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Pre-marital counseling??

FH and I aren't doing pre-marital counseling. Our opinion is that if a couple needs to go to pre-marital counseling, they shouldn't be getting married in the first place, lol. We're just like you. If we have an issue about something, we talk it out and reach an agreement. I think that's such an important skill for a couple to learn before they jump into a marriage.

Re: Pre-marital counseling??

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Posted by jsh109

FH and I aren't doing pre-marital counseling. Our opinion is that if a couple needs to go to pre-marital counseling, they shouldn't be getting married in the first place, lol. We're just like you. If we have an issue about something, we talk it out and reach an agreement. I think that's such an important skill for a couple to learn before they jump into a marriage.

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Pre-marital counseling??

FH and I aren't doing any sort of pre-matial counseling. We have been together for 8 years, some of those being not so great. We know that if we made it through the difficulties we had already, we can figure anything out. While pre-marital counseling may be the right thing for some couples, I think it's not for everyone. We've also discussed a lot of the things that cause problems in marriages. We know how we want to raise our kids, handle our finances, and even how we're going to go about situations like the possibility of not being able to have our own children. We felt that it was important to talk these things over before even talking about getting engaged so that we'd know we should be getting engaged.

Pre-marital counseling??

I'd never considered seeing one. FH and I have been together for almost 9 years, so we pretty much know how to deal with each other at this point. Yes, we get angry with each other sometimes, but who doesn't? We have our own way of dealing with it and at the end of the day, we love and support each other, so there's no reason to have somebody else tell us how to deal with any issues that come up.

Pre-marital counseling??

I respectfully disagree with you ladies and actually think pre-marital counseling can be beneficial to couples, even if they've been together for a long time and have great communication skills. FH and I will most likely go through some sessions with the minister of our church (not pre-cana) and I think it opens the door to things you may not have thought of. Most pre-marital counselors have been married, especially if it's through a non-catholic church and can give you insight into married life, things you may not have thought of.

That being said, it's definitely not neccessary and not for everyone and if you don't think it's needed for you than go with your gut. I think the keys to a successful marriage are communication which can totally be achieved without the help of a counselor. Really I think you should just tell your friend to butt the eff out lol.

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Posted by kaw2be
I think the keys to a successful marriage are communication which can totally be achieved without the help of a counselor. Really I think you should just tell your friend to butt the eff out lol.

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I agree with everyone above and exactly this comment. The counselor will most likely just give you different ways of communication. I don't think you need to spend the time with a counselor to figure that out. And seriously, I'd tell her to mind her business

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Posted by kaw2be

I respectfully disagree with you ladies and actually think pre-marital counseling can be beneficial to couples, even if they've been together for a long time and have great communication skills. FH and I will most likely go through some sessions with the minister of our church (not pre-cana) and I think it opens the door to things you may not have thought of. Most pre-marital counselors have been married, especially if it's through a non-catholic church and can give you insight into married life, things you may not have thought of.

That being said, it's definitely not neccessary and not for everyone and if you don't think it's needed for you than go with your gut. I think the keys to a successful marriage are communication which can totally be achieved without the help of a counselor. Really I think you should just tell your friend to butt the eff out lol.

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I couldn't agree more!

I don't see anything wrong with pre-marital counseling, it's a matter of personal choice. If FH wanted to go I would have no objections, the thought had just never occurred to us. If your friend is fighting a lot with her FH it sounds like they're doing something smart about it and dealing with whatever issues they may have now. Sometimes people attach an unnessary stigma to the word 'counseling' (not to say that you are!) when in reality some people need more help communicating than others, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think everyone can benefit from some guidance at some point or another, and if premarital counseling educates on ways to handle conflict within the marriage, how to communicate, etc., it could only be a good thing.

Like kaw2be said, just go with you gut!

Pre-marital counseling??

I have a successful relationship, but their is always room for improvement. If anyone find anything I would definitely be interested in find out. It would just be an experience that can help us grow together then hurt us.

Pre-marital counseling??

This is entirely up to the couple. FH & I went to Pre-Cana because it was part of our the requirements to get married in the Catholic Church and it was one of the BEST experiences. FH & I knew we were compatabile on many levels (met on EHarmony and it is like an SAT!!) and it brought us even closer. It confirmed that we are super compatible and has prepared us by giving us insight into other married couples lives. It also confirmed and explored our views of many different aspects of a marriage that we have previously discussed. There are many stages of a relationship and as years pass new experiences and struggles will come about and I think that the more information you gather now will help you ensure you have a successful marriage.

Pre-marital counseling??

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Pre-marital counseling??

I think pre-martial counselling is not a bad thing, but I think it really depends on the reasons WHY you're doing it. I think if you're doing it to fix problems, well then I personally think that's a red flag. If you're getting (or want to get) pre-marriage counseling to strengthen your relationship, and get a deeper understanding of yourself, each other individually, and you as a couple - then go for it.

I'd like to get some, because I think it would be interesting. But I don't think it's a necessity for FH and I.

Pre-marital counseling??

I barely read everyone else's responses because I feel like this friend of yours always just tells you things to push your buttons and get under your skin so without reading anyone else's responses can I just say that maybe you should talk to her a little less and go with your instinct?
:)

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Re: Pre-marital counseling??

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Posted by kaw2be

I respectfully disagree with you ladies and actually think pre-marital counseling can be beneficial to couples, even if they've been together for a long time and have great communication skills. FH and I will most likely go through some sessions with the minister of our church (not pre-cana) and I think it opens the door to things you may not have thought of. Most pre-marital counselors have been married, especially if it's through a non-catholic church and can give you insight into married life, things you may not have thought of.

That being said, it's definitely not neccessary and not for everyone and if you don't think it's needed for you than go with your gut. I think the keys to a successful marriage are communication which can totally be achieved without the help of a counselor. Really I think you should just tell your friend to butt the eff out lol.

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I agree with the above. I have never met a couple who has done it that didn't think it was a resource when their marriage went through a rough season. My church requires it if you want a minister to perform the ceremony. FH and I have been together for 5 years and would still be doing it if it wasn't a requirement. I think counseling provide additional ways of communication, resolving issues, etc. that we haven't thought of. I'm for anything that could potentially help better my relationship.

Pre-marital counseling??

My dad is a psychologist so I believe in any kind of counceling any time. I think pre-marital counceling could be a benifit if it didn't sound so negative. It could help a couple learn how to make a marraige work. But at the same time, if a couple is fighting non-stop and just cheating on each other left and right....pre-marital counceling is not the answer.

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Posted by Alyssa M

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Posted by kaw2be

I respectfully disagree with you ladies and actually think pre-marital counseling can be beneficial to couples, even if they've been together for a long time and have great communication skills. FH and I will most likely go through some sessions with the minister of our church (not pre-cana) and I think it opens the door to things you may not have thought of. Most pre-marital counselors have been married, especially if it's through a non-catholic church and can give you insight into married life, things you may not have thought of.

That being said, it's definitely not neccessary and not for everyone and if you don't think it's needed for you than go with your gut. I think the keys to a successful marriage are communication which can totally be achieved without the help of a counselor. Really I think you should just tell your friend to butt the eff out lol.

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I couldn't agree more!

I don't see anything wrong with pre-marital counseling, it's a matter of personal choice. If FH wanted to go I would have no objections, the thought had just never occurred to us. If your friend is fighting a lot with her FH it sounds like they're doing something smart about it and dealing with whatever issues they may have now. Sometimes people attach an unnessary stigma to the word 'counseling' (not to say that you are!) when in reality some people need more help communicating than others, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think everyone can benefit from some guidance at some point or another, and if premarital counseling educates on ways to handle conflict within the marriage, how to communicate, etc., it could only be a good thing.

Like kaw2be said, just go with you gut!

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I agree with you guys. I think any type of therapy/counseling can be good for people. I dont care what anyone says, no relationship is perfect. And if you think yours is, youre in denial. There will always be bumps in the road & you need to do what ever you can to get through them & if thats counseling I am all for it!

Pre-marital counseling??

Pre-marital Counseling is beneficial for anyone/everyone. It's not the stigma denoted 'therapy' as in resolving problems that exist; it's to build upon what you have and possibly learn something new. Although my 5 yr old relationship started with NO games and continues to flourish with complete openness, trust & communication, I still plan on attending counseling. It doesn't matter whether you see each other every day or once a week, live together or miles away, bring home the bacon or just eat that bacon... You don't know what tomorrow hold, and these talks will help you understand different aspects to life and yourselves. Why wait till a problem arises.

Pre-marital counseling??

FH & I never fight... ever. We are still doing premarital counseling. We refuse to be a statistic and feel that counseling will really outline our expectations of each other and our future together =)

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Posted by mmordocco

FH & I never fight... ever. We are still doing premarital counseling. We refuse to be a statistic and feel that counseling will really outline our expectations of each other and our future together =)

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I agree with you about this. I told FH shortly after I met him that I plan to get married once. I look at my grandparents, who have been married for 70 years this May, and I want to have a long happy life like them. They had their problems, and there were times where they really didn't want to be married to each other, but they fixed the things that were broken in their relationship. I think it's a great thing to look ahead and discuss things that don't affect you yet, but eventually possibly will.