My friend just got married last weekend. It was a destination wedding but she had 70 guests. She just told me that 94% of the people did not bring a gift.
Would you take offense or be understanding that they had to pay for airfare and a hotel room?
Dont give the politically correct answer..give your true feelings.
nferrandi
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
WOW! I can't believe how many of you would be insulted. We recently went to our friends wedding in Jamaica and no one gave gifts, except maybe their parents. We spent over $3000 to go their wedding, not to mention time off from work. I think that is MORE than enough money spent on their wedding. We did give a shower gift and at the last minute they decided to have a reception in NY as well and we gave them a gift for that. In all honesty, a lot of people who had gone to Jamaica were insulted that they even had to give a gift at the NY reception. I would never expect gifts from anyone if I asked them to spend all that money on a trip. I guess on mostly on my own here, but that's how I feel.
eogara
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
Posted by nferrandi
WOW! I can't believe how many of you would be insulted. We recently went to our friends wedding in Jamaica and no one gave gifts, except maybe their parents. We spent over $3000 to go their wedding, not to mention time off from work. I think that is MORE than enough money spent on their wedding. We did give a shower gift and at the last minute they decided to have a reception in NY as well and we gave them a gift for that. In all honesty, a lot of people who had gone to Jamaica were insulted that they even had to give a gift at the NY reception. I would never expect gifts from anyone if I asked them to spend all that money on a trip. I guess on mostly on my own here, but that's how I feel.
Definitely!
Of you guys that are or would be offended, would you really rather these people just sent a gift instead of come to the wedding? Because sometimes it's just not possible to do both. I'm just curious as to what your preference would be.
RedHead
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I don't know. From some i would understand and others i wouldn't. I told my BM's not to give us gifts. They are spending A LOT of money for this wedding and i think that it is sooo unfair to have them, on top of everything else, spend money on a gift. Especially my OOT'er!
september2004
Posted:
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
Posted by eogara
Posted by nferrandi
WOW! I can't believe how many of you would be insulted. We recently went to our friends wedding in Jamaica and no one gave gifts, except maybe their parents. We spent over $3000 to go their wedding, not to mention time off from work. I think that is MORE than enough money spent on their wedding. We did give a shower gift and at the last minute they decided to have a reception in NY as well and we gave them a gift for that. In all honesty, a lot of people who had gone to Jamaica were insulted that they even had to give a gift at the NY reception. I would never expect gifts from anyone if I asked them to spend all that money on a trip. I guess on mostly on my own here, but that's how I feel.
Definitely!
Of you guys that are or would be offended, would you really rather these people just sent a gift instead of come to the wedding? Because sometimes it's just not possible to do both. I'm just curious as to what your preference would be.
the three of us look like we are sailing in the same boat...i'm just as curious as you are...
philby
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I really would not be hurt. If people were paying for hotels and airfare to be at my wedding I would understand. They recieved the invitation because I want them there regardless.
nehaliasz
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I would definitely be understanding. It takes a lot for people to go to a destination wedding.
If I was a guest though, I would've given something. Maybe it wouldn't have been much, but I would've definitely given something.
MrsTC
Posted:
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
i'd be understanding....they spent the $ to see me get married and had to pay for flight and hotel etc....it is the couple's decision to have a destination wedding so therefore the guests shouldn't have to go broke to attend! Me personally, I would attend and give a small gift, something for the house etc.
heidla
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I like gifts. I hope that I get some wedding presents, but I am not getting married so that people can buy me gifts. I am asking a lot of my family to come from down south to NYC for my wedding. I think that the best gift is that they are all willing to do this to be a part of my special day. JMO
LovelyL
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I would be understanding. I try to put my self in other people's shoes.....and to be honest if I had to pay for airfare, a hotel.....and possibly take an extra day or so off from work...I simply might not be able to afford a gift as well.
darly
Posted:
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
My sister had alot of friends who came to the US from the UK - I know she didn't expect them to give her gifts b/c of the cost to come here... So I can understand if people paid all the $$ for the trip and didn't give a gift...
FLaCaTaCa
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I have mixed feelings about this....in a way I wish I could be 100% understanding but in another the reality is that I would be hurt and I would lie and use the 'politically correct' answer to anyone who asked. It would hurt a little though. Even a card I would appreciate than just nothing! I know the trip was expensive and all but not even a card....I would be hurt. JMO
