Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I know I kid alot about how annoying they are, but I think Im really scared about being prego, mom, wife. etc

Anyone else?

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Sven u willbe fine!

xoxoxoxox

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Im not really scared as much as I am quite unsure about the whole thing. I dont know how I will ever really 'know'. So I guess that is sort of scary.

And if I were to decide to have kids, I would be soooo scared of the birth.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I'm already scared of giving birth! The whole idea is very overwhelming, even when you really want children....you're life as you know it changes forever and that's scary in itself!

I guess few are ever really 100% ready....you just have to decide if you want it and then hope and pray it's the right time and that everything will work out on it's own

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by Sonicstef

Im not really scared as much as I am quite unsure about the whole thing. I dont know how I will ever really 'know'. So I guess that is sort of scary.

And if I were to decide to have kids, I would be soooo scared of the birth.

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Thats exactly how I feel.

T thank you

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Thanks ladies, its such a hard choice.... Ahh

I get very overwhelmed with the whole thing

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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you just have to decide if you want it

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But how do you decide that?

I know the whole 'no one is ready' opinion but its that I feel 'not ready' as much as I really dont know where I stand on the issue. One day I think probably yes and the next I think probably no but Im never sure one way or the other. How do you know?

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

Yeah how do you know? I think Ive become selfish in my old age. But when I see people with kids, Im so happy they are really cute, but it passes fast.

I think that some people are not born to nurture

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I definately want them but I am definately terrified, but I think its all normal. My sis suffered four misccraiges and had a terrible time getting pregnant, when she finally did get pregnant, about a few weeks before her due date, she and her husband realized that they were scared, had no clue what they were doinga nd we were worried they wouldnt be good parents, she hada dream that her son was born witha back pack and instructions!!! Now she has been a mom for almost three weeks and she is very happy! Its the unknown and its SCARY! I do agree that some people arent as nurturing, its a fact, but I think Ill be good at it. I just worry because I tend to be selfish in the clothing area and with materialistic things, we are ona budget and probably will be for a few more years, so how will i be when I am buying new things for the baby, etc and not me, Im afraid Im too selfish and Im not proud of that.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I AM TERRIFIED OF GIVING BIRTH!!!!!

It really scares the crap out of me.

For years I have been going back and forth on whether or not I want to have children.

I have never had the overwhelming urge to have any. I mean I am comparing myself to women whom ever since they got their first baby doll have been dying to have a baby.

I have friends who have talked incessantly about it since we were teenagers. That was never me. I am one of those women if it happens yay,if not no biggie.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I too am petrified of actually GIVING BIRTH...the pain and the thought of it all scares me to no end...

I'm not so much afraid of having children, raising them, etc. etc...it's the 9 months of carrying around a life inside my body and then having to get it out that really petrifies me...

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I'm scared about the financial aspects of it...and the lifetime responsibility...and just about everything associated with children.

Every now and then, I see a little kid or infant and really want a child. But then I think about my childhood...I gave my mother such a hard time...could I face that?

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I am defintely not baby crazy.......I honestly have so much to look forward to in my life that I don't know if kids necessarily will 'complete me' as some women put it. As long as I have Fh and I have the things I plan for myself, I don't 'need' to have children. If god blesses me then that will be wonderful but if not. I am still fulfilled.

eta - once my child is here I would worry about being obsessed with them.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

As a side note, there are plenty of people who want a child their whole lives and are what appears to be the 'nuturing' type and are still bad parents in my opinion. Its such a delicate situation and it laced with pitfalls...how can anyone know they are cut out for it?

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by Sonicstef

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you just have to decide if you want it

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But how do you decide that?

I know the whole 'no one is ready' opinion but its that I feel 'not ready' as much as I really dont know where I stand on the issue. One day I think probably yes and the next I think probably no but Im never sure one way or the other. How do you know?

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I guess it's just different for everyone. But for me, while I loved my life as a couple with DH, doing couple-like things such as wine tasting, weekend trips, etc., in the back of my mind I always knew I wanted a baby soon. It's just something I've known for a while.

Unlike some of my friends who are single or married, LOVE their life and wouldn't want to change a thing right now. To them, a baby would be a major inconvenience on their lifestyle. But for us, I know it will make our lives complete

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by Sonicstef

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you just have to decide if you want it

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But how do you decide that?

I know the whole 'no one is ready' opinion but its that I feel 'not ready' as much as I really dont know where I stand on the issue. One day I think probably yes and the next I think probably no but Im never sure one way or the other. How do you know?

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You will just know. Hows that for an answer!! Seriously, I used to be on the fence about having children. For a long time I thought that I would never get married. Then one day I just knew that I had to have kids. Nothing sparked it at all. I just decided that kids were in my future and I could picture it in my head. Of course, this was several years ago, when the decision was 'I still don't want to ever get married, but I will have children.' That changed one day, too

Everyone is different. I have friends who have always wanted to settle down and have kids and they talked about it when we were in HIGH SCHOOL. Others get there a little more slowly. I don't think anyone should feel rushed. It is a huge decision and you should take as much time as you need to figure it out.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

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Posted by franksbride

I too am petrified of actually GIVING BIRTH...the pain and the thought of it all scares me to no end...

I'm not so much afraid of having children, raising them, etc. etc...it's the 9 months of carrying around a life inside my body and then having to get it out that really petrifies me...

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Same here...but I say to myself if many women give birth everyday then I can to. So everything else out weights the pain that I am scared of.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

We both want to have children- but the terror is in not knowing if we will be financially ready once born.

A lot of my friends are having kids right now.. I ask them what they are going to do when Junior is born- in terms of day care, etc- and they say they don't know and they'll 'figure it out'...

personally, i can't do that. I don't want to have to use day care, and reputable day care if VERY expensive... and I know we couldn't afford it right now on my DH's salary or for me to stay at home...

so it sort of is a bad situation- because we don't want to just 'figure it out' but we are no where near having a game plan.

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

WOW, Im so glad Im not the only one

The pain really doesnt scare me its the whole change afterwards. You cant send the baby back

Re: Anyone else really scared to have KIDS

I agree that the feeling comes to everyone at different times. and I agree that even if you feel youre ready, you might not be cut out for it.
There are MANY people out there who just have children as a status symbol, and they have such busy lives that they never see that child for a moment... and most of these people CAN have more time with their children, just too many other things on their agendas that seem to take priority. I know a SAHM who has a live-in nanny (why???) and she(and hubby) is living the high life of a single person(24hour social calendar, no limits), with a hubby thats filthy rich...sickening...
and she brings out her child to functions where its 'politically correct' and makes sure hes in the best of everything, yet he's completely attached to the nanny and just fights with mommy... so sad...
Im sure there's plenty of this everywhere...hopefully not, but....

Alot of people may not know because they have never (or not often) been around infants or toddlers in the lives. We always had an infant or two and a toddler or two in the house growing up, my mom the babysitter... so changing diapers and getting to know their eating/sleeping/playing/growing up habits kinda grew on me as the years went on... Of course it was totally different then because I wasnt the one responsible, I just had to play with them, but the sense of responsibility and the reality that this little person is REAL and needs all this attention definately sets in after so many years... and you either love it or dont like it so much.....

Everyone is entitled to their own feelings on it. Its a very important area to be honest with yourself on...