I am a bridesmaid for a Sunday wedding coming up in a few weeks. I work and live in NYC but the wedding is in NJ. The last bus back to NYC is at 11pm but I won't make it to the bus stop unless I leave the reception at least 1 hour early.
As a bridesmaid, am I 'required' to stay until the very end?
I can stay in NJ overnight and take a bus in the morning, but I would prefer not to spend extra money on a hotel room. Being a bridesmaid is not cheap!
Any suggestions on how to handle this?
GinaZ
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
Nothing says you are requiered. But I know as a bride, I would have waned all my BMs to stay till the end.
MarjorieFrank
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
I think you should explain your situation and see how the bride reacts. Then you can make your decision.
RockysGirl
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
hmm.. i don't really know if it's a requirement, but most probably do. I was a BM at my friends wedding a few months ago, but since we took the limo there, I didn't have a car and needed to ride with my parents home. So I just had to leave whenever they were ready. That meant that we didn't stay till the complete end, but pretty much. She understood.
IrishBrideASmiling
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As a bride, I would not mind if a BM had a reason to leave the wedding early. If the wedding is on a Sunday and you have to work the next day, that is a good enough excuse for me.
If you are really questioning whether or not she will be upset, I would just let her know beforehand that you plan on leaving early.
SummerBride10
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I would talk to your friend and make sure its ok with her. She might have another solution for you!
Lsorrent
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
I would be disappointed if any of my BM's left early. I was a BM in my best friend's wedding a few years ago. I lived in Valley Stream and the wedding was on a Sunday evening in Holbrook. A good hour away. And I didn't take off of work the next day either. But I knew that's what I was going into, and dealt with it. I didn't leave the wedding early and I still went to work the next day.
If you feel comfortable enough, I would at least run it by the bride first so she doesn't think you're just up and leaving.
Junebride2010
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
I wouldn't be disappointed if one of my BMs had to leave an hour early. If that's what you need to do then I would understand. I would run it by the bride and see how she reacts. I guess everyone is different but I know I would totally understand.
debzy
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
I'd talk to her about it. Maybe she has friends who are driving back to or through the city and they can drive you?
jme78
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I wouldn't be upset. Especially on a Sunday evening, I would realize people have to work and buses back to the city only run so late.
I figure by the last hour of my wedding I am going to be dancing and tired and maybe have had a glass or 2 of champagne and not even have time for quality time with the BM's!
philsdeezy
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
YES
caligirl87
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I personally wouldn't mind, but I'm like the other bride who posted that hasn't required anything from her BMs.
If she does mind, can you crash at one of the other BMs house?
Juhgail
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
that was me :)
I dont require anything from the BM's :)
MrsCM
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I think your concern is absolutely ridiculous! I would be so appreciative of my bms and would never ever dream of being anything other than appreciative of them the day of my wedding! If she has an issue with it, you shouldn't be her bm seriously or she should send you home with a town car its only an hour. If she cares about you and the fact that you're traveling to NJ for her and commuting back by bus when you'll be exhausted for work in the am then she won't care!
dedecakes
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
Can't you take off from work the next day? I mean, that's what I usually do if the wedding is on a Sunday, whether I am going to a wedding or am in a wedding. If it's on a Friday, I usually take Friday off. I personally would be insulted if any of my BMs skipped out early. The whole point of being a BM is to support the bride on her big day. JMO, though.
Nitania13
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
Hmmm tricky. I say if it would cause you a real financialhardship to stay overnight then leave early, BUT if it's just a minor financial inconvenience then you should stay. JMO!
pa56
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Posted by dedecakes
Can't you take off from work the next day? I mean, that's what I usually do if the wedding is on a Sunday, whether I am going to a wedding or am in a wedding. If it's on a Friday, I usually take Friday off. I personally would be insulted if any of my BMs skipped out early. The whole point of being a BM is to support the bride on her big day. JMO, though.
Unfortunately I don't have enough vacation days to take more time off! I have already taken 2 days off for her to help her with stuff.
sophisticat13
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
As a bride, I would have been upset if my BMs didn't stay till the end...it's not a requirement but I think it's assumed that the BP stays till the end, as their role is to support the bride on her day. But all brides are different...you know her best, I would talk to her and see what she says. At least you are thoughtful enough to think about this and post on here...she has to appreciate that lol GL and let us know what happens!!!
Espo22
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
well not even about her minding but are you sure that at 11pm you want to wait for the bus. Not sure what part of NJ this will be in but ive seen some of the bus stops in NJ late at night and many are VERY isolated, very dark and nothing else around. You will be very dressed and you might want to consider whether you want to do this or not. Is your DH going with you? sorry he probably is but nothing was mentioned of him but in case he is not going, can he pick you up? How far away is it from like Hoboken, or jersey city? maybe if its not far you can take a cab to the PATH and take the PATH into the city, at night there are alot more ppl on the PATH.
Also, how far away is the bus stop from the RH, how will you get there?
to answer your question. Some brides will get mad and some others won't, you know her best so im sure you know how she will really feel about this.
Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
I would let her know, If I was having a sunday night wedding I would definitely understand - I think she should expect that probably a number of people will have to leave early even if they are local...
siena
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Re: Are bridesmaids 'required' to stay until the end?
I know if it was me and it was my wedding and BM left an hour or more early - I would be mad I think its an unsaid rule that a bm is a big part of the wedding and should not leave early
