XOXO

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by TommysWife08

there is NOTHING wrong with you!! i feel the same way!

i'm waiting for the day im like okay great lets have a baby.. like its a calling from God or something lol

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thats hysterical Michelle! a calling for god- I think they call that an accident

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I know! LOL DH is like how will you know when you are ready and I like I will just know! Hahahahaha

I think its such a personal choice, and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Everyone is different and wants different things. I see how there is sort of a pressure to have children as soon as you walk down the aisle. At the first family get together after being married 3 weeks people started asking us.

I have a friend who has been married for 5 years both her and her Dh said they never wanted kids. Now she wants to have a baby badly, as well as her DH. I think they needed those 5 years to grow together, and now that their life has settled they have chosen on their own time to ttc.


You will know when you are ready and if you want to have children. Don't feel guilty or pressured, its the biggest choice you will ever make.

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Posted by RisiLeigh

I am DEF not ready to have a baby anytime soon! DH would've wanted to start trying right away but he's known for years that I wanna wait at LEAST 2 years after marriage to start trying. I love babies and think they're adorable, but I am also petrified of the entire baby process! TTC, then actually BEING pregnant, then the birth process, and lastly, being a good mom. So, I definitely am in no rush at all!!!

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I agree, the whole process makes me nervous.

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Posted by TommysWife08

there is NOTHING wrong with you!! i feel the same way!

i'm waiting for the day im like okay great lets have a baby.. like its a calling from God or something lol

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I feel the same way, I am waiting for that day I finally wake up and think ok I am ready

I think me not being ready also has a lot to do with the fact that I've always lived at home and am now finally enjoying living on my own. I want to enjoy being married, going on vacation, planning spur of the moment trips and with a child you cant really do those things.

i am worried shieetless.. i love babies and playign with them and stuff.. but i don't see myself as a mom right now.. but its like mom had a 2 year old when she was my age (me!!) and i am worried that i don't have a maternal bone in me.. getting married is a big step.. i'm just thinking and it would hit me a like a ton of bricks and boom preggo in a month or so.. and 9 months later

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Posted by AR31

i am worried shieetless.. i love babies and playign with them and stuff.. but i don't see myself as a mom right now.. but its like mom had a 2 year old when she was my age (me!!) and i am worried that i don't have a maternal bone in me.. getting married is a big step.. i'm just thinking and it would hit me a like a ton of bricks and boom preggo in a month or so.. and 9 months later

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I guess I just thought once I got married that maternal instinct would kick in and I would be so eager to have children right away.

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Posted by Mrs.C 102608

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Posted by Autumn08

Oh thank goodness I'm not the only one that feels that way. Eventually we will but I'm not ready. I'm taking classes again and I'd like to do a couple vacations before child. I always assumed my 20's would be for me. Sometimes I really want a baby and other times babysitting will suffice. So I think that clearly means I am not ready.

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I am glad I am not the only one too I always said I wanted to have children by the time I was 30 but now I am not so sure. I will be 28 in April but still dont feel that urge to have a child. There are still some things I would like to do before I get pregnant. I go over my cousins and see how different her life is now that she has two children and I just dont think I am ready for that. She can never go out without worrying, she cant go away for the weekend spur of the moment and she hardly every has alone time with her husband. I also see how exhausted she is and no matter how tired she is or if she gets sick she still has to get up early and take care of those children. I definitely have to make sure I am ready for a committment like that and I just dont feel like that right now. DH has wanted to have a child even before we got married so sometimes I feel bad when he brings it up and I freak out I just hope that this doesnt last for a long time and my baby urge comes soon.

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Well, I look forward to some of the great things about having children. Like first steps and first day of school, their smiles and laughter, trips to Disney - even though I honeymooned in disney. But it's true it's not all fun and smiles it's a commitment. So in a few years I'll be ready.

OMG, I thought I was the only one and I was always afraid to post this.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE babies.....when they are someone else's. I don't know if I EVER want my own. I'm perfectly fine with DH and my cat. However, DH feels differently. I keep trying to change his mind but it's not working so far.

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by Mrs.C 102608

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Posted by Autumn08

Oh thank goodness I'm not the only one that feels that way. Eventually we will but I'm not ready. I'm taking classes again and I'd like to do a couple vacations before child. I always assumed my 20's would be for me. Sometimes I really want a baby and other times babysitting will suffice. So I think that clearly means I am not ready.

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I am glad I am not the only one too I always said I wanted to have children by the time I was 30 but now I am not so sure. I will be 28 in April but still dont feel that urge to have a child. There are still some things I would like to do before I get pregnant. I go over my cousins and see how different her life is now that she has two children and I just dont think I am ready for that. She can never go out without worrying, she cant go away for the weekend spur of the moment and she hardly every has alone time with her husband. I also see how exhausted she is and no matter how tired she is or if she gets sick she still has to get up early and take care of those children. I definitely have to make sure I am ready for a committment like that and I just dont feel like that right now. DH has wanted to have a child even before we got married so sometimes I feel bad when he brings it up and I freak out I just hope that this doesnt last for a long time and my baby urge comes soon.

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Well, I look forward to some of the great things about having children. Like first steps and first day of school, their smiles and laughter, trips to Disney - even though I honeymooned in disney. But it's true it's not all fun and smiles it's a commitment. So in a few years I'll be ready.

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I look forward to those things eventually too but just not right now. I think I am more scared of actual giving birth and being pregnant then what comes afterwards.

Well I feel ready in many ways but I know DH is not quite there 100% so that makes me not feel ready. I have a lot of anxiety about whether I will be a SAHM or work....it is a very tough decision as we all know and this economy is adding to my anxiety with regards to giving up my salary.

I feel like once we are more settled into marriage we will be comfortable to start trying...as far as being a mom I have been ready for that forever I cant wait! DH and my anxiety is financial and career wise not the actual job of having children if that makes any sense

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Posted by eleven29bride

i really feel that way, but DH wants a baby asap. I often feel like I am lacking that 'maternal gene'. I am selfish, I like my own time, and the life I live. How can a baby fit into that? I better decide soon I am gonna be 32. And I am so scared of the whole process, pain, labor, etc.... I get nervous just thinking about it.

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its funny b/c that stuff really doesnt freak me out - i think being pregnant is so beautiful and so many people give birth so it cant be that bad the only thing that worries me is getting back to a size 0 afterwards but i dont worry about that stuff - it doesnt really scare me at all, i actually look foward to the being pregnant part b/c i think its so fascinating and amazing....and the pain during birth is scary but ive been through a lot of painful things so im not that scared - besides almost evey woman i know has done it and most have done it more than once - they all say its worth every minute once you see that baby - so like i said i just think its an amazing beautiful thing - pregnancy, birth, all of it....the only thing that scares me about kids is MONEY b/c its one thing if DH and I are broke and starving and struggling but i would NEVER EVER want my kids to not have things, or see us stressed out about money - so that is the only thing that worries me about having kids one day - otherwise i think i would be pretty ready now but since we dont have a house yet and we don't have a substansial savings its not going to happen ....im surprised to see so many people have those feelings about pregnancy and labor....maybe im weird

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by eleven29bride

i really feel that way, but DH wants a baby asap. I often feel like I am lacking that 'maternal gene'. I am selfish, I like my own time, and the life I live. How can a baby fit into that? I better decide soon I am gonna be 32. And I am so scared of the whole process, pain, labor, etc.... I get nervous just thinking about it.

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its funny b/c that stuff really doesnt freak me out - i think being pregnant is so beautiful and so many people give birth so it cant be that bad the only thing that worries me is getting back to a size 0 afterwards but i dont worry about that stuff - it doesnt really scare me at all, i actually look foward to the being pregnant part b/c i think its so fascinating and amazing....and the pain during birth is scary but ive been through a lot of painful things so im not that scared - besides almost evey woman i know has done it and most have done it more than once - they all say its worth every minute once you see that baby - so like i said i just think its an amazing beautiful thing - pregnancy, birth, all of it....the only thing that scares me about kids is MONEY b/c its one thing if DH and I are broke and starving and struggling but i would NEVER EVER want my kids to not have things, or see us stressed out about money - so that is the only thing that worries me about having kids one day - otherwise i think i would be pretty ready now but since we dont have a house yet and we don't have a substansial savings its not going to happen ....im surprised to see so many people have those feelings about pregnancy and labor....maybe im weird

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Hey I'm right there with you ! I am not freaked ( well I am a little) But I really want this.. For many rasons I guess.

for us, I kinda feel like we are ready (emotionally and financially .. well is anyone ever really financially ready?)

im just too selfish. I was all snuggled up in my bed last night, falling asleep around 8pm, dozing watching tv and DH came in and wisked us off to dinner out. I am not ready to give up what I want to do when I want to do it. With a baby, I cannot do those things .... am I horrible for being totally all about me

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Posted by Kimbalina

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Posted by Mimacat

We don't know if we want one EVER, so you're not alone.

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We are in the same boat!

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Us too! We like our life too much. Would be very hard to give that up.

nope, nope, nope. Definitely not ready for a baby yet at all. At first, DH kept saying how excited he was to be a father and how he wanted to 'knock me up' on the honeymoon. I obviously talked him out of it, but now he's totally gone the other way. We definitely want children in the FUTURE, but certainly not now. I think being a mommy is going to be one of the greatest experiences of my life, but I also know that children demand a LOT. You have to sacrifice sooo much for your kids and I'm not ready to do that. I'm just not willing to give up everything for a child yet. I still want to LIVE, ya know what I mean? I want to travel and have the freedom of me & DH doing whatever we want without having to think first of kids and who can babysit. Just that selfishness alone on me & Dh's part is proof enough that we are NOT ready. But I know we will be in a couple of years.

Also, another reason for not being ready is that right now we're in Colorado and plan to get back to NY (or someplace close to it) within a year or two. We don't want to have to travel & move our entire lives with a baby. We'd rather wait until we're settled, ya know?

So i hear ya!! Nothing wrong with wanting to wait! In fact, I think it's pretty wise to give yourself time (esp for a couple who is just newly married). I want us to have time together (real time) before making a family. But still - even if I DID get pregnant by mistake, I know I'd be worried but sooo happy too. I'd just have to MAKE myself ready, ya know?