My friend just got married last weekend. It was a destination wedding but she had 70 guests. She just told me that 94% of the people did not bring a gift.
Would you take offense or be understanding that they had to pay for airfare and a hotel room?
Dont give the politically correct answer..give your true feelings.
StayandJohn
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
My own feelings...yea I think I would be hurt....but then my mother would tell me, hey they just spent x amount on airfare...but still would be hurt
allaboutthecake
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I would be a little hurt. I totally understand that people are spending a lot of money when going to a destination wedding...but usually you just lower your gift amount. They could have found something cheaper on the registery if they didn't want to give money. There are many other cheaper options rather than not bringing anything at all. I guess it really depends on the person. If it were me I would bring a gift but the guests might have thought that just them being there was present enough.
sophie78
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I would be surprised and I guess hurt. I can understand giving a smaller gift, but to give no gift at all seems kind of wrong. Where did she get married?
sophie78
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I wonder if people did not give a gift, but are mailing it instead?
september2004
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i would be understanding.
soon2bmrs2004
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I would be hurt. Even if it was a card or something small, anything would have been nice.
jill13bean
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
ummmm well that is what happens when you have a destination wedding... i would be a little hurt but totally understand
you should at least get a card
samsbride
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I would be hurt. Maybe they are going to send it. Personally - I would have sent it early. I definitely would not have brought a gift - even if it was a card with a check to a destination wedding. I wouldn't want the bride and groom to have to worry about it. I still think the gift should be sent before the wedding or within 2 weeks of the event. I am not one to follow etiquette but even etiquette books now say that the gift within a year thing is ridiculous.
Maybe the gifts are coming. People were busy planning their trips. Even if they don't give as much as for a local wedding - they should still give something!
Monkeybride
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I would be a little offended to not get a little something, a card even??? I could defintiely understand people not putting a monetary gift after paying to get there but maybe an inexpensive item off their registry would be nice. Tough one really I can understand both sides.
myasmom
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
she had it at the french quarters in New Orleans
SteffieSunshine1
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I would be hurt.
If I was invited to a destination wedding, I would still have a gift as part of my budget.
If I couldn't afford to go, then I wouldn't, but I would not show up without a gift.
Jax430
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I would be hurt. I would understand if gifts were smaller b/c people are spending a lot of money to get there, but I think no gift is in poor taste.
sarahthegreat
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
based on where the wedding was, I would be offened by people not bringing a gift/card or anything. Let's face it, New Orleans is not Italy or the Caribbbean, its in the USA. I'm thinking that people think that you don't have to bring a gift to a destination wedding....
lillian771
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
i'm not so sure. i think it would've been nice of them to give something. but on the other hand i do understand how much money they spent to go to the wedding!
thiadora
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Re: Would you be hurt or just understanding?
I would be a little hurt.
My family is scattered across the country (California, Seattle, Colorado, Chicago, Upstate NY, Connecticut and New Jersey). When you're coming from OOT and the wedding is far, a wedding in the bride's home town can feel like a destination wedding. Hotels in NY are not cheap. The airports really aren't that close (for us) so that means car rental or car service. That can really add up.
It is expensive for people to travel and I would really never expect an expensive gift from an OOT guest. But as a guest myself, I would want to give some sort of a present to the bride and groom to celebrate the start of their life together. If it was a destination wedding, I would not bring it. I would mail it (as someone previously stated).
sophie78
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When you said destination wedding, I was thinking some place exotic; I was not thinking New Orleans. So, yes, I would be hurt.
Robeymuse
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I was thinking about this. My FH is from Saint Louis, and we both live here now. Half of our invited guests would have to fly to NYC/LI for my wedding. I do not expect them to bring a gift (since I know they are spending anywhere from 600 to 1600) to come. I do hope they bring a card though. It doesn't bother me. That fact that they are coming means more to me.
