Photographer, Videographer, DJ and Flowers

His Parents: Limos, Rehearsal Dinner, shower

Us: Favors, Invitations, Wedding Bands, My dress, and our co-op

JodiBabe Posted: Jun 18, 2002 09:23 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

My FH & I are paying for the wedding ourselves. His parents told him that they would help out but to what extent that is we are not sure.

cormican Posted: Jun 18, 2002 09:26 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

Jodi- I heard that one from my FILs before. They haven't given us anything except a list of their friends and co-workers to invite.

JodiBabe Posted: Jun 18, 2002 09:55 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

They haven't given us anything yet but I'm sure they will. They are the sweetest people and very generous. FH is their only son and the baby. They have given us any advice, lists or demands. They are doing as they should and letting us do things our way. Unlike some of my family.

lilmrs Posted: Jun 18, 2002 11:29 PM

x

J&A Posted: Jun 21, 2002 01:09 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

My Fiance and I are paying 100% of the wedding. Unfortunately, both of our parents are not in a position to pay. My parents are older and retired with 4 children. They feel that it's not fair to to do for one child if you can't do it for all four and I agree totally. My Fiance's parents are on the opposite end of the spectrum. His parents are on the young side and are still paying a mortage, etc. Both sets of parents have expressed that if they could, they would pay for our wedding in a heartbeat. After all is said and done, I will feel extremely proud that my Fiance and I were able to save and pay for a wonderful day!

Bluebaby08 Posted: Jun 21, 2002 08:55 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

When my parents said they would give us $15k, my FIL told my FH that wasn't enough. Also that the bride's parents are suppose to pay for everything. It's taken alot of arguing to convince him otherwise. We've been engaged for less than 3 mths, and we decided that after the engagement party (july 13) that we would sit down and discuss budget. We're gonna try to save and pay for most of it so we can do what we want.

JodiBabe Posted: Jun 21, 2002 09:05 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

It is very frustrating to hear all the stories. My FH & I have just gone with the assumption that no one is giving anything towards wedding. That way we can plan it as we want it & if anyone does give toward it then that is just a bonus for us. Put towards honeymoon!

Jodi

michele31 Posted: Jun 21, 2002 11:33 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

Bluebaby- what is up with your FILs? I mean $15K is a very generous amount. That covers your hall and maybe some other stuff too. I think your FILs are being very unfair to you and your parents. Your FH really thought that your parents should give more? We would be jumping up and down for joy if my parents made that offer, or even a 1/3 of that.

taraalissa Posted: Jun 22, 2002 03:03 AM

Re: Who is paying ?

Let's see-

My mother and her husband are paying for:

Ceremony
Dress
Rabbi
Flowers

FH's Parents-

Videographer
Photographer

The rest is all us.

By the way, for those of you who have your parents or your FH's parents paying for their own guests...i'm jealous. My FIL's are inviting about 35 people and not paying for them. I didn't even realize that I should be angry about that until I read some of these posts, and felt my self getting angry. Not to mention that my FMIL is inviting more people to my shower than I am, forcing my mother to hold it in a less expensive place than she was going to, and no, FMIL is not chipping in.

Vent over

rvcpl Posted: Jun 25, 2002 04:21 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

I just read your posts and I feel so much better! I have gotten the 'sure we'll contribute' from my FIL but am still waiting to see a dime. The only comment they have about the wedding is that 'everything is so expensive'! I live in the DC area the weddings here are very different. I've been engaged for 6 months now and have been trying to set up a meeting with the parents to figure this out without success. Now it turns out me and FH will have to shell out $$ too which is fine but we were not prepared to do so. We have a year to go so I'm sure it will work out but it's so frustrating!

I totally admire all of you who are doing it on your own!

Samanthas Mom Posted: Jun 25, 2002 04:40 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

I paid myself for the majority of photo/video
which was expensive
my mom is paying for the hall and about 800 of the photography that I couldnt scrimp for and his mom is doing flowers and the DJ
My FI paid for the limo and we split the honeymoon
he paid for his tux and my mom paid for my dress and invitations and postage
she really did most of everything, I was lucky

michele31 Posted: Jun 25, 2002 04:52 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

I am trying to figure out a way to get over being upset that my parents are not doing more. Honestly I am the ONLY one of my close friends that is paying for her own wedding. Everyone else had their parents pay for the reception and their dress. My Dad and stepmom are paying for my outfit and my mom is only paying for our harpist. I was pretty upset over that to be honest. I guess I was hoping that they would help us with the flower costs or something. The FILs (divorced, very little income) haven't even mentioned anything including the RD. His Dad never even said congrats so I am not holding my breath. BUt I cannot really be mad or even upset when my own family is not doing much.
BUt they are paying for their friends to be invited or else they were not going to be invited. That was pretty simple. Just a vent.

Samanthas Mom Posted: Jun 25, 2002 05:22 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

MICHELE
we are not having a RD, they have not mentioned it or dont want too, lol
but it is not common in the jewish religion to have one anyway, so I do not mind toomuch
although it would have been nice to have one :) to give out the gifts

taraalissa Posted: Jun 25, 2002 07:45 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

Hey Michele,

Don't feel bad. My father is paying for NOTHING (my parents are divorced). My mother called him yesterday to ask him to chip in for the rabbi, he told her yes, and then called me to yell at me because she did that. I didn't actually answer the phone, but I could tell by the tone of his voice on the message. I am ready to tell him to not even come. I mean he offered to pay for nothing, and my mother asks for a lousy few hundred dollars because he will be standing under the chuppah also and he freaks! What's up with that! Can you imagine anyone would be so selfish?

LisaT Posted: Jun 25, 2002 07:59 PM

Re: Who is paying ?

We paid for about 75% of our wedding ourselves. My parents paid for my dress, jewelry, hair & makup and gave us money towards the reception and hosted a brunch the day following the wedding. They also picked up little things like the table cameras and bubbles.

My in-laws paid for the rehersal dinner, they bought my husbands tux and gave a similiar amount towards the reception. (When his sisters got married they paid for their entire guest list, but they couldn't do that for us since our plate was double the price of his sisters'). My MIL also did all the alterations for my mom and bridal party (including making the flowergirl dresses).

My parents always told me they'd pay for college, and we'd be responsible for the wedding (they paid for their own wedding as well), so I'm grateful for all they did.

While I was going through it and scrimping and saving, I remember wishing they'd give us more (especially when I had friends who had the whole thing paid for by parents). But now that its over (and all paid for), I feel a great satisfaction in knowing we were able to pull it all together. And its great to know we can save that much in such a short time frame (we were engaged less than a year).