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Wedding Forums > For Newlyweds Only > Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
Sassy
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 01:17 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 01:17 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
Thank you so much for your responses Ladies. Now I feel like I am not so alone in my quest
Fran, yes the same block would be Heaven, LOL
SomedayBride
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 01:38 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 01:38 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
While I would love to live close to my family, I don't know how I would feel about living so close to my FH's family, especially if we moved far from where my family is. (this is assuming that Len's family is from around here)I like doing things, and making decisions as a couple, and living in such close proximity to in laws would make it less of an 'us as a couple/family' thing into more of a me vs. wife/husband and her/his family kind of thing. Do you know what I'm trying to say? Also, I don't know how I'd deal with the possibility of my in laws being able to drop by whenever they felt the need. Not that they couldn't do that with a thirty minute drive between us, but the chances of that are less likely, since they'd probably call to see if we were home.
I guess I'm just a very private person, and I would feel the same way as Len, if I were in a similar situation.
LizD
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 01:54 PM+
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
I am way too attached to my family to live too far away. When we moved to Merrick, we bacame within 1 mile each way between 2 of my sisters, with another 1 about 20 mins away, and 1 about 45 mins. I would love it if we all lived on the same block!!
I love DH's family as well, but I am not sure I would want to live too close. I am just more comfortable with my own family. His family is great, but I would feel like there was no 'buffer' zone, and that I would have to have the house completely clean and ready for company at all times.
Sassy
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 01:55 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 01:55 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
SomedayBride and those who feel more like Len.How's 15 minutes away?
nrvbrd
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 01:58 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 01:58 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
I think 15 minutes would be fine.As I said before you have to make sure that your's and Len's privacy would be respected, whether they live next door, 5 minutes away, 15 minutes, that is the issue at hand.
SomedayBride
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:02 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:02 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
I think 15 minutes is ok. If they live next door, they can peek out the window, and if you're car is in the driveway they know you're home and they can just drop by. A 15 minute drive would be enough for me to call before I left to make sure they were home, but that's me, and I'd probably call even if they lived next door.
Sassy
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:02 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:02 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
Liz D, yes I know what you mean about the buffer zone. I like ppl to see the house clean and so does he.I of course favor my own family, but wouldnt mind his living close. I love his cousins especially.
But I dont have to worry about it anyway, Len would never want to.
Kysha/SomedayBride thanks. They are pretty respectful when it comes to visitign, they like to chat on the phone
WithThisRing
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:07 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:07 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
mlp924
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:09 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:09 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
Matt and I live about 15 minutes from everybody in all different directions. It is perfect. Not too close and not too far.
SomedayBride
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:11 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:11 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
I don't know Len, so I don't know if this is how he feels, but I really think my main problem with us moving away, being close (even 15 mins away) to your family, and far from mine. I would feel that you were all I had in Florida, while you not only had me, but also your sister and brother. IMO, no matter how much you love your in laws, they're not your family. I mean, yes, they are your family, but they're not your own family,even if you're not especially close with your own family.I don't think I'm doing a good job explaining my feelings, but I'm in a somewhat similar situation, and I feel the same way as Len.
Sassy
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:29 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:29 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
I get what you're saying Someday. ALthough w/Len I'm not sure that's it. Iknow my Matron's hubby felt teh same as you when they moved to Cali and her family was all there already.With Len, I don't think he wants to be next to his family at all. I thnk he just wants ME to himself
Chippa: We're considering more of Sarasota and Tampa, not too far at all.
SomedayBride
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:31 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:31 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
Well you are newlyweds
Good luck trying to convince him!
Sassy
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:32 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:32 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
LOL
WithThisRing
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:37 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:37 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
LOL
HeatherandNick
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:39 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:39 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
I actually love the idea and the fact that I have family so close. I have many babysitters around whenever I need them. I never feel lonely - even if DH is not home. We are also planning a big move to either FL or AZ, I am all set to go but the only thing holding me back right now is the distance from my family. If I could pack them up and take them with me I would!
SomedayBride
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:42 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:42 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
I just wanted to add I'm surprised to see how many of us are planning a move to FLA. FH and I are going down next month to scout out apartments/houses in Orlando and Tampa.
Diane
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:48 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:48 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
UI have the fact that I'm further from my parents. We are only 10 minutes from his family, and it is quite annoying
alina
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:48 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 02:48 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
Liz, as I stated in my reply, I think 15 mins driving is a good distance. Anything else is too close... If I am Len, I would not have a problem with rest of your family living nearby so long that they don't drop by everyday. But, obviously you will see them more often than Len's family
Sassy
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 03:09 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 03:09 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
Yeah, they know to stay away
Yes, I think a lot of us may move to FL or elsewhere b/c we are all at that buying a home stage, and NY is just so darn expensive.
Anywhere else you get a lot more house and land for your money.
kmcwed
Posted: Jul 29, 2003 06:44 PM+

Posted: Jul 29, 2003 06:44 PM
Re: Okay ladies, how do you and DH feel about. .
DH would leave NY in a heartbeat. He's so tired of it here. I am less motivated to leave because I'm attached to my family. I don't want to be too far away. Even an hour's drive would be okay for me, although something under 30 minutes is ideal.I understand my DH's feelings, and you get so much more for your money in other states, but I just don't feel ready to be that far away.
I'm concerned about moving into DH's house. Right now his mom and him have an 'open door' policy going on. They each have keys to the other one's house, and seem to come and go as they please. She comes in and shuts his windows if its raining, or puts food in his fridge, or feeds his sister's pets. He's less likely to go into her house, but does occasionally. Sometimes she sees him pull in the driveway, and calls him up a few seconds later. I think that's an invasion of privacy.
I hope there's a new policy once I move in. I absolutely could NOT tolerate that at all. I'm afraid it's going to strain our marriage...
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