Would You Get Married On September 11? POLL

i wouldnt do it -
i wouldnt want people that are in mourning to feel that they had to come to my wedding on that day and pretend they are doing okay

also - i wouldnt want that date as my anniversary. . .

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Posted by Brassgirl9

I didn't mean to be mean about it but you ask for opinions and it was a hard emotional day for a lot of people.

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I agree that it is a hard/emotional day for a lot of people but I don't think that people are disgusting for choosing that day. Every person has to deal with it in their own way. I am glad to have the happy memory of my cousins wedding on that day to take away from my pain associated with the other memories of that day.

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Posted by lilqtny

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Posted by Brassgirl9

I didn't mean to be mean about it but you ask for opinions and it was a hard emotional day for a lot of people.

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I agree that it is a hard/emotional day for a lot of people but I don't think that people are disgusting for choosing that day. Every person has to deal with it in their own way. I am glad to have the happy memory of my cousins wedding on that day to take away from my pain associated with the other memories of that day.

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I agree. I think having a wedding on the 11th of September allows people to be happy and celebrate life! Im sure many would welcome the opportunity to forget their troubles. Plus, it also can be done in a tasteful way. How about doing donation favors to a 9/11 fund at the end of the evening? Having a wedding on 9/11 does not replace the heartache our counrty felt when we were attacked nor does it diminish the fact that many of us lost loved ones but it does give us a reason to cherish each day as it should be!

I picked I'd have to think about it and here's why:

-I would feel that it would have a horrible connotation to it for many people...especially in NY

-People get married on December 7th and likely don't think twice about it being the day Pearl Harbor was attacked.

-I know of a religion where they don't celebrate birthdays because 'John the Baptist was killed on/for someone's birthday' BUT they celebrate the life out of a wedding anniversary...yet people get divorced on your [no one in particular] anniversary all the time. So in a way, this seems silly to me...to not allow a date for happiness for some because some see it as bad/sad. (this will tie in with my last point)

-The wound is too fresh for many right now, even 5 years later (wow...it's been five years....honestly, doesn't seem like it's been that long).


-And here's the thing that might sway me over...WHY LET TERRORISTS WIN???? I'm not saying everyone should jump on the date and RHs should be refereeing cat fights over the date...but why on earth should I be afraid of a date that really is only sad because some jerks got together and attacked us?? In that sense, we are letting them win...when we can't celebrate because it's the anniversary of a day of tragedy...then we let them win because we are living in fear whether we realize it or not. And what better way to show them the ultimate 'middle finger' than to go on with our lives, celebrate and be happy?

Ultimately, I likely wouldn't do it because of where I am living now and the people I am connected to now...but given where I was 5 years ago, the date would've held less meaning to me. I lived in a rural area in the south and didn't lose anyone as none of my family lived in NY...however now, I live on LI and my FIL worked in the trade center...I would feel differently and think more on this than before. So I'd be extremely torn...part of me would say no, it's too emotional of a day and the other part of me says what better way to show we have all risen above their evil?

Someone I knew from my law school days died at the WTC, and someone I know from HS barely escaped the Pentagon (he was in the building but not in the section the plane hit).

To me a wedding is a celebration and what better way to overcome tragedy than to show the terrorists that we, the American people, will overcome and grow stronger and move on. Does this mean we forget? No. The family members of those lost will NEVER forget, and those people will remain alive in the hearts of many, and the sights and sounds of that day will forever be etched in the minds of those who witnessed it - either first hand, or on TV, but all of us need to go on living, or those that perished will not be the only lives lost that day.

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Posted by October Bliss

Someone I knew from my law school days died at the WTC, and someone I know from HS barely escaped the Pentagon (he was in the building but not in the section the plane hit).

To me a wedding is a celebration and what better way to overcome tragedy than to show the terrorists that we, the American people, will overcome and grow stronger and move on. Does this mean we forget? No. The family members of those lost will NEVER forget, and those people will remain alive in the hearts of many, and the sights and sounds of that day will forever be etched in the minds of those who witnessed it - either first hand, or on TV, but all of us need to go on living, or those that perished will not be the only lives lost that day.

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Darlene, Thankfully someone stated a message that summed up exaclty how I feel! I tried to get my message across clearly but Im not sure if I did. Anyway, I couldn't agree more with your intelligent response.

There have been several women on here who disagreed and I respect their opinions. I commend those who respectfully displayed their opinions in a mature fashion

I think I'd have to think about it...

my parents' anniversary is September 11th, but they were married in 1966. We still celebrate their anniversary every year. We even did that year, even though I had a really hard time with it.

I personally don't know if I could have my wedding on that day because when people see 'September 11th' - they just get a bad feeling about it. Even my parents, when they tell people their anniversary, have to say, 'but it was before 9/11'.

It might just be too soon, for me anyway.

Good luck!

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Posted by AeroJenn

I wouldnt not just because I dont want the reminder, but also because a lot of other people were affected by this day and I think its a day that many find hard to handle. I dont think people would be as inclined to show up or party on that day, JMO.

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I agree completely with you. I still find it hard. Even with the movie that just came out with Nicholas Cage...I feel that lump in my throat and that is only a movie about the day. I couldn't imagine celebrating my wedding day on a day that still resonates as the worst day in American history that I have ever lived through. That is my opinion.

No it is deifferent then pearl harbor you know... We lived through it..

I lost to many friends that day, it wouldn't be a happy day, for me, my friends or family...

But I think it is up to the individual

Ok, I answered no on the post but didnt post a reply for a few days. I just needed some time to collect my thoughts on this one before I wrote anything.

My answer is still No and here is why.

I understand that some may feel that by not having a wedding you are allowing the terrorists to 'win'. Well, I do not agree. This is not a fight that needs to be had on the 11th. There were alot of lives lost and a huge whole left in people's lives. I dont think it is appropriate to fill that day , which for some is a day of mourning and reflection with a celebration.

For some of us, that day will always be solomn. I personally would not attend a wedding on 9/11. I would not be in a place to share joy with someone and would hate to be a downer on their special day.

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Posted by GabrielleandJohn

Ok, I answered no on the post but didnt post a reply for a few days. I just needed some time to collect my thoughts on this one before I wrote anything.

My answer is still No and here is why.

I understand that some may feel that by not having a wedding you are allowing the terrorists to 'win'. Well, I do not agree. This is not a fight that needs to be had on the 11th. There were alot of lives lost and a huge whole left in people's lives. I dont think it is appropriate to fill that day , which for some is a day of mourning and reflection with a celebration.

For some of us, that day will always be solomn. I personally would not attend a wedding on 9/11. I would not be in a place to share joy with someone and would hate to be a downer on their special day.

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I totally agree with you.

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Posted by nala3378

No it is deifferent then pearl harbor you know... We lived through it..

I lost to many friends that day, it wouldn't be a happy day, for me, my friends or family...

But I think it is up to the individual

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But our grandparents lived through Pearl Harbor AND some of them lived through 9/11.

I'd do it. Plain and simple, you can't let them win.

i don't think i could. i would feel like i was being disrespectful. as a new yorker, that day was just so personal for me and it's been devastating since. it's just so sad and i don't think i could put something that 'big' aside to have my wedding day on it. i am getting married two days before-- something about doing it after 9/11 threw me for a loop so we booked right before. it was a big concern for me and a major 'decision maker' for me. I also will not be flying on 9/11 (i could have left for my HM on that day) but i will wait until a week or so later because i can't bear the thought of flying on 9/11. i feel like it wouldn't be 'right' to those people that were murdered. it's all very sad. i would never think badly of someone else for doing it--i just know myself too well and i know that it's just not for me.

ETA: maybe 50-70 years from now our kids and our kid's kids won't feel as strongly as we do and they'll be able to get married on a day like 9/11 but for me (b/c I lived it and it wasn't that long ago, just five years which feels like five minutes) I know I can't. I'm sure my g-parents felt the same way at the time of Pearl Harbor-- but now that it's been so many years, it might not be as bad as it was then. it's all about time and it just hasn't been long enough.

My neighbor did that and broadcast how it was such a great deal to everyone.

Personally, I feel that it is disrespectful to celebrate on that day and I wouldn't wanted to have that day also be remembered as my wedding day.