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XOXO
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
I'm sorry to hear this but I think it sounds like a case of cold feet. Maybe he is just feeling really anxious and doesn't know how to communicate this.
Give it some time apart, don't cancel anything yet. Wait for the next payment to be due before you make any decisions and just give him his space. I'm sure he'll be running back.
Give it some time apart, don't cancel anything yet. Wait for the next payment to be due before you make any decisions and just give him his space. I'm sure he'll be running back.
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
I am so sorry to hear this.. and my heart goes out to you - you have to do what your gut tells you to do, if you are unsure of this and it seems that he doesnt respect you - just from reading what you have written - you deserve to be respected, and loved, and cared for - and if he isnt going to treat you like you deserved to be treated, and isnt open to communication, this may be the road you need to consider going down. Communication is extremely important in a strong relationship and marriage, and from what I am reading, you seem to want to fix things, and he isnt the best of communicators. I would try and tell him your feelings and make him understand that unless he does an extreme 180 then he is going to lose out on the best thing he had going for him - YOU!.. keep your head up, and dont let it slide.. ![]()
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so sorry that you have to go through this...
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Follow your heart and do what is best for you. If you need to ntalk, please feel free to FM me
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
Thank you- I just don't have any desire to see him. It's become a thing of hatred at this point. I can't imagine ever treating the person I love like this.
The sad thing is - he knows better. When his mother for out of line on Thanksgiving he was relentless in justifying what she said and really defended her. HE HAS NEVER DONE THIS FOR ME.
I can't believe how much I let slide...and still no respect for it. he only steps on me more. I'm so heartbroken and I feel like an idiot. After all my family and I have done for him.
He was really immature- using the fact that he 'just' got out of college for why he had no job- because of me pushing him he is now an account manager at a big company.
I'm beyond offended and everything else. I just don't understand why this happens to me. I'm a nice girl and honest and loyal- it's just so hard to go through this.
Other girls I know are married- husbands paid for half or all including a house and they cheat on them...and here I am I'm soooo good to him and try to make him better and he can't even meet me half way!
His argument is that I nag- I don't consider telling him to put his seatbelt on nagging. I feel like a P O S and useless.
The sad thing is - he knows better. When his mother for out of line on Thanksgiving he was relentless in justifying what she said and really defended her. HE HAS NEVER DONE THIS FOR ME.
I can't believe how much I let slide...and still no respect for it. he only steps on me more. I'm so heartbroken and I feel like an idiot. After all my family and I have done for him.
He was really immature- using the fact that he 'just' got out of college for why he had no job- because of me pushing him he is now an account manager at a big company.
I'm beyond offended and everything else. I just don't understand why this happens to me. I'm a nice girl and honest and loyal- it's just so hard to go through this.
Other girls I know are married- husbands paid for half or all including a house and they cheat on them...and here I am I'm soooo good to him and try to make him better and he can't even meet me half way!
His argument is that I nag- I don't consider telling him to put his seatbelt on nagging. I feel like a P O S and useless.
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
I'm so sorry to hear this, but try to look at it this way. If he really is like this then it's better to know now, while you're still young w/every possible option in life, then to be older w/kids and get a divorce. I know it's painful and must be difficult to see the bright side, but I'm sure it wasn't these couple of incidents alone that has driven you to end it. You deserve to be treated the way you're expecting. It's nothing unreasonable you're asking for, and you should demand it. And remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' Don't give anyone consent to treat you this way, ever! You'll only get what you demand. Maybe not from him, and that's heartbreaking, but certainly from someone.
I do however believe you shouldn't make an hasty decisions. Sometimes ppl do change when given the proper motivation (although w/a family like his, he doesn't have a good example to learn from). I'd do what the other young lady suggested and wait until the next payments are due to make a decions. If you're going to lose the deposits anyway, you might as well be sure before you cancel. I wish you the best sweetie!! You're worth more than that. Don't forget that ever.![]()
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I do however believe you shouldn't make an hasty decisions. Sometimes ppl do change when given the proper motivation (although w/a family like his, he doesn't have a good example to learn from). I'd do what the other young lady suggested and wait until the next payments are due to make a decions. If you're going to lose the deposits anyway, you might as well be sure before you cancel. I wish you the best sweetie!! You're worth more than that. Don't forget that ever.
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
Sorry to hear this. You never know what is going to happen, how long have you been dating? If you feel that your relationship truly is a mistake, cancel the wedding. If not, perhaps you should speak to him. But he needs to respect you. Perhaps you can delay the wedding, till after, if you want to give him a chance and move the dates of whatever you already booked. So sorry. Pls keep us posted. These things happen to many people, better now than when you are married. I was engaged once before and broke it off, best thing I ever did. Now, I am engaged to a wonderful guy, it was all worth the pain, etc. Good luck. This is a good site to vent. People are incredibly helpful here.
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
It sounds like you are really 'heated' and have had a few days to see another side of your FH and his family that you are concerned about.
I'd give it as long as possible before making any big decisions- you are so angry right now that you may not be thinking as clear as you could.
If you do end up wanting to see if you can work things out- maybe some counseling? Sometimes people have a hard time communicating and understanding each other's feelings and needs.
Just a thought.
I'd give it as long as possible before making any big decisions- you are so angry right now that you may not be thinking as clear as you could.
If you do end up wanting to see if you can work things out- maybe some counseling? Sometimes people have a hard time communicating and understanding each other's feelings and needs.
Just a thought.
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
Sorry u r going through this. FM me if u need to talk. I know it can be lonely when u feel like u have noone to talk to about things like this. Your gut is usually right so think about what u really want. A few days (or weeks) can help put things in perspective and will give you time to work out your thoughts and feelings. Wedding planning is super stressful and it causes a lot of couples to have horrible fights and doubt their relationship----it could be that or it could be a lot more. It's tough to give advice without knowing you----but just think everything over carefully. Really, FM me if u need someone to talk to!
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
Posted by StacyJill2009
I'm sorry to hear this but I think it sounds like a case of cold feet. Maybe he is just feeling really anxious and doesn't know how to communicate this.
Give it some time apart, don't cancel anything yet. Wait for the next payment to be due before you make any decisions and just give him his space. I'm sure he'll be running back.
I totally agree with you.
Sorry you are going through this, We are all here for you
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
Posted by mosh424
Posted by StacyJill2009
I'm sorry to hear this but I think it sounds like a case of cold feet. Maybe he is just feeling really anxious and doesn't know how to communicate this.
Give it some time apart, don't cancel anything yet. Wait for the next payment to be due before you make any decisions and just give him his space. I'm sure he'll be running back.
I totally agree with you.
Sorry you are going through this, We are all here for you![]()
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ITA
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
what does ITA mean?
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
Posted by secretname
what does ITA mean?
I totally agree
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
ohhhhh.
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
so sorry you are going through this![]()
as someone said above, we are here for you.
i must add, if he cant give you the respect you deserve now, then who knows if he'll give it to you later....
as for deposits, maybe you can get some back
only you can decide what is good for you, do not settle!
i must add, if he cant give you the respect you deserve now, then who knows if he'll give it to you later....
as for deposits, maybe you can get some back
only you can decide what is good for you, do not settle!
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
The way I feel right now- I don't have any love for him...it's all anger towards him and anger for how ungrateful he is. I'm ashamed that I could be so close to someone who could do this to people that have been so kind to him.
I just don't see us getting back together...he'll probably think he can walk all over me and my family.
I just don't see us getting back together...he'll probably think he can walk all over me and my family.
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
I don't understand...when was the last time you spoke with him? Do you live together? Are you just mad now...or are you totally done?
Sorry for so many questions...I tried to read all the posts, but figured I would just ask...
Maybe he is just being s h i t t y, because of the pressure, and the holidays...etc.??
Sorry for so many questions...I tried to read all the posts, but figured I would just ask...
Maybe he is just being s h i t t y, because of the pressure, and the holidays...etc.??
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Re: My wedding is probably off.
Posted by secretname
The way I feel right now- I don't have any love for him...it's all anger towards him and anger for how ungrateful he is. I'm ashamed that I could be so close to someone who could do this to people that have been so kind to him.
I just don't see us getting back together...he'll probably think he can walk all over me and my family.
If that is how you feel than maybe you should call it off. I agree with the above poster about the whole respect thing - can he really change???
