what are the five things you wish you knew before your wedding?(bump for 09's)

the boards are bit slow...so I figured this would help the new girls!

1.Photographer is the vendor you will care about the most.
If there is a problem with food or flowers you won't care 6 months later...but if you don't like your photos you will be sad.

2. Buy a bra before a dress
Someone posted this and it was such good advice.

3. Keep your flowers in the shade
I had to do an emergency run into King Kullen to replace the wilted.
4. Don't wear your bride shoes on a wet lawn.

5. Don't forget to drink water...my lips got stuck during my ceremony!

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Posted by marriedinmontauk

the boards are bit slow...so I figured this would help the new girls!

1.Photographer is the vendor you will care about the most.
If there is a problem with food or flowers you won't care 6 months later...but if you don't like your photos you will be sad.

2. Buy a bra before a dress
Someone posted this and it was such good advice.

3. Keep your flowers in the shade
I had to do an emergency run into King Kullen to replace the wilted.
4. Don't wear your bride shoes on a wet lawn.

5. Don't forget to drink water...my lips got stuck during my ceremony!

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so true about photography.

As far as a bra, i didnt even wear one and its weird bc ive never NOT worn a bra. Im a D cup and its impossible to not wear one, even around the house i HAVE to wear one. But when my dress came in, i tried it on without my bra bc the bra i had was showing too much and i wanted to get the exact look i would have day of. But i didnt think about the fact that i would be fitted according to how i am without a bra. So 2nd fitting when i had a bra on it was too tight on top. I was VERY VERY nervous about this for a sec but it was fitted so well on top that it actually worked and kept them in place so well.

what if you get a bra beforehand, and the bra doesnt go with the dress, like if you have a scoop in the back, which i did then the bra would show

Ok well I'm not married yet...BUT here are 5 things I wish I knew before I started planning....

1- DO NOT tell anyone about any extras at the wedding bc then ppl expect it...we told everyone about the cigar roller then turned out we couldn't do it but guests keep saying they are excited about it so now we are setting up a cigar table so they're not let down.

2- Don't choose your bridal party IMMEDIATELY especially if you have a long engagement. A lot can change.

3- Look into several vendors before you put a deposit down. I was SURE I chose the perfect photo but was unaware of some details.

4- Don't send STD's or have an engagement party far before the wedding...again...a lot can change over a long period of time and then you HAVE to invite those ppl

5- Start buying the little things right away...RB pillow, pew bows, shoes, unity candle etc. I did this and if I didn't, I'd be scrambling and spending big $$ right about now

i guess these are the 5 things i wish i knew before my wedding.

1-The biggest thing is to remember what the day is about, dont lose sight of this bc the whole point of our weddings is that we are marrying the love of our life and our best friend. Don't drive yourself crazy about things that you wont even notice day of and definitely things that won't make or break your day. Yes small details are great, if you have the time and money then go for it but dont drive yourself crazy and dont think your wedding wont be as great if you dont have petal cones, bathroom baskets or anything like that lol, trust me it will be great regardless. I was a lil upset i never got the chance to do the placecards i really wanted to do and the funny thing is that the day of my wedding i never saw my placecard table and honestly i didnt even care anymore

2-make sure you plan out your day well and do a good time line, dont drive yourself crazy that morning. I hear about so many brides who have to rush, are doing too much the morning of, or even rushing through pics and many having to be pulled out during the reception to take additional pics, dont let this happen-spend the whole time at your reception enjoying it. The morning of my wedding i had such a calm relaxing day. I had plenty of time and didnt rush around at all, even had time to just sit around and do nothing. Pictures were not rushed and we took pics for 2 hours. Even got to Rh about 30-45 mins before CH

3-very important-say your hello's quickly and even if you have to go to your CH do that. I didnt go to my CH and it would've gone alot quicker if dh didnt feel the need to have long conversations with everybody. It goes by SOOO quick. After entrances, first dance, speeches, then eating, next thing you know its half way through and you feel like it just begun. Mingle with guests on the dance floor if you have to, and have fun.

4-whatever happens will happen-DONT STRESS. You can't control weather, you cant control small things going wrong and stressing it wont change a thing. You'll just remember being upset the day of your wedding, make the best of it. The day of my wedding i seriously didnt care to know about any details, i let my vendors do their job, its what i hired them to do and didnt feel the need to be OCD and still be in planning mode. We go through enough during planning so we deserve to enjoy the day. Even right before the wedding don't stress everything. Yes guests will rsvp late, but in the end you will have your headcount. Yes, you will have guests who rsvp yes then say no and drive you nuts, and you might have to do your seating chart over but it will be ok its not the end of the world and things can be fixed easily. Yes your family and friends might drive you crazy but the day is not about them so dont let it be. Let them be crazy and rude and complain, dont even pay attention to it and just continue doing what you're doing. The day of your wedding, all the craziness you dealt with beforehand will all be worth it and won't even matter to you anymore. Also im sorry but dont stress what others will wear and get so involved inthis and add more stress to yourself. TRUST me that the color of bm's shoes wont matter the day of your wedding, your wedding is not ruined if a bm wears gold shoes instead of the silver you wanted. To tell you the truth, i didnt even see what shoes my bm's wore the day of the wedding, you cant even see it in the pics and doesnt matter at all. Dont drive yourself nuts about what color your mother is wearing, FMIL is wearing, how everyone else is doing their hair. Its really unnecessary stress you'll cause yourself and again things that dont even matter the day of.

5-One thing i see brides upset about after their wedding is not having certain pics. Such as their invites, DIY projects. So if your photographer is coming to your house morning of, then have these things ready for them to photograph. Make a list of those you HAVE to have a pic with such as grandmothers, mother alone, moh alone, special family members. Ask them to take pics of CH, to take pics of all your small details. The rest let them do their job and capture the moments as they happen. You dont have to recreate a moment somebody else had at their wedding, that was special to them bc it was an actual moment, for example a photographer catching a moment where the groom kisses the bride when nobody is looking, you dont need to recreate someones spontaneous moment, you will have your own. But as far as people you need to have pics with, and things you need photographed, definitely dont forget this. Be vocal about what you want.

most importantly, truly enjoy your day

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by marriedinmontauk

the boards are bit slow...so I figured this would help the new girls!

1.Photographer is the vendor you will care about the most.
If there is a problem with food or flowers you won't care 6 months later...but if you don't like your photos you will be sad.

2. Buy a bra before a dress
Someone posted this and it was such good advice.

3. Keep your flowers in the shade
I had to do an emergency run into King Kullen to replace the wilted.
4. Don't wear your bride shoes on a wet lawn.

5. Don't forget to drink water...my lips got stuck during my ceremony!

---

so true about photography.

As far as a bra, i didnt even wear one and its weird bc ive never NOT worn a bra. Im a D cup and its impossible to not wear one, even around the house i HAVE to wear one. But when my dress came in, i tried it on without my bra bc the bra i had was showing too much and i wanted to get the exact look i would have day of. But i didnt think about the fact that i would be fitted according to how i am without a bra. So 2nd fitting when i had a bra on it was too tight on top. I was VERY VERY nervous about this for a sec but it was fitted so well on top that it actually worked and kept them in place so well.

what if you get a bra beforehand, and the bra doesnt go with the dress, like if you have a scoop in the back, which i did then the bra would show

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laughing as I read your post..this sounds like me. I am DD and ALWAYS have to wear a bra but I don't have to with my wedding dress..it holds them perfectly.. HAHA!!!

thanks this is great! even if you know some info.. it's always appreciated to be reminded

one more thing...besides photos, the other thing that you will really remember is how your dress fit.
Go with the best alterations you can. Brides who were not happy with how their dress fit really remember it.
If you get your dress from a discount place or DB, I say it is worth it to get it altered someplace else.
A great seamstress can make a less expensive dress look perfect.
Trust me on this one. It's worth the splurge.

1. Don't Over Spend on the DJ...we spent about $3000 on ours because of all the fancy upgrades...plasmas, lights, etc...they did a good job and it looked great but it turned out they were rude to us and even my BIL at the wedding. I wish I only spent the bare minimum.

2. Don't Over Stress Over the Music. I spent a lot of time and stressed over the ceremony music selections and the reception playlist and honestly, no one's going to remember the music. Before the wedding I thought I'd be heartbroken if the DJ didn't play certain fav songs of mine, the day of when a few weren't played, I didn't even notice.

3. Don't Over Buy: Favors, Invitations, various supplies, etc. I was so worried I wouldn't have enough that I ended up with 30 extra favors, probably like 50 extra invites, extra save the dates, leftover rice bags, tons of extra craft supplies from Michaels...luckily some supplies I handed over to my FSIL when she got engaged but still, I really wasted money.

4. Don't Stop & Chat Too Often: I feel like I spent most of my reception chatting with people, most of whom skipped out on my church ceremony. If I could go back, if they weren't there for the receiving line, then too bad I'm enjoying my reception.

5. Don't Worry Be Happy: I was so stressed most of the planning process, I can kick myself not for enjoying it more. I now look back at my engagement as a mostly miserable time, I was so worried about every little detail, nothing went wrong that I worried about, and anything that did go wrong was beyond my control anyway.

Do any of you regret inviting people just bc you felt obligated to...people that you had remotely no relationship with or people who you didnt even know??

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

Do any of you regret inviting people just bc you felt obligated to...people that you had remotely no relationship with or people who you didnt even know??

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No regrets there...considering we didn't even meet our minimum I wish we'd invited more people we aren't close to.

Keep in mind there are people you think are close to you that may end up not coming to your wedding. Everyone I know that's gotten married has people like that drop off the face of the earth. It kind of shows you what you mean to people...sure there are distant relatives and acquaintances you may not know but at least they're there sharing in your special day with you.

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

Do any of you regret inviting people just bc you felt obligated to...people that you had remotely no relationship with or people who you didnt even know??

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not at all, honestly you are so happy the day of your wedding that you're just so happy to share it with others whether real close or not. Its funny bc i had some that i wasnt real close with and they were so amazing and nice and really excited for us. Sometimes its those guest who will act even more excited hahahaha. The day of my wedding i was hugging and kissing everybody like i knew them forever. Once someone came up i was like 'OH HI so great to see you and all excited' youre on such a high that you do this. ANd normally i am NOT like this hahaha. I remember another bride writing the EXACT same thing.

its not the people you invite whom you dont know well that will disappoint you or regret inviting them. Its those that are close to you sometimes that might show their true colors and disappoint you. I didnt really have this happen, but for DH it did happen. Its weird in some situations to see those whom you aren't the closest with do more and act more excited than others whom you are close to and would expect it.

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

Do any of you regret inviting people just bc you felt obligated to...people that you had remotely no relationship with or people who you didnt even know??

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I already know I will but there are just some people that you can't not invite!

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Posted by MyLobster

Ok well I'm not married yet...BUT here are 5 things I wish I knew before I started planning....

1- DO NOT tell anyone about any extras at the wedding bc then ppl expect it...we told everyone about the cigar roller then turned out we couldn't do it but guests keep saying they are excited about it so now we are setting up a cigar table so they're not let down.

2- Don't choose your bridal party IMMEDIATELY especially if you have a long engagement. A lot can change.

3- Look into several vendors before you put a deposit down. I was SURE I chose the perfect photo but was unaware of some details.

4- Don't send STD's or have an engagement party far before the wedding...again...a lot can change over a long period of time and then you HAVE to invite those ppl

5- Start buying the little things right away...RB pillow, pew bows, shoes, unity candle etc. I did this and if I didn't, I'd be scrambling and spending big $$ right about now

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Number 1 & 2 are so true! If I could start all over I would so downsize my bridal party. I am having such a big issue finding limos and dresses and putting a lot of unecessary stress on this whole process.

And I learned reaaaaal quick to keep my mouth shut about EVERYTHING about my wedding. I just told my bridal party the wedding date only because they need to start dress shopping and work with the MOH on bridal shower stuff. I have had my date since February! There are some mean people out there WAITING to talk s**t about your day. Any info is given on an as needed basis.

i'd agree with waiting on asking your BP... I asked people the night I got engaged and it was a mistake for the most part. I ended up losing one BM (definitely for the best), adding one BM 9 months after I got engaged and 6 months before the wedding (best thing i ever did -- and before I lost the other BM) and I couldn't be happier with my bridal party on my wedding day.

my only regret is that I asked girl 1, and waited to ask girl 2. don't rush with the BP stuff!!!!

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Posted by bluegreen08

i'd agree with waiting on asking your BP... I asked people the night I got engaged and it was a mistake for the most part. I ended up losing one BM (definitely for the best), adding one BM 9 months after I got engaged and 6 months before the wedding (best thing i ever did -- and before I lost the other BM) and I couldn't be happier with my bridal party on my wedding day.

my only regret is that I asked girl 1, and waited to ask girl 2. don't rush with the BP stuff!!!!

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either way its not easy. I was told to wait to ask the bridal party bc things can quickly change and after you are engaged you see peoples true colors bc you get to see who really is happy for you and will be there for you and who won't. So i waited, but then i had ppl asking me about this alot and telling me i need to ask soon and that people need to save from ahead of time. But i guess in the end it did work out for me bc i know ppl always say that big bridal parties just cause headaches but i honestly had none at all. I had 9 girls and dh had 11 guys. I had not one problem with any of my girls. There was no problems with getting bm dresses, we picked it in half an hour. None of them gave me a problem about it. It was funny bc it was my bm's who started harassing me about us going to look at bm dresses and that we need to do it soon. SO finally after being told alot we finally went hahaha. They were great and didnt cause any problems at all, not for the shower or bp or anyting wedding related. Infact they kept asking me if im sure that its ok they can do whatever they want with their hair bc if not to let them know and it would be ok if i had a preference, i kept saying just do what you want. Same with shoes, they asked a few times if they really could get whatever they want and i kept having to say that i trust their style and im sure they will look great so to go with what they like.

So definitely wait until you find out peoples reactions and seeing who is there for you and who has no interest in your wedding. But also give them enough time to save money.

This is all very helpful! Thanks

1. I wish I had known that my food would be taken off my table if I didnt get to it fast enough. I wish I had asked for more food fromt he cocktail hour.

2. I wish I had known that certain people were going to be no shows, I could have replaced them with other people I wanted to invite but couldnt.

3. That I didnt need 200 chinese takeout boxes for over 200 people...we still have damn near 100 of these things with our labels still on them.

4. That my DJ (one of DH's best friends) was going to forget my song list at home! along with our instrumentals for introductions

5. That all the things I stressed about before the wedding weren't really going to matter to me the day of

1. The wedding lasts 5 hours, the marriage lasts a lifetime. Remember this before you get caught up in the wedding drama.

2. Make sure your BM is FULLY aware of any special requests-we had a kosher style wedding with 150 temple members alone, not counting the rest of the family. Needless to say, MIL had a nervous breakdown when she saw shrimp on the sushi buffet.

3. Don't overdo the DIYs-I still get annoyed at myself when I see the massive amount of programs that I have left over and can do nothing with!

4. Don't be lured in by every extra that your BH has. We went with the wedding cake and a plated dessert and trust me, no one finished either!!!!

5. If you have special requests/play it and die songs, kindly hand your DJ another copy that day-This way there is no question as to what they should be playing when. Maybe then i would have wound up with the correct cake cutting song!

And I am adding a 6.-Revert to 1: Don't let the wedding get bigger than the marriage. We will be married a year in 2 months from now. Does this make me the wedding expert? No. But I do know that after the flowers dry up, the TYs are written, your album and video (neither which you will really watch or look at if you are anything like me, unless trying to torture houseguests) are picked up, and your dress is put away in a dark closet, you will have each other....and everything that goes with it. And this is the best thing ever and the thing everyone should know!