why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

He leaves me these morning messages like he used to when we were together only in these he is asking for me back, he realizes he made a mistake blah blah.

Is it wrong and horrible of me to want nothing to do with him. I mean part of it is that I did meet a greta guy that I am enjoying my time with but even if that wasnt the case, I know in my heart it is over.

Part of me feels bad b/c he is my husband but a big part of me says I tried everything I could in that short time to try and make it work...

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

You have every right to feel the way you do. You probably know deep down that it's not going to be easy for your husband to change his ways, and do you really want to deal with the emotional rollercoaster?
On the other hand, you've seen what's out there and how you should be treated. You should be proud of yourself for being strong.

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

I don't believe it is wrong for you to feel the way you do...He is your husband & all but that is more reason to feel the way you do...Your husband hurt you beyond the limits...Even if you did not meet this great guy, you still would feel this way...You have detached yourself from your husband due to the hurt & you are 100% right...You gave him a chance to work things out & he turned his back...NOw that he knows it is officially going to be over, he is rethinking it or he could be messing with your mind thinking you will come back....

Just keep your head up & think of all the fun you are having & how better off you are without the stress of your husband's problems on your back...He does not deserve you & you need to remember that every time he calls

Hope this helps...

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

Kristi, I understand how you are feeling but I agree w/ the above post that only after you left him did he realize he has a problem and wants to fix things. Just remember that whatever you choose to do, he could help himself for the time being and go back to his old ways later. That would hurt even more. I am just wondering why he didn't want to help himself in the beginning when you were there to help him. Good luck!!!!!!! You are a strong girl!

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

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Posted by kissy27

I don't believe it is wrong for you to feel the way you do...He is your husband & all but that is more reason to feel the way you do...Your husband hurt you beyond the limits...Even if you did not meet this great guy, you still would feel this way...You have detached yourself from your husband due to the hurt & you are 100% right...You gave him a chance to work things out & he turned his back...NOw that he knows it is officially going to be over, he is rethinking it or he could be messing with your mind thinking you will come back....

Just keep your head up & think of all the fun you are having & how better off you are without the stress of your husband's problems on your back...He does not deserve you & you need to remember that every time he calls

Hope this helps...

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I think this pretty much sums it up! Just stay on the path you are on - you are an amazing woman.

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

You have to trust your instincts....you have seen the path he is on and is that what you really want to choose? I think you are doing GREAT now. It seems like you know you shouldn't get back with him and of course, it hurts. But looking back someday you'll see that you made the right decision. Trust what your gut says.

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

You are so happy now. It is not your responsiblity to fit the ex back into your life. He should have thought long and hard about his decision to get married.

Enjoy your Yankee man! Leave the ex in the gutter. Make your life about you, not him!

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

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Posted by WeddingsRock

You are so happy now. It is not your responsiblity to fit the ex back into your life. He should have thought long and hard about his decision to get married.

Enjoy your Yankee man! Leave the ex in the gutter. Make your life about you, not him!

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well said..........

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

I agree with everyone else has said.
Your DH should be thinking about getting better and changing his life right now then worry about a relationship with you.

As you've said in previous posts your town is small and he may have heard about you dating and this could all be his way of seeing if he can still get you back.

IMO until he discusses changes his lifestyle (drinking, partying, etc) there would be no talk of getting back togther.

Stay strong - you're doing amazing!!

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

Has he gone to meetings yet?

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

Do not give in, he's trying to confuse you. Maybe he heard you were dating and he's reacting to that by trying to see if he can get you back. Just give it time, do not jump back to him so soon, you were doing so much better and I think you need more time for yourself to at least work out your true feelings, but continue to date have fun and do not promise anything to your EX who couldn't keep his promises.

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

I just wanted to add that I agree that you need to make sure you're happy and don't worry about him so much. This is going to take time for you and it will be difficult for a while, but in the end you'll be much happier if you put yourself first.

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

I can't give any better advice than what you've seen on here. Stay strong, focused and never give up faith in yourself...

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

You tried so hard to fix the marriage, and now you have to keep doing what makes you happy. It's too bad that he's feeling this way, but hopefully he will take care of himself now.

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

Don't feel bad...you tried to work things out. Accept your happiness. You deserve it!

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

Have you talked to him?? Tell him that if he wants any type of relationship in the future, whether it be friends or more, he needs to back off. Tell him he really hurt you and you really have no feelings for him at this point in your life. Tell him how he pushed you away so far, for so long, that right now you just want your space. I'm so sorry Kristi!!

Re: why is it when i finally have a smile on my face, my husband has to call me...

I agree with the other girls. He has to work out his own issues before he can begin to rebuild a relationship with you. Stay strong and have fun!