XOXO

D's Girl Posted: Dec 13, 2006 11:55 AM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

Posted by gibi78

I dont have access to his phone , i have touched it once to see pictures and that;s it, which is weird, i not sure if any of you have looked through the phone log of ur FH cell phone.....

DO NOT do it behind his back. It is not right and if you find something and then want to talk to him, it will be 100X worse

Sit down and talk and then ask him to see it and if he did nothing wrong, he should have nothing to hide.

lilqtpie2181 Posted: Dec 13, 2006 11:58 AM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

Posted by D's Girl

Posted by gibi78

I dont have access to his phone , i have touched it once to see pictures and that;s it, which is weird, i not sure if any of you have looked through the phone log of ur FH cell phone.....

DO NOT do it behind his back. It is not right and if you find something and then want to talk to him, it will be 100X worse

Sit down and talk and then ask him to see it and if he did nothing wrong, he should have nothing to hide.

agreed.. dont do it behind his back. U have to talk to him. u should not have secrets form one another and if he has secrets than something is wrong.
But I agree with Bari.. dont look through his phone behind his back.

carolinebr Posted: Dec 13, 2006 12:01 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

If it is causing you stress, you must address.

Like the other girls said, say something calmly to him. I find that whenever I talk to FH in a really mature tone and tell him how I am feeling, he listens.

If it were me, I'd say something like 'we are going to be husband and wife & share the rest of our lives together. As your wife, I need to feel secure in our relationship. I have trouble feeling that way when you do X,Y & Z. I love you and I would be happier if you could think about how that makes me feel.'

Just a suggestion.

MnM52607 Posted: Dec 13, 2006 12:18 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

I think you need to tell him how his actions are making you feel.

RGV07 Posted: Dec 13, 2006 12:19 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

i think it just bothers me,....... whenever he goes somewhere he tell me first to let me know, and tells me who he goes with, and i know there are days he home late, he tells me and if he cant be with me on the weekends he let me know., sometimes he has to go places with his familyu which is understandable..... and when he was getting my e-ring, i did the same things , wanted to know where he wqas going ( wouldnt tell me where was going obviously) and i wanted to know who was he going with, which he totally got mad and i blew up his spot, ( which i felt real gulity) about that, and he wanted to surprise me.....

milana Posted: Dec 13, 2006 12:20 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

Posted by Mikeysgirl

If the talking doesn't work then try to get a copy of his cell phone statement or maybe try to get the phone when he's in the shower

thats what i would do if all else fails.

hmv12 Posted: Dec 13, 2006 12:22 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

Posted by MrsBartonToBe

that sounds fckin shady.. sometimes when my FH walks into another room to make a call I follow him and im like wttf???? and ends up always being business I think we are all just paranoid sometimes.. I definatly would confront him and tel him how u feel about him doing this... You shouldnt feel jealous like that and he needs to re-assure u that everything is OK!

Very True!!!!!

TLC1018 Posted: Dec 13, 2006 12:25 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

your gut will tell you what the best thing for you is. If you really feel deep down that something is wrong, listen to yourself and maybe sit down to discuss it with him.

RGV07 Posted: Dec 13, 2006 12:27 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

well i will have to wait until he comes back from his trip, so i wont be able to talk to him until next week, but i will keep you guys informed about this......

Dolce19 Posted: Dec 13, 2006 12:28 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

I would sit down and talk to him....and if I wasn't happy with the way it went...I would go through his phone when I found the chance.

natseven Posted: Dec 13, 2006 12:33 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

do you know his password to his email address? I know its wrong but you may find your answers there....

heatherandrichie Posted: Dec 13, 2006 12:51 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

Posted by ik1

Sometimes we know that something is wrong, call it womens intuition, but I have known in the past when something is not right and maybe you should now the whole truth before you deciede to marry someone. Talk 2 him see how he acts and what he says. Dont fight about it,

Agreed. Just make sure to put it on you, so he doesn't blow up or get defensive. Just say somethng like 'babe, I have noticed that the phone never leaves your side. It makes me feel insecure & nervous. Tell me I have nothing to worry about.' GL

dplehat Posted: Dec 13, 2006 01:00 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

I don't know about anyone else but I know my fh looks though my phone. When we first started dating I had just stopped a year long dating spree so I had quite a few numbers for guys in my phone. I actually had some listed by screen name instead of first name. Fh was one that had the screen name since we met through an online dating service. Well I went to call him and the name was gone or so I thought. He had been looking through my phone and changed it to his real name. I always had my phone on me except in the shower so he must have done it then. I was a little annoyed that he went through my phone not because I have anything to hide but because it is mine and he should have asked. I agree with the people that say talk to him about it because nobody likes a snoop.

sunflower13 Posted: Dec 13, 2006 01:24 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

Talk to him about this ASAP Don't go on wondering and making yourself sick. He is going to be your husband and should care about how you feel. I would not snoop through his things or look at his phone. Good Luck

stephanief Posted: Dec 13, 2006 02:03 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

Posted by gibi78

Something when we do talk about something , say the wedding we get into huge argument, and then he doesnt talk to me for the whole night, i dont want to go through that , it not fair to me

I am sorry but your FH needs to grow up. He needs to listen to you and not ignore you for the whole night

How do I say this nicely, you are about to marry someone that you cannot talk to??? Not the best idea, sorry

Future Mrs. Posted: Dec 13, 2006 02:13 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

choose your moment!!!!
At another time (maybe next week), NOT while you're in the midst of emotion.....talk to him about it and just sincerely tell him that it really upsets you when he does this and you feel as if he's 'hiding' something from you.
Don't ask him to change it, don't be defensive....just tell him....sincerely....that it iupsets you.
He probably doesn't even realize how much it affects you.

Trishthedish Posted: Dec 13, 2006 04:13 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

Has your FH ever given you a reason not to trust him? If so, I understand how you feel. If not, then I would sit down with him and talk about it or try to figure out why you feel this way. It sounds to me like you are very insecure about something (no offense). My ex-boyfriend made me feel this way constantly but that is b/c he gave me many reasons for feeling that way (cheating, lieing, etc.).

Future Mrs. Posted: Dec 13, 2006 04:16 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

As per my last reply.....yes choose your moment....but I forgot to add something...You MUST address this b/c if you cannot communicate about something like this, and you feel that you can't trust him (even if its innocent ) then you cannot marry him.

SAMORY Posted: Dec 13, 2006 04:29 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

I agree with ElenaandEric 100 and 10 %. You have to first talk tot him. I know I take my phone every where I go. I don't care where I'm going to the bathroom, store, bed, etc. It don't mean anything it's just a habbit. You have to trust him and know that he love you and care deeply for you enough to want to marry you and spend the rest of his life with you.

mycrayon1 Posted: Dec 13, 2006 04:30 PM

Re: Tell ME Ladies What Should I Do????????????????????

My FH does the same thing! I used to get really curious and one night even stayed awake after him to look through his phone.
I can't tell you what your FH is doing, but FH and I had a discussion about it b/c he would interogate me when I was on the phone. He's gotten better about it.
Maybe if you sit him down and talk to him and tell him how you feel he'll stop.
HTH