AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

ok... I went to my cousins house this weekend and she thought it would be cool if we went to try on dresses for my wedding... well decided not to lie to my mom and tell her...(thinking there wouldn't be a problem) WELL.... NOW she's not talking to me!
she got so upset that I went and saw something that I liked. I happened to mention that maybe we could go one weekend.... she totally cut me off and starting yelling that it was 'too far'. She didn't even let me finish my sentence! she started yelling that it was too far to go for alterations... blah blah..
I never said that I wanted the dress, I just wanted her to come look! AGH
needless to say, I've been crying since then.. and to make matters worse, I still live at home..
I can't take it!!!!

any advice...
(sorry it was so long but i needed to vent!)

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

Well let mom calm down a little and then try and talk to her. She is probably hurt because she thought you would be doing this with her. Just let her know there is no way you would pick a dress without her - and that you do want her to be there to help you pick the dress!! (assuming you do want her there))

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

vent away - we've all been there at one time or another

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

I vent to my cat a lot lol Venting makes me feel better!!! So vent away!

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

I can understand your moms point , I lost my mom 9 years ago, and it is hard to do these things without her. I would wait for some time, apologize and then go dress shopping and include her. Good luck.

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

Chip and Spaz Mommies can be so UGHHHH - I'm sure everything will work out ladies - and don't worry VENT AWAY MY CHILDREN - go in peace =

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

We're going to have to start writing
'dear Olga' instead of 'dear Abby'... LOL
I have a ton more to vent about but it's over and done with so I don't want to get myself all mad again... but I will say that my mom is very unique.. she tells me not to listen to what anyone says cause it's 'my wedding' then when I talk to her about stuff that I want.. she says.. 'oh you don't want that' or she gives me her 'advice / suggestions' but expects me to do it... hello!??!?
agh.. it's ok though... when I can't bite my tongue anymore, I'll need to vent.
Thanks again Ladies...
and I say we get a 'Dear Olga' string going...
LOL
hugs to all!

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

Don't worry - just remember that if you start doing stuff she 'offers as a suggestion' she'll always expect things to go her way. Just stick to your guns about everything and she won't get the wrong idea!!!

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

I had a huge fight with my mother because I told her what I am paying for my photographer and she said I was paying too much then started complaining that her album is small and she wants more pictures.

Then she tells me that she wants her own limo for the day of the wedding and that Brian and I can just ride with the bridal party after church. I told her no Brian and I want our own limo we are the bride and groom. She said well their is really no need for you and him to have your own limo, you and the BP are all going to be together anyway, your father and I as well as Brian's mom and her husband really need the limo to get to the church and to the hall.

Lets not get me started on the e-party. She was suppose to be giving us one, but the way things are going FI and I are doing it ourselves. Unfortunatly we really dont have the funds, but we are keeping our fingers crossed he is suppose to be getting a huge settlement from his accident in May and we're using that money to pay for the party which will be in August (I've been crying about this for months. It's been a non stop fight and many many tears)

My mother wants all these things but doesnt want to contribute to it. FI's mom is being very very generous and is paying the last payment of the hall.

Believe me when it comes to mom's I should be in therapy.

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

At least you have ONE mommy on your side. Why are mothers like that?? Do they have an issue that you are 'leaving the nest'?? That is very unfair of your mom saying 'well we should have a limo not you' If she really wants one and understands your funds are limited, she should help contribute! And that whole engagement thing I hope it works out for you Chip - I'm sure it will!! And I hope you and your mommy work everything out as the day gets closer

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

Thanks Olgaki

My parents are having money issues as well which just makes me get so mad. (my grandmother's condo in FL sold but the nursing care wants 15K from the estate because that is what my grandmother racked up using them. Its in probate and escrow so my father wont see those funds till at least July)

The only thing my mom is paying for is my wedding dress and accessories and you'll never believe this one, she is complaining about the price and how much a deposit is. That was a huge fight that my dad got involved in. I want to go May 3 to leave a deposit and she said 'well I just dont know if we can leave a deposit but if you want to try the dress on again that is fine. We'll have to wait a while before we leave a deposit'

My mothers priorities are not in order. She is going to Aruba in Sept, she wants a new living room set and has been going practically every weekend to look at furniture but the minute something about me comes up she changes the subject, walks away from the conversation or ignores me.

I've come to the conclussion I just dont involve her in my wedding. All she is required to do is just show up. I dont tell her anything anymore and told her I dont want her in my planning. Her role is to show up and thats it. She said she would pay for my dress and everything fine, then thats it but as for everything else I dont want her involved.

She wants this wedding as it were her own.

So I just dont tell her anything and bite my tongue an aweful lot

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

Ugh - I don't believe she is going to Aruba and Furniture Shopping! That's so sad. I understand that they are financially strapped - that's a valid excuse to waiting for paying for things - but not if you are leaving the country for kicks!!
Hopefully, maybe your dad could talk some sense into her??? I want to take my dad dress shopping - he is like 'oh a nice dress should cost what? 2000 at least right Olga?' HAHAHA I love my daddy but he is so clueless - I want to spend like 500!

If that doesn't work, find a way around it that doesn't involve yelling - you don't want to ruin this day for you. I hope it works out - I'm sure it will - we've got some time left!

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

thanks

I am so glad I have FI. he's been my rock. I am hoping once the estate money comes in everything will work out

The reason for her Aruba trip is its my parents 25th wedding anniversary so this is their gift to each other

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

Well that is better - just a random trip would be

I'm happy to hear your FI is so good to you - I love to see happy couples who are there for each other. Count your blessings that you have a good man - they are very hard to come by

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

he reminds me of that funny song i cant remember the name of it, but it starts out

'oh we aint got a barrel of money, but we'll travel along singing our song side by side'

as long as i have him I am happy

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

you guys are the greatest... I finally feel like i'm not the only one out there... I tell FH all the time that if it weren't for him (and my shrink) i'd be in a nut house! LOL...

well my Future in laws (FIL i think) decided that they would go halfs on an engagment party for me and FH... well needless to say.. engagement party was in Sept and my 'rents haven't seen a dime.. nor have we even gotten a card or anything.. and then my FMIL made up her guest list to the wedding and it's just as many people as my mom has... and they haven't even offered to help us pay for it... it just makes me sad cause it's hurting FH really bad.. he's the oldest of three and the first to get married and his 'rents don't care...
AGH! that's my major vent there... and i don't want to sound greedy cause i'm not looking for anything, but it would be nice... you know!??!?

well hang in there chip... it'll all get better and if you need to vent... go right ahead.. seems like we are going through all the same probs..

~the spaz

Re: AGH... anyone else have this problem with 'MOM'

Thanks. Its great having a bunch of girls on here who are in the same boat as me.