Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

Thanks everybody!

Mrs.C, I have to say, I felt your response to me was a little condescending and judgemental.

First of all, after being together for almost 3 years now, I'm very familiar with the lingo. I even have a pair of panties that say 10-63 on them! (Cops wives will know what I mean...) When he doesn't understand me, he says, '10-5?' He's told me to 'disregard' a few times too! It's so funny because the lingo just pops out and even takes him by surprise.

He also has familiarized me with his gun (no pun intended), and I know ALL about it and I also know I have NO intention of getting excited about weapons and ammo. That's HIS area of interest and expertise and aside from maybe learning to shoot it one day, for safety reasons, I'd rather keep it at a distance.

I completely and totally respect my DHs job. He's got a ton of medals, has gotten awards, and was involved in a major shooting where he saved his partner's life. Him and his partner were resposible for the most arrests in one year at their old precinct in a very bad and dangerous neighborhood in the Bronx. He's been shot at almost daily. He's had people try to kill him while he stood on foot post by throwing bricks, air conditioners and whatever else they could find out of their windows at him. (But cops are the brutal ones, right?) I am proud of him and honored to be his wife. Thankfully he works in a different precinct now, as a Sergeant.

I know how being a cop means being a cop ALL the time. That doesn't mean I enjoy being left out of conversations, or having to smile and nod politely for hours while quietly enduring endless conversations about horrible Lieutenants and Captains, or how this one at work is a lesbian, or that one is nuts. I also find a lot of their conversations to be negative and lack compassion for others.

I've tried several times to change the subject at these functions. Sometimes, though, I don't feel it's my place to change the subject. I'm in the minority at these things, so why would they WANT to talk about something else? They're obviously enjoying themselves. At the last function someone finally asked me a personal question, and actually showed some interest. It was ... 'Are you a cop, too?' ARRRRGGHHHHH!!!

And personally, I was a little offended by your suggestion that I was the boring one. I am a highly intelligent and interesting person, and can carry on a conversation about anything with anyone. If they can't talk about anything else but their jobs, it makes THEM the boring ones. Not me.

Shamee, I hear you about the control issue stuff. I was with someone in the past who was a complete control freak! OMG! I could never tolerate that! Thankfully, my DH is the total opposite. I think being a Harley man frees his spirit. Other than being a little protective and thinking I'll be in danger if I'm out past dark (LOL), he lets me be who I am and doesn't try to control me at all. We compliment each other nicely. I help free his soul a little, and show him the lighter side of life. He grounds me, and helps me to be a lot less naieve. And about the danger stuff, I just remind him that I had a life before he came along, and I managed perfectly fine to keep myself alive, thank you. I would never be able to be with a controlling man again! I was SO unhappy back then..

Thanks everybody for your responses..

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

Wait one more comment............... I just went to a 10-13 party last week and like, TammyJill, I tend to stay with the wives and we have our own conversation.

I happen to work as an attorney for the City and I defend Police Officers, understand the lingo etc...but it is just like anything else, when my husband is with me and my college friends, he has to listen to stroies he knows nothing about, same with most circles taht existed before him so just try to make the best of it. Stick with the other wives. They will save you!!

10-4

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

LOL!! A 10-13 party!

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

I never heard 10-13 before
what does that mean?

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

Yeah, stop messing with the rest of us languagely challenged civilians. Give us the 411 on the 10-14, 10-15, and the 10-10-2-20!!b

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

shamee- I am a NYPD wife and I never heard 10-13 before

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

Officer needs assistance... as in a benfit party. Just confirmed!

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

Thanks!

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

10-4. Affirmative! Why do I feel more like smokey the bandit than Chips??

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

While I'm not married to a cop, my mom was, and she felt the same way I don't have any real advice, but wanted to let you know you're certainly not alone!

My mom hated going to those types of gatherings. All the wifes would be forced together, regardless if they wanted to go or had anything in common with the other women, and all the men chatted about cop things all day.....kind of like an adult fraternity!

In that way, I have first hand experience with this - my DH was in a fraternity and throughout college we'd hang out with his brothers all teh time - whenever they'd talk about Greek stuff I HATED it! I had #1 nothing to add #2 couldn't follow and #3 was bored to tears! I then learned to change the subject or leave the conversation

Hang in there

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

Shamee - your humor is getting me thru this day! Thank you!

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

OMG too funny everybody!!! Reading your posts I realized I had a Type-O in mine!!! The panties don't say 10-13, they say 10-63!!!

Although 10-13 is appropriate, too! LOL!!

Disregard the 10-13, Central.

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

KAREN
I dont know 10-63 either
what is that???

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

OMG! 10-63! That's hysterical. I'll let you say what it means bc I know there are inquiring minds!!!

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

Sorry Tammy,

10-63 means MEAL! LOL!!!

So when an officer goes on his meal break, it's a 10-63.

Maybe you should bring it up with hubby tonight!

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

I am LMAO

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

LOL
thats hysterical your panties say that

He calls and says he is on meal, never said numbers to me!

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

By the way, you can get the panties at a uniform store that carries police equipment. If you dare....

My DH bought them for me, so I can't give you any advice on how to proceed.

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

too funny!

Re: A Question for Police Wives (and anyone else who wants to answer)...

I needed a good laugh today. Thanks ladies! Maybe there IS a lighter side to be a police wife!!