Am I being a Bridezilla???

While I may not think you are a bridezilla, his parents might.

My FH is Jewish and I agree with you on not wanting them to stand up there.

My thing was that I didnt want to be crying through my ceremony

If his parents were up there, mine would be and my mom would cry and make me cry.

FH told his parents that he didnt want them up there and they basically put there foot down and said it's their RIGHT to be up there.

So, now both parents will be up there b/c I will forever be looked at as the bridezilla if I put my foot down and say NO..and deny them of their right.

So I started thinking...Its kinda nice b/c then you are facing them instead of you having your back to them the whole ceremony like the rest of the guests.

BUT - All I know is that if anyone cries and makes me cry there in trouble

I think we will have our photog take some pics of just us up there w/ oficiants beforehand though.

I've actually seen weddings where both parents stand next to the altar.. I think it's a beautiful tradtiion.. who better to witness your union and bless you than your parents right..

But you shouldn't lose sleep over it.. talk to FH calmly and tell him that your preference, maybe he too prefers that you two stand by the altar..

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

I see that this stinks for you to decide, but what does Lee say? I wouldn't want parents up there, period. My MOH is the only one that will be by my side...my BP will be seated in the first row of the church, right by my parents. I don't see why parents need to hold your hand up there....I am with you and would talk to Lee about it...he is understandinag.

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i understand what nicole is saying but it is jewish tradition, not like his parents are coming out with this out of nowhere, in jewish tradition both parents walk the daughter down the aisle and both set of parents stand at the altar...its the same way you will do things that have to do with the catholic church and i am sure you will follow everything that goes along with the catholic ceremony, and not just pick a few things you like only and say eh i wont do those other things

I am not catholic but i am getting married in a catholic church and since i agreed to this i am doing all that comes along with it. I could've said 'oh no now i have to go to pre-cana and spend my weekend doing this' but i didn't and nothing i could've done either, not like i could say oh well i am not doing it. Whatever traditions come along with a catholic wedding i have just accepted

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Posted by Soon2BDoubleL

It is Jewish tradition for the parents to be up with the bride and groom. I think it's beautiful, b/c it shows the love of both families.

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you know what, its one thing that really stood out to me...now the parents dont stand RIGHT next to you...there is the chuppah and the couple are in the middle and parents are on the side of the chuppahs. I remember looking at the parents face during the ceremony and it was so touching and sweet and got me emotional.

well, it is a tradition and a very important one
the parents are supposed to stand under the chuppa with the couple

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

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Posted by Randilotus

Really is that some type of tradition, I have never heard of the parents standing? I don't think you are wrong to feel this way!

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its so weird, i have been to alot of weddings and have never seen this. My parents are defin not standing up there with me. So i think its just so weird having them up there staring at us the entire time. I am going to be so nervous as it is

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i think it is extremely RUDE and insensitive to call it WEIRD just because YOU are not used to it

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

I see that this stinks for you to decide, but what does Lee say? I wouldn't want parents up there, period. My MOH is the only one that will be by my side...my BP will be seated in the first row of the church, right by my parents. I don't see why parents need to hold your hand up there....I am with you and would talk to Lee about it...he is understandinag.

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my parents will not be 'holding my hand'

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Posted by LeeLee111

We're having an interfaith ceremony and they're definitely not standing with us. I've never heard of that before, have FH tell them to sit their a s s e s down...LOL

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seriously, that is very insensitive to say to others
i mean, YOU may not want it but there are many people who WILL be having it because it is OUR tradition
i wouldnt say on here 'HELL NO IM NOT EATING THAT WAFER!' because it is rude and insensitive to other faiths

My friend had this at her wedding & it made for some lovely pictures- there are really nice pics of her mom looking at her and her husband with tears in her eyes- very moving. But that being said, I dont think that you are being a bridezilla- can you guys come to a compromise- maybe the parents can stand with you when you do the vows and then sit after that? I hope you work it all out

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by LeeLee111

We're having an interfaith ceremony and they're definitely not standing with us. I've never heard of that before, have FH tell them to sit their a s s e s down...LOL

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seriously, that is very insensitive to say to others
i mean, YOU may not want it but there are many people who WILL be having it because it is OUR tradition
i wouldnt say on here 'HELL NO IM NOT EATING THAT WAFER!' because it is rude and insensitive to other faiths

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Ok first of all I was joking around to lighten up the tension, second to me that is strange because I've never seen it done. I'm not saying bad just different, they''re not both Jewish and she doesnt want it so she shouldnt allow it. Theres no reason for you to attack anyone that has an opinion. It looks like I'm the 3rd bride you went after.

i couldnt care less what it 'looks' like
what i am saying is that the way many people are phrasing their opinions is RUDE AND INSENSITIVE PERIOD

saying something is 'weird' just because youve never seen it before is not a 'nice' way of putting it
im SO not surprised you havent seen it

I kind of think that if it is something that is tradition and important to them that maybe you can compromise a little? I personally think it sounds like a nice tradition and if it is so important to them, I don't see the problem. Do you get along with his parents?

I would personally be fine with it, and would ask my parents to join us as well. Some people will disagree with me, but I think a wedding is very much about the families involved, not just the bride and groom.

That being said, I hope you can work something out where you are all happy!

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Posted by Snowflake08

i couldnt care less what it 'looks' like
what i am saying is that the way many people are phrasing their opinions is RUDE AND INSENSITIVE PERIOD

saying something is 'weird' just because youve never seen it before is not a 'nice' way of putting it
im SO not surprised you havent seen it

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WOW easy, I'll chalk this up to you being overly stressed right before your wedding.

no im not overly stressed
im tired of people being insensitive to other's feelings and traditions and cultures

its rude
there are a lot of thinks im not 'used' to but i certainly dont make negative comments about them, if anything i dont comment about it at all

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by LeeLee111

We're having an interfaith ceremony and they're definitely not standing with us. I've never heard of that before, have FH tell them to sit their a s s e s down...LOL

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seriously, that is very insensitive to say to others
i mean, YOU may not want it but there are many people who WILL be having it because it is OUR tradition
i wouldnt say on here 'HELL NO IM NOT EATING THAT WAFER!' because it is rude and insensitive to other faiths

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I agree...at first i think people didn't realize that its not something his parents just made up and said 'hey we think we want to stand up there with you' it is part of the jewish tradition. And i agree, i mean what if i said to ppl oh no you cant take communion, i dont like it and i can't do it. I said listen i am getting married in a catholic church so i won't tell people they can't do something that is their tradition just because of me. I think its only right to be respectful of it. If i didn't like these things then i simply would not agree to get married in the catholic church, i cant say yes and then say well i only like a few of the catholic traditions and i wont do the rest.

I think people just didnt realize that its part of the tradition and that maybe his parents were being over bearing but to them its just part of their heritage and they want to honor that...its like saying 'no we won't break the glass' at the jewish ceremony

exactly - thanks denise
and if you are having a jewish ceremony with a rabbi, then that is what is expected

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Posted by Snowflake08

exactly - thanks denise
and if you are having a jewish ceremony with a rabbi, then that is what is expected

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i think if maybe people realized the significance of it and compared it to something in the catholic ceremony they would understand more. I think the way it was worded in the original post makes it sound like his parents just came up with this idea out of nowhere

yes, denise, i agree and thank you
and besides that, when you say something is 'well, thats just weird' or 'sit their assses down' it is disrespectful to those of that faith to whom this is the norm

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Posted by Snowflake08

yes, denise, i agree and thank you
and besides that, when you say something is 'well, thats just weird' or 'sit their assses down' it is disrespectful to those of that faith to whom this is the norm

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i understand completely...I am christian orthodox and many people don't know alot about the religion so i always hear comments like that. It does bother me many times because its like 'why is it weird' bc its not what you do? do i say your traditions are weird or stupid? i never do. Its like if my culture and traditions are weird then that makes me weird. Most though just do it without realizing though so thats why i wont get mad sometimes