IL Vent/ HELP!

So MIL and her husband (she married him after DHs dad died 10 years ago, so he had no part in DH's life growing up) are staying with us for a week. They have their own business and travel for work, they had some work down here in NC so they decided to come visit. Which is great, I love them, MIL is amazingly awesome and SFIL is ok, but a little weird. They are staying for a week, which is about my limit for guests before I start losing it, no matter who they are.

Well SFIL says to us last night:
'So we booked some more gigs down here for October. I made us a copy of your house key for when we come stay with you then. It will have to be for two weeks, but thats OK, right?'

What the FARK!?!? Who the he ll jus takes someones house key and makes a copy without permission? And this is my HOME, not a hotel for you to stay at whenever you are in town.

Would this piss anyone else off? And what would you do in this situation? I feel like if we say no, or even suggest getting a hotel they would be really offended, especially since I know they are hard up for money. DH feels the same way as me. ugh.

HELP!

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

WOW
HOW EFFING RUDE

I WOULD DEF SAY SOMETHING...
Or have DH say something..

WOW

I just went when i read this


I would FIGHT so much for this.... wow!!!!!!..

this is messed up....

tottaly unacceptable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

Thanks V, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a B*TCH by feeling this way!

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

That is not right at all!!! You or DH should say something! They can't be making sets of keys for themselves without even talking to you about it first to see if it was ok. Wow!

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

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Posted by Chanwich

Thanks V, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a B*TCH by feeling this way!

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NOPE.. not at all...
Trust me i will be 'fighting' with hubby now so he could say something.. bc if i say something i may 'curse'....

I cant believe it

totally disrespectful!

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

That is pretty screwed up to make a copy of your key and to just invite themselves for anything your in town. I would have lost it.

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

WTH!!!!!!!!!!!! I would be absolutley speechless and pi$$ed...that is sooo rude!

How did you even respond?!

I would change the locks after they leave

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

I would be so pissed! I would have probably just had a dumbfounded look on my face!!! LOL I would make DH deal with it though since it's his family.

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

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Posted by mybabylovesmoi

WTH!!!!!!!!!!!! I would be absolutley speechless and pi$$ed...that is sooo rude!

How did you even respond?!

I would change the locks after they leave

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I would serious change the locks. Oooooopsss!!

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

i would change the lock snow and let them know to please give back all copies of the keys they had made and explain why.
i guess i would grudgingly let them stay for the 2 weeks but i would be upset

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

ITA with everyone about the key - that's ridiculous

with the length of time they're staying though, if it's that you only see them a couple of times a year, I think you have to suck it up to save the peace IMO - at least that's what i would do.

i would probably make a ridiculous joke and say something like - so can i have a copy of your house key, ss card, license, etc.? but make it a joke so your point gets across without hurting anyone's feelings (too badly at least )

this doesn't phase me so much because when DH and I bought our house we gave each set of parents a house key for emergencies. they never come to my house without telling one of us their purpose for being there, if any, and we decide what we think is valid. i think if my ILs or parents lived far away though, I'd feel differently. i dunno - it's a tough spot either way.

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

That's freaking ballsey that they made the extra key. I understand if you allow them to have 1 copy of the key in case of an emergency if they live by. But what the he-ll?! You have every right to be pissed thats you're home,its rude to just invite yourself to stay an extra week w/o asking first! I'd have DH explain to them that they can't stay there the extra week that you both have your own things to attend to etc... and change the freaking locks.

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

I'd change that lock ASAP. I'd let them stay (2 weeks! I'd kill myself AND DH), but I'd let them know they must contribute for cleaning lady and groceries, as you are not a hotel and 'you went ahead and booked one, I hope you don't mind'

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

Thanks guys

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who would be pizzed. I mean, I really really don't mind when they come to visit, but they are not coming to visit us, they are coming down here to work and basically use us like a hotel, which just isn't cool in my book.

When SFIL said his statement about about coming down in oct, I looked around for DH (who was outside) and then was like 'uh, uh, uh, I'll have to talk to DH'. I just felt really trapped, I think it was more the way he asked, or actually, didn't really ask at all, just assumed.

And I guess I shouldn't mind if they have a key, but they are definitely the type of people that if they were in town or even just driving through would stop in without saying a thing and think it was OK. Our neighbors have emergency keys and I'm totally cool with that because I know they won't just randomly come over uninvited

thanks for the advice girls. You guys are the best.

sorry edited for terrible english

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

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Posted by IrishAli



I'd change that lock ASAP. I'd let them stay (2 weeks! I'd kill myself AND DH), but I'd let them know they must contribute for cleaning lady and groceries, as you are not a hotel and 'you went ahead and booked one, I hope you don't mind'

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I told DH that if they wanted to pay half the rent for the month of Oct, then they could do what they wanted he wasn't thrilled with me when I said that.

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

But they are eating your food?

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

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Posted by IrishAli

But they are eating your food?

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They bought some of their own stuff, and she's been buying stuff to cook us dinner, so yes and no.

Another thing I forgot to mention, she has been going into our bedroom every day to make our bed!!! ***! I have even closed my door every morning.

And yesterday I came home to find my laundry done and the woman FOLDED MY UNDERWEAR.

I am just at a loss right now.

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

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Posted by Chanwich

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Posted by IrishAli

But they are eating your food?

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They bought some of their own stuff, and she's been buying stuff to cook us dinner, so yes and no.

Another thing I forgot to mention, she has been going into our bedroom every day to make our bed!!! ***! I have even closed my door every morning.

And yesterday I came home to find my laundry done and the woman FOLDED MY UNDERWEAR.

I am just at a loss right now.

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Just be happy she doesn't live closer! MY MIL lives next door and I ave learned to pick my battles. She can be intrusive but has gotten better with slight hints from me.

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

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Posted by Chanwich

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Posted by IrishAli

But they are eating your food?

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They bought some of their own stuff, and she's been buying stuff to cook us dinner, so yes and no.

Another thing I forgot to mention, she has been going into our bedroom every day to make our bed!!! ***! I have even closed my door every morning.

And yesterday I came home to find my laundry done and the woman FOLDED MY UNDERWEAR.

I am just at a loss right now.

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i think what you ahve to remember is that this is your DH's mother. she's just doing 'motherly' things while you guys are working - she probably misses it since he's been out of her house for so long

my MIL is exactly the same way - every time DH goes 'home' to pick something up or whatever from my ILs house, he comes home with tissues and bounty. like, do they think i dont buy tissues and bounty for their sonny boy? it's jsut their thing - ive learned not to argue about it. one time she told me i wasn't buying the right cough medicine for her son and that's when i lost it. i'll keep my mouth shut about the bounty though - yay free paper towels

Re: IL Vent/ HELP!

also, you might want to have DH talk to her about the bed making thing. if you've shut the door, that means u dont want anyone in there. i would not approach taht myself though id let DH do it