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Would You.....?

JoanneAndJustin Posted:

Would You.....?

Post a thread like this:

Calling off Engagement

If you were actually calling off the engagement? Or would you simply disappear from LIW? These threads always kind of creep me out... IMO, it is as if the poster wants validation of her FHs sh!tty behavior.

I know I wouldn't post a thread like this to LIW (either in BHB or 2010) jf Justin and I were to call things off... I'd just leave. It's such a private matter I wouldn't want to put it out there like that. If people asked me I might tell them privately, but I wouldn't ask for advice from a bunch of strangers.

Just wondering what you all think of it. I use the most recent thread as an example, but not to single the poster out just to show what kind of thread I am talking about.
SummerBride10 Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

What gets me is most girls that post things like that make up a new name to post how they're calling off the engagement...so its not like they're 'saying goodbye' to the boards or anything. I don't tend to post alot of 'deep issues' on here, for the same reason- its a private matter.

FutureMrsKuehne Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

i think that because she said she is still having a probelm coming to terms with the fact of actually leaving, she may be looking for that confirmation from other women that shes been able to talk to thus far.

i know that in those types of situations not everyone has the same level of self-esteem, or will power to be able to just walk away and know they should be doing it. she seems to think that his apology actually means something, n may be considering staying because of it.

personally, no i wouldn't post it, its way to private and shes not even sure if shes leaving yet...because then if she DOES stay with him, and shes still on here posting about her wedding a month of so from now, it is just going to look silly because everyone will be thinking about his trustworthiness, etc.
jayepyt Posted:

Re: Would You.....?


Posted by FutureMrsKuehne

i think that because she said she is still having a probelm coming to terms with the fact of actually leaving, she may be looking for that confirmation from other women that shes been able to talk to thus far.

i know that in those types of situations not everyone has the same level of self-esteem, or will power to be able to just walk away and know they should be doing it. she seems to think that his apology actually means something, n may be considering staying because of it.

personally, no i wouldn't post it, its way to private and shes not even sure if shes leaving yet...because then if she DOES stay with him, and shes still on here posting about her wedding a month of so from now, it is just going to look silly because everyone will be thinking about his trustworthiness, etc.

ita coudnt have said it better
stinenandy2010 Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

if yours questioning your engagement that intensely then you should call it off.....but if that were to ever happen to me, i wouldn't post it on LIW, something like that i would keep private and just tell my closest friends and family.

LaurenJosh Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

No, I would never post about something that private. Also I think its weird that it was her one and only post on here.

JoanneAndJustin Posted:

Re: Would You.....?


Posted by stinenandy2010

if yours questioning your engagement that intensely then you should call it off.....but if that were to ever happen to me, i wouldn't post it on LIW, something like that i would keep private and just tell my closest friends and family.



Exactly. I would need to make that kind of decision for myself. I wouldn't want a bunch of virtual 'strangers' (2010 girls excluded) nosing into my business.
MrsC2010 Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

i would probably just let anyone on here that i had become close with know...but privately not through a thread....and then kinda just disappear...

Nichole2010 Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

i think i would atleaast so goodbye to everyone!!

i dont understand why they dont post under their real name...sometimes i think they are fake
mosh424 Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

I was thinking the same thing! That is crazy, I would def. come on the site maybe a month or so later and say a goodbye to all you girls

grrulz Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

this is def not the first type of thread like that i'ts been a couple since i joined i personally won't post things that private on the boards, but sometimes people just don't know where else to go and it might be helpful for them...i don't know!! I just hope everything works out for her and if someone questions engagement it is usually because they are not ready!

bubberflys Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

I've probably posted what a few people may take as 'personal' issues on the boards, but nothing nearly as serious as that. It could be that it is her way of thinking it through or reaching out for any advice or attention she may be needing right now. Noone here really knows what her exact friend/family situation is like.

Either way, however, the making of a fake name disturbs me, If you don't want people to know it is you or you're not willing to take ownership to the post maybe it's not appropriate to post.
Jna2010 Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

i wouldnt ever post, but i could see why others would.... its a lot easier getting an opinion for face value from people that dont know anything about you

Kiki1103 Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

No, I would not post something like that, I would leave it to my family and close friends for support. Just me, but I don't think that people who don't fully understand my situation would be able to give me the appropriate advice. I would probably say goodbye to everyone though, without stating a reason as to why I was leaving. JMO

T E R I Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

No, I wouldn't post something like that. I would just let the people that I am close to on here know what is going on and let them know what happened, but i wouldn't publicly broadcast it

AngeeM Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

I just think that it must be a very lonely place to be in when you need to post such personal information like that. And to go so far as to create a fake name?! It really creeps me out and makes me feel so sorry for someone that they would have put so much info out like that. I just think that people should think about some of the stuff that they are posting. A lot of times it's something that should be dealt with on a personal level with those that know you personally.

GonnaBeeMrsG Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

I would never BUT I can see why some girls would. Maybe they are embarrassed to say some of these things to family or friends. As for a fake name I know prob so many ppl so it but I can understand y they don't want to come up front with who they really are.

emc282rjm Posted:

Re: Would You.....?


Posted by GonnaBeeMrsG

I would never BUT I can see why some girls would. Maybe they are embarrassed to say some of these things to family or friends. As for a fake name I know prob so many ppl so it but I can understand y they don't want to come up front with who they really are.



ITA. I think the name change provides anonymity. If she decides to stay, then she isn't going to want people to know that it is her.

Hey, I wouldn't do it. I try to be as careful as possible with what I post on this site, and for me that is just too personal an issue, but I can understand why that might be something that she feels she has to do.
StaceYums81 Posted:

Re: Would You.....?

I may or may not have done this, tough to say since we aren't in that situation. She probably made that name because she doesn't want everyone talking about it. (knowing who she is) these boards are great, and i enjoy hearing everyone's feedback but lets face it, issues like this people can be opinionated and words might hurt...

laurenandmike618 Posted:

Re: Would You.....?


Posted by FutureMrsKuehne

i think that because she said she is still having a probelm coming to terms with the fact of actually leaving, she may be looking for that confirmation from other women that shes been able to talk to thus far.

i know that in those types of situations not everyone has the same level of self-esteem, or will power to be able to just walk away and know they should be doing it. she seems to think that his apology actually means something, n may be considering staying because of it.

personally, no i wouldn't post it, its way to private and shes not even sure if shes leaving yet...because then if she DOES stay with him, and shes still on here posting about her wedding a month of so from now, it is just going to look silly because everyone will be thinking about his trustworthiness, etc.



ITA.

To be quite honest, I'm more bothered that THIS thread was started. Please don't take offense - I think you girls are all great. But why start this thread?? Obviously this girl is going through a lot so I really don't think we should judge. I have NO IDEA what I would do if I were going through something like that and fortunately, 99% of us don't, which is why we are all excitedly posting away about our wedding plans. She probably has nowhere to turn because her family and friends don't know anything, PLUS she definitely seemed like she needed validation to know she was doing the right thing, and we were all glad to give it to her. I'm glad she could talk to SOMEONE about this major issue which is affecting her entire life and future and I never even questioned why she would do it or if I thought it was weird. I swear I'm not trying to lecture here, but I just think we should take a step back and think about what she's going through, and not worry about whether or not it's 'creepy.'

I wish there was a group hug icon... Oh well.

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