Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by kmcwed


While it's the beginning of wonderful new chapter in a woman's life, it's also the ending of another one. Finding out your going to have a baby is like closing one door and opening another. I think it's what's behind the closed door that makes you cry. It might be an unfinished degree, or an unpursued dream. It may be the freedom you and DH shared. It might be your identity as a young, independant woman who is now going to be a 'Mother' with the greatest responsibility on earth.

I think it's a lot like getting married, only on a bigger scale. When we all got married, we closed one door to open another. As great as getting married was, I know I definitely felt a sense of loss -- loss of my single-hood, loss of some friends, loss of my family in the way I had known and lived with them all of my life, etc.

I'm still undecided about children myself. Part of me thinks it would be great. Another part (the louder part!) thinks I'm just not ready or willing yet. The thing that terrifies me the most is regret. I don't want to live to regret NOT having a child. But at the same time, I don't want to regret having one either....

Obviously, I'm not ready.

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Karen...I totally relate.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I usually look at people in a worst position than we are and I say, they handle it, so can we. I believe anything is possible and doable, we are humans and we are resilient and we always find a way.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by kmcwed


But at the same time, I don't want to regret having one either....

Obviously, I'm not ready.

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Does anyone know of anyone who regrets having a child?

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by Sonicstef



This is my biggest fear too. That I will wait too long and then regret not having a child and it will be too late to do anything about it.

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Don't worry... there's no such thing as 'too late' anymore. Science being what it is, you could probably become pregnant in a nursing home soon.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Yes, I know several women who regret having children. They are still good mothers and love their children but they just felt it was the wrong decision for them. And I suspect there are many women who feel that way but just wont admit it b/c it makes them look bad.

As far as it being never too late ... thats not true. I know several older (not that old, just older than me) who have told me in a very panic'd way that I should take advantage of my age b/c they waited too long and now they cant have children. Its really sad when someone tells me that...and ive heard the same thing a few times already. Essentially that they believed they had more time and by the time they realized they didnt it was too late.

And of course Ive seen wonderful situations too where the baby is the biggest blessing ever and it makes a couple even happier and closer than ever.

So ive seen all sides and I still am clueless.

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Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I'm scared of giving birth, and that I will not know when I am 'ready' to be a mom. I am also scared of when children start to grow up...those preteen-teen years. There is so much to worry about! However, I am also sure that it is the most rewarding experience too.

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Posted by franksbride

I too am petrified of actually GIVING BIRTH...the pain and the thought of it all scares me to no end...

I'm not so much afraid of having children, raising them, etc. etc...it's the 9 months of carrying around a life inside my body and then having to get it out that really petrifies me...

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I could have written this post!

I don't think we'll ever know if we're ready to have kids. I do know that right now, and probably for the next 3-4 years, we won't be ready financially or otherwise. We have too much going on right now to even consider a baby.

I do think that we would be good parents, but I sometimes worry that I don't have enough patience.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I am afraid of everything regarding having kids. Being pregnant, raising them, even afraid about wanting or not wanting kids!
I am so not sure right now. Being responsible for another person's life is so overwhelming - I feel like I can barely take care of myself at this point let alone a baby! I know things change when it happens to you.

I also wonder how all my friends are influencing me. I have friends who have babies and I have friends that are pregnant right now. Sometimes, seeing them makes me want to have a baby. Then I have other friends who are still single and having a great time and I want to not have a baby.
We're waiting until we're both 30 before talking about it, but that's only 1 1/2 years away! Time goes so fast!

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Me!Me!Me! I'm soooooo afraid of the whole thing!! I haven't really thought about it much until recently when we decided that next fall (right after I student teach) we will TTC. It is so scary for me. First of all I'm scared to death to be pregnant. I HATE giving blood (have been know to pass out), I had a heart sonogram once and almost passed out again (didn't like the sound) I dread getting an IV when I give birth and I hate hospitals. Don't know how I'll get through it. THEN when you bring the child home I'm afraid I won't know what to do. The whole thing scares me Luckily my sister in law and brother had a baby last year and they seem to be adjusting very well. I guess in the end it all comes together

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I'm definitely scared but I think that's normal.

The pain doesn't really scare me because there's nothing I can do about it. There is no stork, there are no baby seeds I can plant in my garden, I can't buy a baby at Target. If I want a biological child it's got to come out of me and that's all there is to it. Women with less resources, support, and options have done it for a gizillion years. I'll survive.

The part that scares me the most is raising them. There's no instruction book in the afterbirth. Talk about on the job training. I want kids though, so I'll just have to figure it out!

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I'm not scared to have kids, I think I'm more afraid of actually being PREGNANT! That freaks me out the most!!!

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I am not scared to have them or be pregnant. I just hope I can be as wonderful as my mom was to my sister and I!

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I am pregnant now and I can say honestly say that I'm scared. For some reason I am not scared of childbirth.

I am scared though of being a good mom. Will I be able to handle working, motherhood, home, husband, chores and still be a good mother?

I wasn't 'ready' for my baby. We were going to try and wait another year but every time I worry and feel like I'm not ready I think about some of the girls here who have been trying for so long and I know that I am blessed to have it happen so fast and without trying. I also know that God will work out my finances, and even my work situation and that I love this baby already. I think there is never a right time (unless your a millionaire) but when it happens you just move mountains because the baby comes first.

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Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by ILT1221

I am pregnant now and I can say honestly say that I'm scared. For some reason I am not scared of childbirth.

I am scared though of being a good mom. Will I be able to handle working, motherhood, home, husband, chores and still be a good mother?

I wasn't 'ready' for my baby. We were going to try and wait another year but every time I worry and feel like I'm not ready I think about some of the girls here who have been trying for so long and I know that I am blessed to have it happen so fast and without trying. I also know that God will work out my finances, and even my work situation and that I love this baby already. I think there is never a right time (unless your a millionaire) but when it happens you just move mountains because the baby comes first.

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BRAVO!!!

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Posted by ILT1221

but when it happens you just move mountains because the baby comes first.

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Priceless and so true...

Words that say that you ARE ready, and thats why you were blessed at this time

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I'm not afraid about pregnancy, actually quite excited about it.. or birth, yet anyway, but I'm worried about becoming an overcontrolling, overprotective mother.. esp. with all these animals in the world today.. I just hope that I can raise my children to know right from wrong and with enough trust and guidance that they can come to me for anything...

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Posted by MarcellaBella

I'm not afraid about pregnancy, actually quite excited about it.. or birth, yet anyway, but I'm worried about becoming an overcontrolling, overprotective mother.. esp. with all these animals in the world today.. I just hope that I can raise my children to know right from wrong and with enough trust and guidance that they can come to me for anything...

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Couldn't have said it better