QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

and how do you define love. Roger and I was sitting at our 1 yr dinner and I asked him if he had a crystal ball and could see the year that we had before he proposed would he have still married me and his response was yes. Someone sent me an article this am talking about a couple of these topics.

Then last week on kiss fm I was listening to a radio personality asking women that are married why did they get married. What is it that you are seeking from the other person that you could not have been fine with just shacking??

I want to hear what you ladies have to say on this topic.

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

Shamma - I'm glad you started one - I was thinking of a good QOTD but was coming up blank!

Let's see: I married DH for the simple reason that I cannot imagine my life without him

Was it in Harry Met Sally that Billy Crystal said - when you find out who you want to be with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible! I botched that quote badly but that was the essence of his comment. So that's how I felt in a nutshell :)

Why we specifically got married and not just remained living together? It's tradition, the marriage gives us more unity and closeness (IMO) and we're officially and legally bonded together

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

My daddy had a shot gun...

Just kidding!!

I got married to spend life in partnership with my best friend. The person who excepts me, flaws and all, makes me laugh, and keeps me safe.

I find a security in marriage that I personally wouldn't have without the ceremony and promises made in marriage vows.
I know others can feel that bond and security without marriage, and I think that's wonderful. but I needed to stand with Patrick, in front of our friends and family, and promise my life and love forever to make it 'official'

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

WOW, good question.

There are so many reasons why.
I finally found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. The man who means everything to me, and who can make me happy just by looking at me, or touching my shoulder, holding my hand.
With that said, I wanted to be his true partner for life, by law and under God's eyes. I want to have children, and for my children to grow knowing the same family values I grew up with, having married parents who love and respect each other.
I want to be able to set the best example possible for them.
Also, I believe that marraige is the greatest way to show your committment, you cannot easily walk away from it.
Being married gives you motivation to work things out if and when you have problems because you put so much into it.
I love looking at Len and knowing he is my husband, and we have this wonderful bond. We made these beautiful vows to each other before God and our family and friends. It is a wonderful feeling, and shacking up did not give me this wonderful blissful feeling. It didn't even compare.

I LOVE being Married

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

This is a great topic! I got married to show DH the ultimate level of commitment that we have for each other. He is truly my best friend and from Day 1 when we met it was always about how much we enjoyed each other's company, our similiar beliefs on important issues and what we both wanted out of life. Before we were engaged we moved in toghether which at a time in my life was something I told myself I would never do. Mostly becasue it was drilled into my Catholic head, but also because I didn't want to be one of those couples that just lived together for years and years. DH felt the same way. Neither of us had lived with anyone before, but we knew for us it was just a matter of time before that sparkler was on my hand!

I wanted someone to share everything with, the good, the bad, the fun, the boring. It is just nice to know that we are each others #1 priority and marriage solidified that for us. We look forward to having a family and talk about it all the time. We share the same outlook on life and what is important. We both are from traditional families, both sets of parents still married and happy, so we had great role models to show us how great and meaningful marriage is. So we said, heck, lets get hitched!

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

Mitch and once discussed this and we said because we wanted ot get married so that we can share our life together as a couple. He said that he knew that he wanted to marry me when he could not picture his life without me in it. But even after being married for 2 years and being together for over 6 years each day is a new adventure for us. I never thought i would love somoeone as much as i love my husband. and I feel that we understand each other... and it actually took us two years to stop getting ****y at each other over every littel thing.. we have not had a major disagreement in over 6 months!!!

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

We got married because I wanted to be a bride and have a big wedding! Just kidding... (well, partially anyway )

Seriously- it's like Teri said in When Harry Met Sally (love that movie) - when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life, you want your life to start now! Marriage solidifies your commitment to each other and a wedding celebrates and shares this love with family and friends.
And i want these too as a married couple....

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

Interesting and tough question Shamma : ).

I dated a lot and was previously married so I knew exactly what I wanted in a man and a future partner. As soon as I met Tom he was everything I could have ever wished for. He was good-hearted, respectful, funny, financially established, similar family background to mine and had a high moral standard. Not to mention he’s a cutie and he loved me unconditionally.

We had a worldwind romance and he asked me to move in 3 months after we met. We got engaged the night we moved in together and were married a year after we first met. To answer the question though, I honestly didn’t have to get married to him to know the love and commitment we share would have been forever. Having or not having that piece of paper was never an issue with me. Tom on the other hand is more religious than I and wanted a wife and not to live “in sin”. We also want to have a family so it just makes things easier being legally married. And it also makes the families a lot happier lol.

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

I think there is no major difference between being married and being together in a committed relationship.

The actual wedding was really just a way for us to tell everyone we loved that this was IT for us. I dont think that came as a surprise for anyone after 7 years together, but it was more of a celebration than anything else b/c we already felt as committed as possible already.

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

Stef, I think in a committed relationship, like Liz say vs. a marriage you can walk away easier and not be as willing to work it out. IMO I agree with her on that point. I must say I disagree with you on that point.

I think marriage drew us closer together and makes us willing to want to work at making each other's life better. I like the respect that comes along with being his wife rather than his GF. I could not shack with anyone, it is against my religious beliefs and I would be a hypocrite if I raised children telling them not to shack when that was exactly what I was doing. I found in Roger what I have found in none other, b/c before him, marriage was not on my mind. Wanting to do for him, wanting to get past the bumps in the road with him. Loving him and him loving me with all the imperfections.

I love being married, the sense of security that I have, I love it. I also loved the big day of celebrating that came alog with it. I would not want to do it with anyone else.

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

In my case, I feel there is a HUGE difference between being married and being in a committed relationshipbut I respect that others may not feel the same.

I agree with Sassy (I think it was Sassy ) who said being married makes you work harder at the relationship than if you weren't.

Before we were married, Patrick had an ANNOYING habit of ignoring things that bothered him, and walking away from disagreements before they were settled. It drove me NUTS.

Magically, after we got married, he took time to sit and actually discuss things with me when one of us was upset. I was floored, and asked why the big change. He really couldn't explain himself, but the jist of it was now that I was his wife, he felt that us being in agreement just mattered more. Such a small thing meant so much to me, and I agreed!

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

I found this and I thought I would share it: Love is…the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests regardless of the cost.

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

Teri...I love that quote from When Harry met Sally...


I know I was miserable w/o DH...and it popped out to both of us when I spent a summer studying in China...I was seeing amazing things...but I couldn't help thinking about DH...


so why marry? to celebrate...to make it legal...b/c its what you do

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

I was speaking for myself only really. I know that I was just as committed when we were dating as I am today.

Not everyone has that same commitment when they r dating but keep in mind I was dating 7 years and had been living together for 4 when we got married. It wasnt like i was just going to throw that away any easier than I would throw it away today.

For me, being married is more of a state of mind. I felt married before just like I do now.

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

I got married to Jay because not only do I LOVE him so much, but they way he makes me feel. He is more than my husband, he is my best friend. We can always count on each other to make it through the day when we are having a hard day.
Being with him just makes me feel good, and I feel so safe and a sense of security.
We knew that we were going to be together after our trip to Florida. We went together after 3 months of dating, and just knew we were the ones for each other.

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

I agree with Sonicstef in that I don't see much of a difference between a committed relationship and a marriage. I only say that because we were just as committed to each other the day before we got married as we were the day after we got married.

For me the difference is that getting married means you literally become family. You take, not just each other, but each other's families (for better or worse) and out of that you carve your own family. My DH is still everything to me now that he was before, except now we are family as well. Maybe all of those Sundays in church rubbed off on me, but I really think that now we have one life that we share which makes us partners, still, but in a slightly different way.

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

We love eachother and it just felt right.

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

We got married because we were finally ready!

Seriously, we were together for 7 years also by the time we got married, and did not live together. I agree with Becky when she said that they were just as committed before as they were after. We knew we would be married someday, it was just timing that prevented it from happening any sooner.

I love my husband so very much, and still get little butterflies in my stomach when I know I'm going to see him, and a warm feeling in my tummy when he kisses me. It's amazing to be loved by your best friend.

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

Vicki, I love your last line. So true, so true

'It's amazing to be loved by your best friend'

Re: QOTD WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED??

Vicky, I told Roger that the other day that I look forward to coming home to see him, even if we are not getting in to any kind of deep discussion, just to know he is there is a nice feeling. He said that was sweet of me to share. When he goes away on trips, I get this excited feeling when its almost time for his return. Right now I am counting the days to his return, what a long wknd this is going to be.

At least I get to spend Saturday with Sassy