Are you having rules....

Original post by Kim921

Oct 30, 2003 02:35 PM

on if your bridesmaids can wear jewelry, how they should have their hair...that sort of thing?

How exactly do you say, 'Don't wear any necklaces, and have your hair parted on the left in an updo.' Is that rude??

I think I will let my girls do what they want...

EvenEdan Posted: Oct 30, 2003 09:05 PM

Re: Are you having rules....

Sage--
No I am not paying for my BM's hair. If one of them had an issue with getting their hair done because of the expense I would have gladly paid, however that is not the case with my girls. They all wanted to have their hair done and are the type that have their hair done just to attend a wedding let alone being in the BP. If I thought I was putting someone in a financial strain I would have made alternate arrangements, but luckily that is not the situation. All my girls are extremely close to me and we are completely up front and open with eachother.

Jordan Posted: Oct 30, 2003 09:43 PM

Re: Are you having rules....

Posted by DIANA

I dont want to give my girls rules, but then again I dont want them looking like crap.

Looking like crap? Ouch - that was a little harsh.

sophie78 Posted: Oct 30, 2003 10:16 PM

Re: Are you having rules....

Absolutely no rules on my side.

My girls are beautiful with or without make-up or hair done. We are going to pay for their hair if they want it done because the hairdresser and make-up person will be at the castle to do me and my family.

I don't care about shoes or nail polish. Who will see it anyway? You certainly won't notice it in the pictures.

Xelindrya Posted: Oct 30, 2003 11:48 PM

Re: Are you having rules....

Posted by Rob-luvs-me

My cousin was surprised and said this was the easiest wedding she had been in - (she was in 8) she said she was told everything down to hair, makeup, stockings, shoes, jewlery, even sometimes underwear - guess they are more strict in Texas...lol

Being Texan, I resemble that remark!

PrincessRose Posted: Oct 30, 2003 11:54 PM

Re: Are you having rules....

I am not having much in the way of rules. All my girls are wearing the same dress, and I've asked that they have the shoes dyed to match the dress, but they can wear any shoes they want.

I am thinking of taking them all for manicures the day before as part of the Bridesmaid luncheon. Pedicures I'll only make mandatory for those in open toed shoes. And even then, I imagine that would just mean nicely polished toes if they have a thing about people touching their feet.

Their hair can be anyway they want, as long as it looks nice. They must WEAR makeup, however minimal. I may or may not buy them jewelry - they will probably choose their own, and that will make them each individual, and I love my girls for their individuality. I'm picturing it now, and I love the thought. Thank you for causing me to think of it!

I agree with Attica that if you are requiring something you should pay for it. I just don't have the extra cash to pay for it!

larryswife2be Posted: Oct 31, 2003 12:08 AM

Re: Are you having rules....

I really won't have any rules. I trust the judgement of all my BM's

wenndypoo Posted: Oct 31, 2003 04:23 AM

Re: Are you having rules....

No rules at all. I even sent them dress shopping without me and just told them to get something they liked!
Maybe it's because I'm older, and my sisters are older than me, I think it would look silly for them to all be in matching everythings.

I asked them to be my BM's because I love them and I want them standing with me when I get married, not so they can fufill some weird vision I have about my wedding. They are individuals, I love them for that, and I want them to be themselves.

That said, sometimes I wonder if they want a little more direction from me, I've said 'whatever you want' to everything!

Imagin916 Posted: Oct 31, 2003 08:25 AM

Re: Are you having rules....

I am not setting rules for my girls. I was originally going to let them get seperates, but the BM dress that I wound up picking out is a style that is flattering to all shapes and sizes, and the color will go with any skin tone and hair color. I didnt tell them that they have to get thier hair and makeup done, because that is a given. I have never been in a bridal party (or even seen anyone in a bridal party for that matter) who didnt have thier hair/makeup done professionally unless they have a sister/friend/or themselves with this type of talent. As far as shoes go, I am going to let them pick out thier own style of shoes as long as it matches the dress and as long as they all have the same color.

My friend was in her SIL's bridal party and this bridezilla made everyone put on acrylic nails, manicures werent enough for her!! Hello! I cant wear fake nails because of my job, so this bridezilla wouldnt have been happy with me!!

shelzyp Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:00 AM

Re: Are you having rules....

Posted bu R&T

all of my BMs know I am mental..

This is how I felt, when you accept the offer to be in someone's bridal party, you need to look at the bride, and know where she is coming from. MY friends all know that I am very anal about things, and I want everything perfect, so they knew that I might make them wear the same haristyle, same shoes, same manicure, and that I might require them to do certain things.

Any bridal party that I have ever been in I have assumed these same things. What ever the bride wants me to do or wear for her wedding, I will do. And if I am not comfortable with what she might make me do, then I should say no from the get go. I don't understand people that don't understand that being in a Bridal Party will cost you money, and you might not get your way in everything.

I lucked out with my girls, we went to the shoe store, and happened to all get the same shoes, but we have been freinds for years, and all have the same taste. I also got my girls beaded flip flops, so there would be no bare feet in the pics, and they would be comfortable. I did not care about theri hair, I jsut preferred it was up, and I got them matching jewelery.

DrmnBlnd Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:01 AM

Re: Are you having rules....

I am letting the girls do what they want with their hair and makeup. I am buying their jewelry.

kelly6273 Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:02 AM

Re: Are you having rules....

I told my girls not to buy any jewelry because we gave them all necklaces, earrings and braclets as their gift to wear to the wedding.

As for their hair, I let them do whatever they wanted. They all got up-do's and looked beautiful!!!

dawnie Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:19 AM

Re: Are you having rules....

I didn't have any rules. I had my bridesmaids pick out floor length black dresses that hopefully they can wear again. They all picked a style that would flatter them. They are all different shapes and sizes. They all have different hair lengths. I didn't want they to look the same. I didn't care about the shoes or their nails..no one was going to see them anyway and I knew they would show up looking beautiful..not because I told them to. They all showed up with their hair and nails beautifully done. I bought them Tiffany silver bracelets and they all wore them that day.
I didn't want to be Bridezilla.
It made it easier on all of them and on me and I had one beautiful looking bridal party!

Marcela1654 Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:39 AM

Re: Are you having rules....

No rules, however, I want them to get their hair professionally done. I don't care if they wear it up or half up. I will be buying them jewelery.

MindyL28 Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:43 AM

Re: Are you having rules....

Honetly, I hate being in weddings with rules. I guess it also depends on age but I am 28 and am in no mood to be identical to 5 other girls. Maybe if I was younger, I wouldn't care. I am in a wedding in May where we have some rules and it's annoying! For my wedding- I want everyone to look like themselves and be comfortable. Just my opinion.

HearzBellz Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:43 AM

Re: Are you having rules....

I bought the girls their jewlery as their gifts, so that is covered. I told the girls they cando whatever theywould kie, up or down, but noty half-up half-down, because that is what I am doing. I also bought them all little make-up kits for the day of the wedding with the colors I want them to wear. My girls are wearing black, so I got them colors that they like & that look good on them, and that will match the colors in the flowers they are carrying. (Each girl is carrying a different type of lily.)

I figure this way each girls is still an individual (they all have different dresses, too.) but they will still look the way I envisioned without placing actual 'rules.'

Betty Posted: Oct 31, 2003 09:46 AM

Re: Are you having rules....

My girls all wore the same dress and that's about it. They wore their hair however they wanted and wore whatever jewelry they wanted. I just wanted them to be there and stand up for me as my friends. I also wanted them to be comfortable and have a great time that day:)

I think 'rules' is a harsh word (IMO) It sounds very Bridezillaish

kdelace Posted: Nov 01, 2003 05:13 PM

Re: Are you having rules....

they are all wearing the same dress- but they picked it out. We all managed to get together and go shopping one day. So it was their choice.

I think i would only ask them to wear their hair up. They can wear whatever jewelry they want. I actually might get them jewelry as a gift but im still not sure.

As far as shoes, since they are wearing a bordeux color dress (deep red) they decided, not me, to get shoes and have them dyed the same color. silver or black will not look good.

Janice Posted: Nov 01, 2003 06:17 PM

Re: Are you having rules....

no I jst wanted them to look their best and feel their best, so whatever that entailed is what happended

sa070204 Posted: Nov 01, 2003 07:32 PM

Re: Are you having rules....

I am asking my girls to wear their hair up. Whether or not they choose to do it themselves or get it done is up to them. I am buying their jewelry so I am asking them to wear it on that day.

The rest of the stuff I coud care less about! My bridesmaids are all gorgeous and I am sure they will look spectacular.

But like someone said earlier....everyone is looking at the bride anyway!

2003OCT10 Posted: Nov 01, 2003 11:35 PM

Re: Are you having rules....

I told my girls not to worry abou the necklace or earrings, because that was my gift to them. I also asked them not to wear their hair with those funky twisty rows... Theres just something I dont like about them. They were all fine with that. I told them just to get their hair done comfortably... They looked great!!!!