Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Original post by Janice

Mar 30, 2005 04:25 PM

DH and I were forced to have vehicular sex. We would park at the beach, in orange fields, behind buildings..not the safest places. And on special occasions we would go to a seedy hotel Our parents knew we were doing it and did not allow it to take place in their homes. To me this is foolish. I want my kids safe.

RedHead Posted: Mar 31, 2005 12:35 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by Bunnymonkey

i will give them privacy if they are over 16 and in a 'realtionship.' What they do is up to them - I will trust that my boys and girls will have heeded my advice on waiting for the right person and protection - but I won't try to control them after this age.

I had too much unsafe sex in cars, woods, and seedy motels - even after I was out of college and home visiting! No way do I want that for my kids.

FH and I are not allowed to sleep in the same room when we are at my parents - I respect their rules, but we see them less than his parents - who have made the guest room 'ours' and we are allowed to do what we please in there.

you would let a 16 year old have sex in your house ???

Janice Posted: Mar 31, 2005 12:39 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by Bunnymonkey

i will give them privacy if they are over 16 and in a 'realtionship.' What they do is up to them - I will trust that my boys and girls will have heeded my advice on waiting for the right person and protection - but I won't try to control them after this age.

I had too much unsafe sex in cars, woods, and seedy motels - even after I was out of college and home visiting! No way do I want that for my kids.

FH and I are not allowed to sleep in the same room when we are at my parents - I respect their rules, but we see them less than his parents - who have made the guest room 'ours' and we are allowed to do what we please in there.

great points!! My kids' safety will be my #1 priority, and I want them to come to me with any issues, how are you sending that message if they are seeking around looking for dark alleys?

ETA: I also will need the consent from my child's partners parents, at least until they are 18(I meant 18)

RedHead Posted: Mar 31, 2005 12:57 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by Janice

I also will need the consent from my child's partners parents, at least until they are 16

OH COME ON NOW...that Is RIDICULOUS!

ETA: just because YOU are that open doesn't mean that the other persons parents will be...so where does that leave your 16 year old? back to the seedy dark lots

that was silly

and what kind of consent...are you going to draw up a written doncument on your child having sex?

Janice Posted: Mar 31, 2005 12:59 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by RedHead

Posted by Janice

I also will need the consent from my child's partners parents, at least until they are 16

OH COME ON NOW...that Is RIDICULOUS!

what is ridiculous is you laughing at me.

RedHead Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:00 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by Janice

Posted by RedHead

Posted by Janice

I also will need the consent from my child's partners parents, at least until they are 16

OH COME ON NOW...that Is RIDICULOUS!

what is ridiculous is you laughing at me.

not really...it was funny
and your comment was completey unrealistic

marymoon Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:01 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by Janice

wow is everyone that shocked at the 'boys can but girls can't' choice? How many of you would go to your boyfriends house when you were in high school, rather than your own parents home? Boys that I went to high school with had so much more freedom than girls.

YEP. From whenw e first started dating (At 16 or 17) FH and I were allowed to sleep in the same bed. We usually slept in the rollout couch bed in the living room, so we didn't have rivacy, but they didn't bother us either..and when FH started college (18) we were allowed to sleep in his bed in his room. We never had sex when they were home thos (except 1 time in the bathroom..lol) but mostly b/c his door had no lock and we didn't want to be walked in on..

Also Janice, at my house, we all had to sit in the living room too. Fh is allowed in my room now, but the door has to be open and he can't be on my bed (even just sitting)...I have strict parents.

marymoon Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:03 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Red, I don't think it's that ridiculous. My FH's parents really let us do what we want..and we were 16. They were even more lassez faire when we were 18+. They figured we're gonna have sex anyway, so it doesn't matter. they actualy thought we were having sex long before we actually did.

And the other parent's consent thing is interesting. Obviousl the other parents has to consent to let the partner sleep over at all..but my FH;s mom knew I was telling my parents we were sleeping in the separate rooms...

RedHead Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:06 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by marymoon

Red, I don't think it's that ridiculous. My FH's parents really let us do what we want..and we were 16. They were even more lassez faire when we were 18+. They figured we're gonna have sex anyway, so it doesn't matter. they actualy thought we were having sex long before we actually did.

And the other parent's consent thing is interesting. Obviousl the other parents has to consent to let the partner sleep over at all..but my FH;s mom knew I was telling my parents we were sleeping in the separate rooms...

getting consent from another persons parents about them having sex in a house is ridiculous on sooo many levels

marymoon Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:08 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by RedHead

Posted by marymoon

Red, I don't think it's that ridiculous. My FH's parents really let us do what we want..and we were 16. They were even more lassez faire when we were 18+. They figured we're gonna have sex anyway, so it doesn't matter. they actualy thought we were having sex long before we actually did.

And the other parent's consent thing is interesting. Obviousl the other parents has to consent to let the partner sleep over at all..but my FH;s mom knew I was telling my parents we were sleeping in the separate rooms...

getting consent from another persons parents about them having sex in a house is ridiculous on sooo many levels

Yeah I don't really know if you can really get consent on that one, but I think you kind of know if the other parents are giving implict conesnt. usually if they'll letting the kids sleep over together in the first place, it's a form of implict consent.

Jan05Bride Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:09 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

I really don't think anyone should be involved in their childs sex life. I think we can try to teach them facts, biology, religon and morals and hope that the decisions they make are the right ones for them.
Calling a parent to ask permission that their child has sex in your house is a little ridiculous and unrealistic, but that's my opinion and if that's what works for you all the more power to you.

Janice Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:13 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by Jan05Bride

Calling a parent to ask permission that their child has sex in your house is a little ridiculous and unrealistic, but that's my opinion and if that's what works for you all the more power to you.

thanks for your respectful response. I would not necessarily be calling the other parents to see if its okay that their kid has sex in my home. I would let them know that I have no problem with giving my teen privacy in his or her room.

Jan05Bride Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:17 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by Janice

thanks for your respectful response. I would not necessarily be calling the other parents to see if its okay that their kid has sex in my home. I would let them know that I have no problem with giving my teen privacy in his or her room.

I had a boyfriend who's mother was like that. My mother didn't allow me near the house
The thing is, it's not just you allowing your child, it's the other child and their parents that are involved ... put it this way, if your son is 18 and his GF is 16, the parents have your son arrested for statuatory rape. And if you 'allowed' it in your home, you could be an accomplice I would think ... It's tricky.

RedHead Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:37 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by marymoon

Yeah I don't really know if you can really get consent on that one, but I think you kind of know if the other parents are giving implict conesnt. usually if they'll letting the kids sleep over together in the first place, it's a form of implict consent.

I have to say i still disagree. I really don't think that the parents really 'know' each other to think that way. It is an assumption that could really get you in trouble and cause more problems

AND what if the parents are AGAINST IT...which most probably are. Then where does that leave you? Still allowing your child to have sex in your house KNOWING that the other parents object!

AND if one of them is older than 18 ...OMG
you are asking for A LOT of trouble!

bxgell2 Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:45 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

My first inclination was EUUUUW, but thinking about it again, I think I would follow in my parents footsteps, and say yes. When I was in high school, my parents GAVE me condoms and lectured me on safe sex (even though I wasn't having any until College!) and they let me have my boyfriend sleep over on occasion at the house, as long as I let them know. We never had sex, but I know for a fact that my parents though I WAS having sex with him at the time, and they were fine with it. Thinking about it more, I would prefer, if I had a daughter, that she would bring someone to OUR home, rather than risk life and limb by sneaking out to places with boys, where things can get out of control.

Janice Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:48 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

My mom was open to me being put on BC and suggested it since I was 16. I did not have sex until I was 20. Because you have an open relationship with your kids does not mean they are going to have sex. If other parent does not like the idea of my kid's privacy, well then I guess that is okay. I guess that parent will have to have a talk to their kid and tell them not to be over at my house. If my daughter is 18 and her boyfriend is 16, I guess I will have to gamble with the legal consequences. at 18 you would be going to college anyway, so that would limit the occurances taking place in my home

RedHead Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:57 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by Janice

My mom was open to me being put on BC and suggested it since I was 16. I did not have sex until I was 20.

because she didn't want you to have an uplanned pregnancy...

Janice Posted: Mar 31, 2005 01:58 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by RedHead

Posted by Janice

My mom was open to me being put on BC and suggested it since I was 16. I did not have sex until I was 20.

because she didn't want you to have an uplanned pregnancy...

that was not my point. Just because you provide a safe place for your teen to be alone with their SO, does not mean that sex will take place.

RedHead Posted: Mar 31, 2005 02:04 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by Janice

Posted by RedHead

Posted by Janice

My mom was open to me being put on BC and suggested it since I was 16. I did not have sex until I was 20.

because she didn't want you to have an uplanned pregnancy...

that was not my point. Just because you provide a safe place for your teen to be alone with their SO, does not mean that sex will take place.

EH?

You talked about birth control not about safe places in that statement

AND you made it out that your parents didn't want you to have sex in their house hence vehicular sex (terminology i find HYSTERICAL)...

So in essence..prevention of sex in the home also has no bearing on whether sex will happen ...

so now i am confused

bxgell2 Posted: Mar 31, 2005 02:05 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

that was not my point. Just because you provide a safe place for your teen to be alone with their SO, does not mean that sex will take place.

I totally agree with Janice. In my experience I've found that my friends with the more open and liberal parents were less inclined to have sex at an early age, and those with parents who absolutely FORBID them and treated sex as if it was something dirty, were much more inclined to start experimenting. Like I said, my parents handed me and my brothers each a box of condoms when we were around 16, and had a LOOOONG talk with us about sex. I remember my mom talking to me about how sex is beautiful and wonderful, but should be reserved for someone you really care about, and that they would never be mad at me for what I do, but that they hoped that I would only do things that made me comfortable. My parents were tremendously open, and I didn't start having sex until I was in college, and that wasn't until I was in a serious relationship. I never did anything with anyone I ever regretted, and though I may have other issues , sex is not one of them, and I thank my parent's openness and liberality for that!

Janice Posted: Mar 31, 2005 02:12 PM

Re: Wiil your kids be able to have sex at home?

Posted by RedHead

AND you made it out that your parents didn't want you to have sex in their house hence vehicular sex (terminology i find HYSTERICAL)...