Is never arguing really a good thing???

I was reading a post on BHB about a postponed engagement, and she mentioned how her and FH- NEVER argued and they got along so great so she is puzzled as to why this is happening.

This is not the first time I have heard of a situation like this.

I was getting my nails done and the technician told me she was getting a divorce after 30 years of marriage She also said it came out of nowhere because they never argued.

While I do not think it is healthy to argue all the time, but it seems as though keeping it in can be just as bad. It can be fun to brag that you and DH never argue but could there be something deeper?

No offense to anyone, just please give me your thoughts!!!!!

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

I dont understand people who never argue. How is it even possible? Obviously, Im not of that camp. I think a good argument on occassion is a very cleansing and healthy thing for a relationship.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

Stef, I totally agree.

When people tell me that they never argue I quickly access their personality and come to the conclusion that they are very passive people who are afraid to speak up.

You cannot get along ALL the time.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

Never arguing is a major sign of a dysfunctional relationship. It means you just don't care...

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

I agree ladies. Also arguments help you get through your issues and grow as a couple. If you never argue, it probably means all the issues are getting stocked up inside of you, and one day you're gonna blow.

As long as there is always respect.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

I agree, arguing once in a while is healthy.
It teaches us about how we deal with conflict, compromise and about our problem resolution skills (something I have learned alot about from DH).

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

HUBY AND I ARGUE EVERY DAY AND I LOVE IT. ESPECIALLY WHEN I WIN AND WE MAKE UP

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

I guess it depends on what you mean by arguing - Al and I don't have screaming matches. I think we've only ever yelled at each other once. But we certainly have disagreements and get annoyed at each other for whatever and do our best to talk about it when something is bothering us.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

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Posted by WhatNow?
It means you just don't care...

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I was going to say something like this - I am not going to get into an argument or heated discussion about something I don't care about.

I care very much about how DH & I come to decisions and resolve problems. I don't look for arguments, but if one happens, we talk it out. Most of the time it's a reasonable conversation other times it isn't.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

LisaT- arguing meaning when you are not seeing eye to eye, Your voice may escalate a bit, but not necessarily a screaming match.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

And I think in arguments, there needs to be a certain level of respect, even while disagreeing. I'm don't think screaming matches are really productive.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

Liz- I think that RESPECT is crucial! I just don't understand those couples that just get evil when fighting and say such horrible things.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

I have been guilty of saying mean things in the past. Sometimes you cannot help yourself you get caught up in the heat of the moment.

Over the years I have learned to fight fairly.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

I think NOT arguing means that you aren't communicating well either and that should be the basis of any relationship. I mean our 'discussions' often become yelling but we can both come to an agreement or compromise and I think that is all that matters.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

Lisa, I know what you mean 100%
How about when you see couples in public cursing in public????
Where's the respect? It makes you wonder what goes on behind closed doors

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

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Posted by Sassy

And I think in arguments, there needs to be a certain level of respect, even while disagreeing. I'm don't think screaming matches are really productive.

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Sometimes I feel like I need to scream to be heard but I don't say mean things or things I wish I could take back.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

Oh, yes those couples who argue in public.

DH and I were on the subway and there was a couple YELLING at each other, cursing and being so nasty. They did not seem to mind that they were on Public Transportation.

I was so embarassed for them.

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

Christine we're all human, I think everyone lets out a scream now and then. But that can't be the nature of every argument, and definitely like you said you have to try not to say hurtful ugly things......

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

My Mother always said if a couple doesn't argue someone is giving in! I agree 100% & that can build up over time until WHAMMO!!

Re: Is never arguing really a good thing???

Liz, I agree too I couldnt have screaming matches all the time I would of had a heart attack by now because I hate arguing.