Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Original post by wacky

Mar 01, 2004 01:11 PM

I know I kid alot about how annoying they are, but I think Im really scared about being prego, mom, wife. etc

Anyone else?

Cira Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:17 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Posted by Teri

I'm already scared of giving birth! The whole idea is very overwhelming, even when you really want children....you're life as you know it changes forever and that's scary in itself!

I guess few are ever really 100% ready....you just have to decide if you want it and then hope and pray it's the right time and that everything will work out on it's own

Same here. I know I want them ... I just am waiting for a better time for Rob and I, i.e - finish school, save a little bit more money, finish the house.

But how do I know ... I just have this maternal bug. I ache for a child, when I see one. Does that make sense?

wacky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:21 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Cira, I think it makes sense. You may not be at the point in your life, but you know that its something you def want

Anna stated about not being around children and in our family thats just it. We dont have many kids, I dont feel like Im missing something per say

Its a tough call I think. And honestly, I dont think I would be able to stay at home $$$ and the whole working 40 hrs and being a mom, just doesnt jive with me

februarybride Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:34 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I am completely terrified of giving birth! Besides that I'm scared of being a bad parent and having bad kids. I know that is a terrible thing to say but I see my DH's aunt who is such a good mom and her kids are so out of control.

shamma Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:41 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

The funny thing is I am so scared of the birth more than I am the raising part *shurgs* who knows why anyway, as much as Roger and I were ready, when I saw the positive I was crying my eyes out and saying no, no this cannot be true, don't ask me why

Then I called my prayer partner and she calmed me down then the feeling of being so blessed came over me and such joy, that I cannot even explain. I love the baby and I don't even feel pregnant yet. I know I have the support around me and I know God does not give us more than we can handle so I am ready. Well I better be

shamma Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:44 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Posted by februarybride

I am completely terrified of giving birth! Besides that I'm scared of being a bad parent and having bad kids. I know that is a terrible thing to say but I see my DH's aunt who is such a good mom and her kids are so out of control.

forgot to say this scares me too, they end up with minds of their own and they become an embarrassment. All I can do is hope and pray. oh my

februarybride Posted: Mar 01, 2004 02:44 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Posted by shamma

The funny thing is I am so scared of the birth more than I am the raising part *shurgs* who knows why anyway, as much as Roger and I were ready, when I saw the positive I was crying my eyes out and saying no, no this cannot be true, don't ask me why

Then I called my prayer partner and she calmed me down then the feeling of being so blessed came over me and such joy, that I cannot even explain. I love the baby and I don't even feel pregnant yet. I know I have the support around me and I know God does not give us more than we can handle so I am ready. Well I better be

Oh Shamma! I wish I could be so positive about things as you are. You're so inspirational God Bless!

070502 Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:33 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Not at all. I just hope one day I can.

The part that scares me is raising them while dh is active duty and not around all the time to help me and having family very far away at the same time!

wacky Posted: Mar 01, 2004 03:36 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

We need a support group..... That would be great,

shamma Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:38 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Wacky, family and friends are a great group of support, they helped in easing a lot of my fears.

ddunne23 Posted: Mar 01, 2004 04:55 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I'm scared of the world my child will face. Yeah, the actual birthing part is kind of scary but I find comfort in that people all over the world do it every day and bounce back fairly easily. So the physical pain I think I can deal with. It is just one of those things you don't have a choice about. What scares me is the news and how innocent children are abused, abducted and even worse. I hope that I do not become an overly nervous mother, which I know to some point is inevitable. I'm also worried about finances after the baby. Do I continue to work and enable us to continue our level of lifestyle with dinner out, etc. or do I stop working and we are forced to stick to a VERY strick budget. I'm pretty sure I want the second option, but a change that huge in lifestyle is what scares me most. Not monetary, but the idea that it is not about me anymore, but about the baby.

kmcwed Posted: Mar 01, 2004 05:01 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Sonicstef Posted: Mar 01, 2004 05:02 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I wonder how SAHM handle retirement savings. Its one thing to cut back on the general living expenses but how do you prepare for when you are no longer able to work if you have no income. Am I the only one who thinks I will never see a penny of that social security money Ive been pumping into the system?

I think having the option of staying home is wonderful but I cant imagine being able to afford it.

I don't want to live to regret NOT having a child. But at the same time, I don't want to regret having one either

This is my biggest fear too. That I will wait too long and then regret not having a child and it will be too late to do anything about it.

ddunne23 Posted: Mar 01, 2004 05:10 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Posted by kmcwed

I think a lot of women cry when they first find out they're pregnant. Even if it's something that was planned and longed for, the reality of it can be overwhelming.

While it's the beginning of wonderful new chapter in a woman's life, it's also the ending of another one. Finding out your going to have a baby is like closing one door and opening another. I think it's what's behind the closed door that makes you cry. It might be an unfinished degree, or an unpursued dream. It may be the freedom you and DH shared. It might be your identity as a young, independant woman who is now going to be a 'Mother' with the greatest responsibility on earth.

I think it's a lot like getting married, only on a bigger scale. When we all got married, we closed one door to open another. As great as getting married was, I know I definitely felt a sense of loss -- loss of my single-hood, loss of some friends, loss of my family in the way I had known and lived with them all of my life, etc.

.

I absolutely agree! You described it perfectly for me. While we are so excited to be expecting a baby, part of me thinks when did I get to this place in my life where I am procreating! No more spontaneous happy hours, no more calling in sick to work and having the day to myself. It is just hard to imagine your life turned totally around. I know the rewards will far out weigh my sadness of night being able to drink mojitos on the patio after work, but it is the numerous changes to these little parts of your life that just freak me out.

deedee Posted: Mar 01, 2004 05:19 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

my biggest fear is needles. I know that I will be a nightmare prego. I am a baby when I don't feel well and I hate going to the doctor.
So with that being said-so scared! But I keep telling myself that when I am ready to have a baby ,I probably won't even care about those consequences- I will probably be overjoyed that we were blessed! i hope...

yabbobay Posted: Mar 01, 2004 05:26 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I have every fear that has been mentioned here

while I had a slight case of baby fever...it has now passed...and I think...what if I did become PG? and now I'm not ready?

I used to think that I should do it now - just in case I cannot when I am older...but I think I will just cross that bridge when I come to it...

minniebride14 Posted: Mar 01, 2004 06:16 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

ME!!!!!!! i am!!

antoinette Posted: Mar 01, 2004 06:42 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I am too very very scared although I do want kids I just dont think Im ready for them yet. If it happens it happens and we will of course make do but I cant see myself changing my lifestyle completely just yet. Im still getting uesd to being married and making our own way. I often wonder if one day I will just wake up and say to dh ' Today is the day babe, lets get started '

Tammy5-03 Posted: Mar 01, 2004 07:03 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Definitely. I'm scared of being pregnant and all the things that can go wrong. I'm not as afraid of giving birth just because I think it will be a relief. I worry about having enough time for my kids. I talk a lot of trash about moms with rotten kids, what if I get a real brat. It goes on and on. I do know that I want to be a mom, I'm just afraid of the type of mom I will be.

MrsTC Posted: Mar 01, 2004 07:04 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I am scared of the financial impact and I always think how will I know what to do when they are born? A friend of mine recently had her first baby and when I see them together - she's like an old pro! Human nature

spel Posted: Mar 01, 2004 07:10 PM

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

i'm very scared of actually being pregnant- the exams, the needles, praying that the baby is healthy...

but i long for a child. i am so looking forward to having a family. of course i'm scared like everyone else. but other couples have babies on very small salaries, they struggle, they change their lifestyle, they put off the retirement savings account, so if they can afford it, then i can too.

i think about having children pretty regularly. i am really looking forward to it. i don't know if i'll ever feel truly ready, but i'll have babies regardless, and work really hard at being a wonderful mom.