Re: bad taste...

If you have a receipt, you should get the price the person paid for the item. Only when you do not have a receipt should you get the CURRENT sale price.

Just adding my few cents...

Re: bad taste...

This post takes me back to my wedding. The first gift I opened was from a friend of the family who practically begged to come to my wedding. Her gift was this big ugly ceramic thing (I can't even give it a name because I have no clue what it is). I bursted into tears after seeing it. I just coudn't belive that someone would give me something so hideous. Let's just say that gift is in a black garbage bag (no other color would do) in my mother's basement. Everytime I see her in my wedding video, I forward the tape.

Re: bad taste...

To go back to Claud's point- she is right. I know many people who drive Jags, have beautiful homes, take vacations all over and don't have $10 in a savings account. They mortagage their home over and over again to 'appear' wealthy.
Also, there are only a few billionaires in the World so the chances of his Aunt being one of them is slim. When I was in college and had NO money I thought people who made $50K a year where rich. But in reality they are far from rich. So you might think just because someone owns homes, cars, even businesses that they are richer than rich. But chances are they make a 'nice' living, but they might also be max. out on credit cards, bank loans etc...

Re: bad taste...

claud2001, i agree that it's in bad taste to judge people for the gifts they give BUT there's always exceptions!! it's also bad taste for people to give certain gifts...if you decide to spend only $50, there are much better ways to spend it than to buy a 15lb platter....
i'm sorry if i sound pissed, but i find these types of people very SELFISH...i sacrificed a lot for 3 months so i could buy one of my best friends her $600 china set as a shower gift and she has the nerve to show up to my shower one year later with a $100 bed-in-a-bag that wasn't even on my registry, when i had about 100 things for her to choose from!!! and to think that she is so well off that she hasn't had to work one day for the past 3 years!

Re: am i being ungrateful or would you be upset too?

I would be upset, and here is why: it is the thought that counts and when someone gives a crappy gift, it shows that they did not put much thought into it. If I were in your shoes (and I have had similar situations before) it is not so much the $50, as the idea the platter was probably bought because it was on sale, and not because it was something they thought you'd particularly like. Now that may or not be the truth of what they were thinking, but that's how I'd perceive it (and I think many people would too)

Re: am i being ungrateful or would you be upset too?

I agree with Katebug - while we're not having these weddings for the gifts, it is insulting to receive something like that knowing they're not on a fixed budget, or income. Again, who knows what the circumstances are that you wouldn't know about, but I would be upset as well.

Re: bad taste...

That is SOOO funny darlene!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: am i being ungrateful or would you be upset too?

Is your FH close to this Aunt and Uncle?
Because maybe they gave their own children houses and cars as wedding gifts, but parent's are bound to be MUCH more generous with their own children then they are with the children of their siblings. Especially if it's a nephew that they hardly see or something like that. I've found that most people with money are extremely generous towards those that they are close to.
Just because they're 'family' doensn't mean he's any closer to them than some aquaintances.
I have family that I NEVER see and I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up with something along the lines of a $50 platter. But from an Aunt or Uncle that I'm close to, I'd be upset and offended.

x

x!

Re: am i being ungrateful or would you be upset too?

I agree that we should all be grateful for any gift we are given and that we should not be expecting a gift of a certain size or any gift at all. However, what may sound to some like greediness may actually be hurt.

I can only speak for my case, but I saw my MOH spend over $600 on a birthday gift of jewelry for herself and then say to my mother the following week that she could not help financially with my shower. From my position, I feel hurt from her not being as generous with me as I would be with her. I am very happy that my MOH is putting effort and thought into my shower by participating in planning and making things. That shows caring and is very giving. If my Mom is fine with my MOH’s contributions, then I will be too. So, it is the thought that counts.

But, on the topic of gifts, some gifts do reflect very little thought or effort and when that happens from those close to us we often are hurt by it. And, like shamma said, regardless of gifts we are getting married and that is wonderful without anything more.

Re: am i being ungrateful or would you be upset too?

I have to agree with Claud's point- as well as SASHA96.

IMO -- I think the 'cheapness' is really 'selfishness' with what sounds like a perfect example in Sasha's above post.

And the thought is appreciated - always but in all honestly, people can be 'cheap'

I think Melissa27 was just trying to vent

Re: am i being ungrateful or would you be upset too?

Claud you have a really good point. It makes me wonder, though, what kind of people go into debt just to appear wealthy? I see so many people around me who go out all the time, go on vacations, shop all of the time and I know they don't make more than I do. Then I found out that most of them owe 10K - 20K on their credit cards. It is insane.

And on the topic of cheap people, my bosses are truly the cheapest people I have ever seen so I have to share this... I know they have money (more than than enough to retire and live comfortably) but they actually take the sunday times from the garbage room in their building to save $3.50. Then again, maybe that is why they have money and I don't

maybe i'm too sensitive but...

Yikes. Whenever I post on these boards I get attacked. Or at least that's how I feel. My post was merely a vent, take it or leave it. No need to get into a heated debate.




I am not greedy nor selfish nor 'ultra concerned' about gifts.


I am an intelligent and generous and kind person...I KNOW that it's the thought that counts. I also know that $50 is the FULL price of the item, since I had the receipt. I take it as an insult that FH's aunt, whom he is close to, did not take the time to purchase a more thoughtful gift.

I cannot help how I feel. Thanks.

Re: am i being ungrateful or would you be upset too?

One other thing that I wanted to point out...when it comes to the thought that people put into gifts...
I think that everyone's definition of thoughtfullness is different too, and that's where certain gifts can become 'hurtful.' Believe me, I go through this on every gift-giving occasion with my in-laws!

And, I want to add that I understand that Melissa was just looking to vent - she has every right to. But, it made me so sad to see everyone jump on the 'I should've gotten a more expensive gift band wagon.' It just shouldn't be what it's about.

michele31

Oh, and FYI...we know for a fact how rich and 'not in debt' they are.

My thoughts

I don't think anyyone was saying they wanted a more expensive gift at all. That is not what I got from the post here. I get shock and disappointment. Brides here were questioning what most people were thinking when they chose to give the gifts that they did. We might have expected something different...something we registered for????, something we could use, something that matches with our home decor...but I do not get the point here that these ladies here are greedy or ungreatful in any way shape or form.

It's like in life when you come to expect a certain standard from someone, when they fall below that you are disappointed. I was very happy for every and all gifts that we received, but when someone goes as far as to ask where we are registered and then turn around and buys us something we have no use for, how else should we take it?? I am greatful, but I am not going to jump up and down and act like it is the gift I could just not live without. Times like these you have to make the statement, some people do give you useless crap. No matter how greatful I am, if I have no use for the item it remains just that. JMHO!!!!