Awkward Question...

Has anyone else's first month of marriage been not-so-blissful? I thought this month would be the happiest time in our lives and so far, it is the lowest of lows we have ever had. We came back happy from the honeymoon and then just totally turned on each other. Every single night we go to sleep upset at each other since the honeymoon. This has never happened before. Is it just us?

Re: Awkward Question...

We had a few issues, which was upsetting because we had such a great wedding and HM. Ours had partially to do with life stress on DH's part, and me just getting frustrated because I wanted us to be happy. It felt like, we spent the whole past year being stressed, had a magical week, and then came back to new problems. Eventually it passed though and things got better. I think we both just had a lot of built up emotion (stress from the wedding, life, etc.) that needed to come out and once it did we were fine.

FM me if you want to talk.

Re: Awkward Question...

We also went through something like this... it passed for us. We had a lot going on when we got back.

1. Our apartment wasn't live in ready

2. We didn't live together before, so there was THAT.

It took us awhile about 1-2 months to get into a groove, but everything got better. There's ALWAYS something but now we're facing it together and that makes it easier.

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i think it hit us in the second month. we had the most amazing time while we were on our honeymoon, and tried to keep that going when we came home. well that only lasted a couple of weeks as life stresses (e.g., my job) came back into the picture, and i think that the inability to keep things blissful frustrated both of us to the point that we started taking it out on each other.

i don't know if that makes sense but that's the best i could describe it.

Re: Awkward Question...

I honestly think that the wedding and HM and such highs in our lives that resuming normal life can put you in a sort of depression... And then bickering, fighting, etc can begin... Its more how you 2 deal with the arguments than what they are really about....

Re: Awkward Question...

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

I honestly think that the wedding and HM and such highs in our lives that resuming normal life can put you in a sort of depression... And then bickering, fighting, etc can begin... Its more how you 2 deal with the arguments than what they are really about....

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ITA. And I'm kinda glad you posted this. We definitely had the 'newlywed blues' for a bit. We both recognized that though and tried to be more understanding of each other. I think booking our actual HM helped us get back into the lovey dovey wedding spirit, too. But, you're not alone! EVeryone always says the first year of marriage is the hardest!

Re: Awkward Question...

We didn't but we had lived together for 3 years before and both went into the marriage not wanting.g a single thing to change.....the only difference was a pie e of paper.

I think newlyweds sometimes put too much pressure on themselves to be in this wedded bliss and its really just not reality. Also if you didn't Leventhal together before that adds a entire new group of stresses.

All our friends that did not live together had the post wedding issues.....those that did live together just went on with daily life after the HM

Re: Awkward Question...

It's a big adjustment ... I think it's normal for a relationship to experience some growing pains post-marriage.

Re: Awkward Question...

Did you guys live together before marriage? I find that moving in together is usually the biggest adjustment. I'm sorry things aren't perfect, but they do say the 1st year of marriage is always the hardest. Good luck!!

Re: Awkward Question...

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

I honestly think that the wedding and HM and such highs in our lives that resuming normal life can put you in a sort of depression... And then bickering, fighting, etc can begin... Its more how you 2 deal with the arguments than what they are really about....

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Absolutely this. DH and I had an amazing 3 week HM and then came back to moving into the house, his crazy work schedule, family issues, etc.

However, looking back on it now, it really brought us much closer together. It actually taught us how to fight, compromise and make up

Re: Awkward Question...

yeah it was really weird after we got home from the honeymoon...i def think its from the crash of all the wedding excitement and also the pressure of being 'perfectly happy'....i personally felt a lot of pressure in being a 'WIFE' ...i dont know how to explain it but i felt like i had to be a different person because im married now i think it was all subconscious but it was really throwing me off....anyway, what you're going through sounds pretty normal..try to talk it out with DH

Re: Awkward Question...

I know it sounds weird but we never really went into that mode of being newlyweds where you're supposed to be happy all the time. We've always been happy together but not like, giddy happy, the way I think you're supposed to be when you first get married lol. We lived together for 2 years before getting married so we had adjusted to that already. Today is actually 8 months that we've been married and to be honest, I feel like nothing has changed except my last name and the fact that I call him my husband. These past 8 months have definitely been the most stressful months of my life though due to health issues, school, work, etc. so that hasn't been fun. You'll get past this - you're still adjusting from all the wedding planning and the honeymoon, and I think there's definitely pressure to go into that newlywed bliss when there shouldn't be. DH and I bickered a lot in the first few months too.

Re: Awkward Question...

Although we lived together before we got married, ever since getting back from our honeymoon we have been so happy. Really enjoying being newlyweds & so happy saying husband & wife.

However, our big issue is other stuff going on with our families that has made it hard for us to really enjoy this time. We are very happy when we are alone but when we have to do things with our families we don't get to really show off our happiness. This is extremely upsetting to me & I have found it very hard to deal with.

Re: Awkward Question...

We had a tough first year although we lived together before we were married. We had some minor family issues and DH had a hard time adjusting to the idea that we had to make a joint budget to handle 'OUR' expenses. Things are getting easier for us communication has helped a lot.