Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

I am so ready to get the heck out of dodge, so to speak.

The commute to the city annoys me and frankly I've never thought raising a child in NYC proper was right. I like Long Island but God help me it's so freaking expensive it's insane!!

I want out, and I want out NOW!

I know we promised ourselves that I would work here until I get my associates degree then move laterally in my company back south but now my company is in MAJOR trouble, lots of lay offs and money saving measures, the future isn't as secure. I am now thinking why not just leave now and apply at my competitors location in Texas or south.

Agh.. is it just me?

(PS, Yes, Jim knew all this before getting married. He 'will' move. Heck he still doesn't know what he wants to do when he grows up if you know what I mean and I am the money maker so he's willing to relocate and job hunt.)

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

Aside from being a little offended by your raising a child in NYC is not right, I agree with you. (I know it's just your opinion and meant no harm - I loved being raised here).

In the past couple of years my quality of life living and working in this area has diminished significantly. Unfortunately, DH has a job with amazing fringe benefits that provide our insurance and a lot of our financial security for retirement so that is pretty much keeping us in this area for the next 7 years.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

I never meant offense to those raised here.

I think everyone has a certain sentimental value attached to the place they were raised. Outsiders, like myself, see it differently. I am sure you'd say the same about the place I was raised except I really couldn't point you in any one place (military).

I just see kids on the subway and I feel bad. I see parents who allow their kids manners to slip or accept so much rudeness (to me) because it's polite to do so. I thought moving to NYC would open the world to me. It did. I found out I am a spoiled brat. I can't accept all the things I've seen as 'its ok, their not from here'. I find it bothers me.

I want my children raised to know that it's rude to stare, it's NOT acceptable to do certain things period no matter who you saw doing it and here's one I'm sure I'll get burned for..... I want my children to be raised to believe they are American. Not hyphenated not only on July 4. I want them to accept their past as just that the past. To be honored, remembered and understood but it's NOT theirs to try to revenage or use as a weapon or crutch. They are to be American children with just your average American lives.

It's not just NYC. It's any large city really. No matter where I go values like these only a parent can teach regardless of the environment.

All that and I STILL love Long Island. The schools, the charm, the lifestyle. I may not like the city for my children but I would feel good allowing my children to be raised in Long Island.

So why not stay? I live in Long Island now, if we had children they'd be raised in Long Island. Mostly it's the commute and the job lifestyle. It's HARD and cut throat and I spend SO much time at the office. I don't get home until after 8 on ANY day!! I used to think when I got married and starting thinking of kids that would change. Reality is, I know it won't. My job is very demanding and I want to raise my children.

I won't go so far as to say I have to stay home, but I want a smaller commute, a managable job (even if it means less pay or less recongition) and a chance to raise my children.

I don't think I can do that here. Now I'm afraid I'll get 'stuck' here and I think I want to leave before that happens.

Make sense?

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

we wanted to BEFORE the wedding, and did so 4 months after we were married....best decision we ever made to escape the rat race and our families

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

i don't think it is about where you raise your child IT IS HOW YOU RAISE YOUR CHILD.
But the prices for housing here are INSANE!

But i am going to patiently wait for the right time...
Leaving NY is not worth it to me

ETA...i just read your LONG post about proper raising of a child and AGAIN that is about parenting and not about where you live...

There are PLENTY of rude idiot kids on LI. Ya know the ones that go around desecrating cemetaries, drawing white supremecy symbols on school running tracks...
What is their excuse?

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

Sometimes, I feel like picking up and moving down south. The lifestyle is a little bit more easier and the weather there is awesome, compared to NY. I could easily re-locate if needed. It always stays on my mind alot.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

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Posted by Xelindrya

I never meant offense to those raised here.

I think everyone has a certain sentimental value attached to the place they were raised. Outsiders, like myself, see it differently. I am sure you'd say the same about the place I was raised except I really couldn't point you in any one place (military).

I just see kids on the subway and I feel bad. I see parents who allow their kids manners to slip or accept so much rudeness (to me) because it's polite to do so. I thought moving to NYC would open the world to me. It did. I found out I am a spoiled brat. I can't accept all the things I've seen as 'its ok, their not from here'. I find it bothers me.

I want my children raised to know that it's rude to stare, it's NOT acceptable to do certain things period no matter who you saw doing it and here's one I'm sure I'll get burned for..... I want my children to be raised to believe they are American. Not hyphenated not only on July 4. I want them to accept their past as just that the past. To be honored, remembered and understood but it's NOT theirs to try to revenage or use as a weapon or crutch. They are to be American children with just your average American lives.

It's not just NYC. It's any large city really. No matter where I go values like these only a parent can teach regardless of the environment.

All that and I STILL love Long Island. The schools, the charm, the lifestyle. I may not like the city for my children but I would feel good allowing my children to be raised in Long Island.

So why not stay? I live in Long Island now, if we had children they'd be raised in Long Island. Mostly it's the commute and the job lifestyle. It's HARD and cut throat and I spend SO much time at the office. I don't get home until after 8 on ANY day!! I used to think when I got married and starting thinking of kids that would change. Reality is, I know it won't. My job is very demanding and I want to raise my children.

I won't go so far as to say I have to stay home, but I want a smaller commute, a managable job (even if it means less pay or less recongition) and a chance to raise my children.

I don't think I can do that here. Now I'm afraid I'll get 'stuck' here and I think I want to leave before that happens.

Make sense?

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No, I still don't agree with you about being raised in a city and you are wrong to say that I would have a negative opinion about people not raised the same way I was. That could not be further from the truth.

I agree with Oct2004Bride...that it's not where you are raised but how you were raised. I don't think all the rude people were the ones raised in larger cities.

But, I do understand what you are saying about how it's not easy...commuting takes its toll and it's hard to manage a career and family.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

I've considered moving out of the NYC-LI area for a while. I even tried it once (moved to Austin, TX). But I am so in love with NY, it's worth the commute, stress, etc. to me.

The only time I could see moving is if I had a child and wanted to be a SAHM, but couldn't afford to b/c of the cost of living here.

In a perfect world, I would NEVER leave NYC-LI. I would def want to raise my kids here.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

I was raised in Florida, and spent my older teen years here in Queens. I regret the day my mother decided to bring me here. I, too, would never raise my children here. I can't wait til I'm finished with school so I can move.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

I was raised in Long Island and would never want to raise my children anywhere near NY so I personally agree with you. And it's just that a personal decision so I won't even get in why I feel this way for risk of being flamed further.

DH and I live in Colorado and I lived in TN prior to that and never once regret the day I left NY and neither does he. We NEVER plan to go back and while we hate not being near our families it isn't worth it to us to live there. We live a great life here and I will have the option of being a SAHM which I wouldnt in NY unless we barely made ends meet. We already own a house which would be double the price in NY and our taxes are less than 1% and we live in a great town with lots around us.

There is so much outside of NY but for some people there is too much to lose in leaving and so that's why where you build your life is a personal choice for you and your DH to make.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

I think what I was trying to say was it's about how you raise your children not WHERE (I did say it could be any big city not just NYC)

Still, it's the commute and lack of attention I want to give my children because of the work environment here.

To each their own.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

I moved to Florida from Staten island when I was 12. I loved living in florida, and DH was ready to buy a house in Florida, my family had moved back to staten island when I was 19, I asked him to move to NY and try it out.... well, I too would rather raise my kids in another enviroment. I personally agree with you too. I want the choice to Stay at home....I think since I lived in 2 different places growing up it is easier for me to have a perspective that ny is not the greatest. too each their own

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

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Posted by Xelindrya

I think what I was trying to say was it's about how you raise your children not WHERE (I did say it could be any big city not just NYC)

Still, it's the commute and lack of attention I want to give my children because of the work environment here.

To each their own.

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I agree with you re: the commute and attention to your children.

But one of the major reasons I want to stay in NY (and I really wish it could be NYC) is b/c I want my kids to be around people of different backgrounds: different religions, classes, races. I don't think you can get that diversity in places but cities.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

I was born and raised in Brooklyn and while I never had a problem growing up now that I live in Long Island I feel like I missed out on a lot growing up in such an urban area. I would love to pack up and get the heck out of here w/my profession I could be DH is a difficult field to get into (computers/IT) and the more rural the area the harder it would be for him to find a job so looks like I'm stuck here.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

I have actually found NY to be diverse but hateful as well. FLorida is much more go with the flow than NY. all I ever hear about are nationalities, It is fine to be proud but to let it over run your life>? I am American, I was born in America(I don't believe in 1st generation, 2nd gen, etc..) I find NY to be too into seperation..italian, irish, russian, I know some people love that they are able to surround themselves with their'type' but it is not for me, I am American and want to live where Americans live.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

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Posted by Janice

I have actually found NY to be diverse but hateful as well. FLorida is much more go with the flow than NY. all I ever hear about are nationalities, It is fine to be proud but to let it over run your life>? I am American, I was born in America(I don't believe in 1st generation, 2nd gen, etc..) I find NY to be too into seperation..italian, irish, russian, I know some people love that they are able to surround themselves with their'type' but it is not for me, I am American and want to live where Americans live.

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I have to disagree here! I have A LOT of family who live in the south, particularly Floida...And the hate is there was well.

NY is much more intergrative then most states if not THE MOST. I mean Manhattan has almost every culture/ethnicity there is! My cousins were telling me this themselves just a month ago. How progressive this state is as opposed to others. They had never even seen someone from Haiti, Egypt or from the Philipinnes (all people who were at my wedding)...
I think that it is quite naive of people to think that hate doesn't exist EVERYWHERE..

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

There are neglected/abused/misbehaved children everywhere..including small towns. There are more of EVERYTHING in NYC so you see more of it in front of you than you would in a small town. But keep in mind that there are plenty of gifted, loved and well behaved children here as well. Large cities have the best to offer a child in terms of culture and education - the best schools, musuems, library, industry, etc.. Yes, the housing prices are insane but thats b/c so many people want to live here. A child raised in an urban area with loving parents has more advantages than the same child in a small town IMO. And more studies are showing that the 'boredom' of a small town life leads to children getting involved in drugs, drinking and other less than ideal activities whereas city kids have more options.

Im sure you didnt mean to offend anyone but it is offensive to say that an urban area is bad for children. Thats not true in of itself. You just havent met all of the wonderful children in NYC.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

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Posted by Sonicstef

There are neglected/abused/misbehaved children everywhere..including small towns. There are more of EVERYTHING in NYC so you see more of it in front of you than you would in a small town. But keep in mind that there are plenty of gifted, loved and well behaved children here as well. Large cities have the best to offer a child in terms of culture and education - the best schools, musuems, library, industry, etc.. Yes, the housing prices are insane but thats b/c so many people want to live here. A child raised in an urban area with loving parents has more advantages than the same child in a small town IMO. And more studies are showing that the 'boredom' of a small town life leads to children getting involved in drugs, drinking and other less than ideal activities whereas city kids have more options.

Im sure you didnt mean to offend anyone but it is offensive to say that an urban area is bad for children. Thats not true in of itself. You just havent met all of the wonderful children in NYC.

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Bravo! NYC and other cities just have everything to offer a child. Things you just can't get anywhere else.

For example, my littlest brother was studying dinosaurs in like 2nd grade, and taking him to the Museum of Natural History was so exciting for him!

Now he is a sophmore in high school, studying Global History. I took him to the Met and talked to him about Renaissance art and religious iconography, and when he saw Napolean's troops' 'graffiti' on the Temple of Dendur he was so excited and thought it was just the coolest.

He also just went to a Chinese wedding. Ok, this family is American, but they celebrated their wedding in a traditionally Chinese way. He learned so much about their culture, just by going to their reception. His best friend is Jewish and he goes to their house for Passover. I think these experiences are great for him b/c that is how the world is - full of people not exactly like the people in our family.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

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Posted by Sonicstef

There are neglected/abused/misbehaved children everywhere..including small towns. There are more of EVERYTHING in NYC so you see more of it in front of you than you would in a small town. But keep in mind that there are plenty of gifted, loved and well behaved children here as well. Large cities have the best to offer a child in terms of culture and education - the best schools, musuems, library, industry, etc.. Yes, the housing prices are insane but thats b/c so many people want to live here. A child raised in an urban area with loving parents has more advantages than the same child in a small town IMO. And more studies are showing that the 'boredom' of a small town life leads to children getting involved in drugs, drinking and other less than ideal activities whereas city kids have more options.

Im sure you didnt mean to offend anyone but it is offensive to say that an urban area is bad for children. Thats not true in of itself. You just havent met all of the wonderful children in NYC.

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I agree 100%. I'm in an interracial marriage, adn I want my children to be exposed to the greatest amount of cultural diversity possible, and from what I've seen and heard of suburbia, that ain't it. I went to a high school where everyone was so diverse I was shocked by how white my college was. And that was NYU! If I can find a diverse community a VERY short distance away from the city, I might consider moving there, but probably not. DH and I are playwrights and screenwriters anyway - we're gonna either be in NYC or LA, as will our kids.

Re: Ok, so now you're married. Anyone else just wanna LEAVE?

I completely agree with you. I agree so much, that I have asked for, and received a transfer to Charlotte, NC. Six months after my wedding, I'm out.

I was born and raised on LI, my parents are there, my siblings are there, it is going to be hard.

BUT I HATE commuting to downtown NYC, I have no desire to live in NYC, and even though my husband and I make very good salaries, it would be impossible for us to buy a house and not have a mortgage payment that wasn't insane.


I'm going to miss my family immensely, but get me the hell out of here!