Write her a letter asking her if she still wants to be in the BP and explain to her that part if being in the BP is taking an active role in your planning, etc. Why should she be in your BP if she wants pretty much nothing to do with you or your wedding.
do you think i should wait until after my shower or send it asap?
Is she coming to the bridal shower??
bluegreen08
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
Butterfly123
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
Posted by bluegreen08
Posted by Songstress
Posted by bluegreen08
Posted by Songstress
Write her a letter asking her if she still wants to be in the BP and explain to her that part if being in the BP is taking an active role in your planning, etc. Why should she be in your BP if she wants pretty much nothing to do with you or your wedding.
do you think i should wait until after my shower or send it asap?
Is she coming to the bridal shower??
dont know..
Oh duh!! Of course you wouldnt know lol I guess wait til after the shower. I guess that should be the last straw although even if she does show up it still doesnt make up for how unimportant shes making you feel. Youre gonna be in NY for 7 weeks and she says shes so busy she can meet up with you ONCE?!! What the hell is that all about?? Honestly, I dont know if I would be able to wait til after the shower.
AndRecKy
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
THIS IS HOW I FEEL WITH ALL OF MY GIRLS
it is sooo upsetting.
if i were you i would wait unitl after the shower....
SeaMaiden
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
being chosen as a BM is an honor and a privilege, and she is not treating it that way. See if she comes to your shower. If she dosent come, and she dosent make an effort to meet you during those 7 weeks you should ask her to drop out IMO. If she is a true friend she would be respectful of the honor you gave to her but it seems she dosent care how you feel and that dosent a friend make.....
snowcutie82
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
these situations are never fun. although obv i dont agree with her lack of involvement...but sometimes ppl just really arent into these things like we are cuz its our wedding etc. but that doesnt mean she should find excuses to not hang out with you and find other ways to be involved.
i would ask someone else like your mom or other bp member to find out if she is going to the shower...or if they could give u any insight on her...that way if u know she isn't going to the shower u can talk to her before hand...and if she is...see how the shower goes.
cherish83
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
All this BM drama lately!! I know how you feel
You need to tell her how you feel and ask her if she actually wants to be in it. You can't have this additional stress of wondering how she feels about it. You deserve to have people who WANT to be in it.
Kerin2804
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
I am sorry you have to go through all of this. Please do not feel foolish, you are a good person trying to include a friend. I would talk to her about how you feel and see how it goes from there.
enewedding
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
sorry you are having to deal with this.
Dont feel the fool. people change and sometimes people aren't who you thought they were to begin with.
Can you ask MOH if she is coming to the shower? This way if she isn't then i would put an end to it. Sorry but i have rearranged my schedule many a time for those you matter to me.
KK Holiday
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
dont feel bad. you felt that you could count on her and wanted her to be a part of your special day.
i had a similar situation and I nicely asked one of my friends to step down from being a BM and she was totally fine with it! she felt bad that I felt so worried about it. We were both relieved that we could handle it like adults. just talk to her! good luck!
Munchkn16
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
I'd be upset too. Here you are, reaching out to a person that has been a friend of yours for years, and she keeps ingoring your efforts.
I'd write her an email or call her to explain your feelings. If she drops out, it's on her. The entire point of a BM is to be there for the bride. You deserve BMs that are going to be there for you. If she can't/won't, she doesn't deserve to be such a big part of your day.
edited for spelling
bluegreen08
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
thanks for the comments ladies
bluekat16
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
I think if she doesn't show for your shower you should just talk to her and give her the option of stepping down since she doesn't seem to be that into it anyways.
sheeshamuff
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
I would talk to her first. Last year I was a bridesmaid in 2 different weddings. I was in grad school at the time and it was one of the most stressful times in my life. I was not the best bridesmaid in the world for sure. I felt terrible, but I had to do my school work. I was spending so much $$ to go to school. I just talked to the brides and they understood. I totally pulled it together the day of the weddings though. I was there and did everything they asked and then some. So maybe she is just overwhelmed. I would definitely talk to her. She may feel bad as it is, but school has to come first esp. when spending a lot of $$. It is wrong of her to not talk to you about it though. Just bring it up and see how she responds. Good Luck.
EsquireBride
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
I would call her up, and be really nice and try to give her an 'out' for being in your bridal party -- let her feel like she is making the choice to back out and let her know you are fine with it.
bluegreen08
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
kimandvin
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
I understand where you are coming from and I guess its kind of touchy since you said you have already lost touch.. maybe just tell her that if she doesnt want to be in teh Bp she doesnt' have to .. if its too much for her she can tell you.... But I do understand if she can't make your E-party.. I don;t thinkthats such a big deal,.or the Back party.. I have two from out of state, one my Bf since I was born and my cousin.; I don't expect them to drop everything to come here for simple E-party,. the only thing that I ask of them is that they come to the wedding.. that's all,,. Things are expensive and they have their own lives so I think you also need to take that into account.. Now on the other hand if you will be in NY and she is there too and she cant find more than ONE day to get togethe with you,. thats another story. I think thats jsut flat out rude.. and maybe yuo want to discuss this with her.. Good luck Im sorry you are going thru this Weding stress! Wish you luck!
bluegreen08
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
Personally - when you have to make THAT much of an effort to be her friend - it's not worth it.
I wouldn't even write her an email. I'd call and say - 'listen, I know you can't make it to the b-party and it seems as if you're really busy, so I'd like you to step down. No hard feelings.'
It seems whiny to me when you have to go to your friends and be like 'the way you're acting hurts my feelings.' I don't know, maybe I'm in the minority on this one.
Just tell her to drop out. You don't need the aggravation.
ldrenckhahn
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Re: very upset... don't know what to do...
Posted by LuvMyAlfonse
Personally - when you have to make THAT much of an effort to be her friend - it's not worth it.
I wouldn't even write her an email. I'd call and say - 'listen, I know you can't make it to the b-party and it seems as if you're really busy, so I'd like you to step down. No hard feelings.'
It seems whiny to me when you have to go to your friends and be like 'the way you're acting hurts my feelings.' I don't know, maybe I'm in the minority on this one.
Just tell her to drop out. You don't need the aggravation.
