Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Aww thanks everyone...that was from the heart...

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by MarcellaBella
I'm worried about becoming an overcontrolling, overprotective mother.. esp. with all these animals in the world today.. I just hope that I can raise my children to know right from wrong and with enough trust and guidance that they can come to me for anything...

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That's my biggest fear.

The world is a scary, scary, place, and I've learned that the best offense is a good defense. While we can't shield our children from the harsh reality that is this world, we can give them the tools of self respect, morality, self esteem, and courage to see them through to adulthood and beyond.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by kmcwed

I think a lot of women cry when they first find out they're pregnant. Even if it's something that was planned and longed for, the reality of it can be overwhelming.

While it's the beginning of wonderful new chapter in a woman's life, it's also the ending of another one. Finding out your going to have a baby is like closing one door and opening another. I think it's what's behind the closed door that makes you cry. It might be an unfinished degree, or an unpursued dream. It may be the freedom you and DH shared. It might be your identity as a young, independant woman who is now going to be a 'Mother' with the greatest responsibility on earth.

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While I have every ounce of respect for what Karen wrote, I respectfully disagree with her perspective. However, I'll venture to say that's mostly due to the difference between someone who is admittedly not ready for motherhood, and someone who already is.

Bear in mind that I will always be one of the first people over on Parenting to stand up and tell you the honest truth about the ups and downs of Motherhood, so this isn't about sugar-coating anything, or telling someone [with regard to Motherhood] to just 'jump in, the water is FINE!'

However, I just don't think that it really is 'what's behind the closed door' that makes a woman cry when she finds out she's pregnant. First of all, not all women cry. Secondly, IMHPO, there is always room in a person's life for dreams and goals - those are things we should NEVER let go of or lose sight of. One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is a self-fulfilled parent. There are no rules that say you cannot continue that degree after the baby is born....ya get where I'm goin' here?

The truth is, those that do cry just might be crying b/c 'what is behind the door that's about to OPEN!' I personally believe there are more emotionally charged doubts, anxiety and stress involved in the unknowns that come to the surface when a woman is about to become a mother. THAT is what's overwhelming.

But, that's my perspective b/c I'm already on the other side of the 'opening' door....and still pursuing my goals and dreaming my dreams, I might add....

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I agree with you Claud and Karen

Im scared out of my mins, no the pregnancy or birth. We are women and can handle all. Its the whole Mother thing. Parenting is so hard and as Marcella said, I dont want to turn into this lunatic mother because of all the freaks out there.

There are things that have happened to me as a child, that I would kill if they happened to my children. Thats whats scares me, my parents couldnt protect me/or chose not to. Thats my biggest fear, that I wont be able to be a hero to my kids.

What if I fail some how?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by kmcwed

I honestly think my fear of losing those opportunities and dreams stems from not having had a chance to even start pursuing them yet, having spent much of my young life taking care of others and putting my own dreams on hold because of it.

It's only natural that I would fear losing the freedom to pursue my dreams, when I'm such a late bloomer and haven't even BEGUN yet. I'm only starting to taste freedom, and the thought of losing that just makes me freak.

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Girl, go for what your heart truly wants! Don't give up on your dreams...

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

i feel the saem way sometimes!

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I think Karen and Claud both made very good points, both respectable opinions that truly reflect how they feel about it...

It really IS a big change in life, a HUGE step into the next chapter in life, so it SHOULD Be taken very seriously by each person, based on their individual life stories and where they are in life, and whether or not they are ready just yet to raise a family...

Karen-follow your dreams, enjoy your freedom, and pursue your goals, Im sure the baby bug and the mommy bug will one day HIT you on the head and you will be the best mommy ever!

Claud-I felt the same way you did, so here we are juggling all these circus balls at once, but hey, we're managing somehow!

**This is not to say that those non-preggos or those not ready to have children are NOT juggling many tasks... EVeryone should mold their lifestyle into what theyve always dreamed of

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Hi Anna, How do you feel?

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Good, this baby is getting too comfy in there...

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I am afraid that when I start TTC I will have a hard time getting pregnant. I think I am a victim of my generation, hearing so much about infertility and IVF and knowing a few women who have struggled to concieve. That and age makes me sometimes think I had better get trying soon. Luckily I have a wonderful DH who reminds me that we need to be ready to raise a child, not just jump in to make sure we can concieve one. We have decided to enjoy this year after a very hectic and change filled 2003 (marriage, new home, new state, new jobs...) and TTC next year. The thought both excites me and terrifies me. Right now, terrified wins, so we are waiting. We have discussed our options if (God forbid) we have issues when TTC, and that helps, my hubby is very supportive and we know we are in for the journey together.

I find myself so overwhelmed w. the idea of can I get pregnant? that sometime I dont even focus on what comes after, that is SO scary. I have always wanted to have kids, was one of those girls w. the baby dolls. But how can you be sure you are being a good parent?

As for being 'ready' i always used to ask my married friends,'how did you know?' DH and I were together almost 8 years when we got married. I dont know how I knew he was the man I wanted to marry-one day it was so obvious, and I could not imagine I would have ever felt differently. I figure knowing you want to have a baby is a little like that...

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by anna

Good, this baby is getting too comfy in there...

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Oh he/she loves his mommy, thats why so cozy

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by kmcwed

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I am afraid that when I start TTC I will have a hard time getting pregnant. I think I am a victim of my generation, hearing so much about infertility and IVF and knowing a few women who have struggled to concieve. That and age makes me sometimes think I had better get trying soon.

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I feel the same way. I'm turning 35 this summer. I feel like it's NOW or never. It's a difficult way to feel when you don't feel ready NOW, but your body is telling you that you don't have the time to wait.

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THis is very true...and sad, too. And this might sound cruel, but timing really is everything in life...I totally see how you can be conflicted about this decision, and not want to live with regrets (either way) in the future.
It is very difficult to give advice to anyone who feels this way. I can only pray that what is right for you and your DH will be granted by God.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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