Asking for an honest opinion but not really wanting one

So FH and I were at a bbq this weekend and we decided to ask his cousin to give her 'honest opinion' as a mom about our halloween wedding date. She said it was going to be really hard and her kids are upset and it is not the ideal situation. UM...I understand it does change typical halloween plans but there will be another one next year and I was aking her her honest opinion....but I did not expect her to actually be upset. What do you girls think about the halloween wedding? Other halloween brides get anything like this from their guests?

* my wedding is not a halloween theme, it's just happens to be on oct. 31st

Here is my honest opinion

I dont like a halloween wedding only becuase I dont like halloween. FH and I thought about doing it on Halloween but then we felt like we had to incorporate halloween into the theme (because all of our friends love halloween) and we didnt want to do that...

However, if I got invited to a wedding on halloween I would love it and I would def. be excited to go. I wouldnt be upset about it at all..

I dont see why people should be upset. Its jsut another day adn there is always next year. I dunno i dont have kids though so maybe that changes it.

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Posted by stargazerlily

So FH and I were at a bbq this weekend and we decided to ask his cousin to give her 'honest opinion' as a mom about our halloween wedding date. She said it was going to be really hard and her kids are upset and it is not the ideal situation. UM...I understand it does change typical halloween plans but there will be another one next year and I was aking her her honest opinion....but I did not expect her to actually be upset. What do you girls think about the halloween wedding? Other halloween brides get anything like this from their guests?

* my wedding is not a halloween theme, it's just happens to be on oct. 31st

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Your wedding is late enough that they can take the kids out during the day (which is what people do now anyway) and they can still go to your wedding without upsetting the kids.

How many kids are you having at your wedding?

That is ridiculous that she is kinda saying that trick or treating is more important than your wedding.

The kids will get over it... If people are making you feel guilty about it, why don't you buy little pails and put candy in it for the kids.

BUT that is beyond rude. How can you even compare Halloween plans to someone's wedding.

I don't think that parents will have a problem with it. I think they have a problem with their kids making a big deal out of it, which is understandable.

Is your church at 6:30 or cocktail at 6:30? Everyone is saying to take them trick or treating earlier.. which can work if the ceremony is at 6:30. If cocktail is at 6:30 then the ceremony is earlier then it might get tricky.

If the children aren't in the wedding and aren't coming to the wedding then i'd suggest having one of their friends take them trick or treating with their kids.

If the kids are in the wedding maybe you can give them a little bag filled with 'treats' at the reception so they aren't totally missing out.

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Posted by nraboni

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Posted by stargazerlily

So FH and I were at a bbq this weekend and we decided to ask his cousin to give her 'honest opinion' as a mom about our halloween wedding date. She said it was going to be really hard and her kids are upset and it is not the ideal situation. UM...I understand it does change typical halloween plans but there will be another one next year and I was aking her her honest opinion....but I did not expect her to actually be upset. What do you girls think about the halloween wedding? Other halloween brides get anything like this from their guests?

* my wedding is not a halloween theme, it's just happens to be on oct. 31st

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Your wedding is late enough that they can take the kids out during the day (which is what people do now anyway) and they can still go to your wedding without upsetting the kids.

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ITA!

when is the wedding/reception??

does it totally ruin halloween for the kids that they can't go trick-or-treating for a little bit?

if they're in the wedding i'm sure they can go out in their tux/dress for an hour as a princess or 007 or something!! lol


maybe you can do something small for the kids?? like a big bag of candy as their favors and the adults getting something more appropriate..

good luck with everything!

FH and I were debating this too when we first got engaged, b/c a lot of RH's still had that date open for 2009. We decided against it though.

Not that we were going to have a lot of kids at the wedding, but we have a lot of guests that have kids and I'm sure they would've wanted to spend the night with them. Also, my FG's birthday is on Halloween and I didn't want her to have to spend her birthday at my wedding. My other reason (me just being paranoid) is that I don't want to chance anyone coming in a stupid costume.....we have some dumba$$ friends that I could see doing it as a joke, but it's just not for me.

Those were OUR reasons for not doing a Halloween wedding, but if you're into it, then go ahead. I'd just make sure to give plenty of notice as you would on any other holiday.

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Posted by Tracey1979

can't they trick or treat earlier in the day, before your wedding???

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ITA!!!!! who takes kids out at NIGHT anyway anymore??

i think a wedding on halloween is just fine. its not like its a major holiday, the younger kids enjoy it but they are usually out early anyway. I wouldnt worry about it!!!

If you are asking for an honest (and respectful) opinion.

The fact is it *IS* inconvenient for a wedding to be on Halloween. These kids don't care about ANYTHING except trick or treating. Parents also want to go out with the kids, have fun and supervise. So yes, its not ideal.

I think it goes along the same line of having a wedding on Memorial day, 4th of July, and Labor day weekend. People are not excited about having to give up a holiday weekend/plans to go to a wedding.

Last year my cousins bar mitzvah was on Nov 1. The kids were not happy that they had to go to services instead of going trick or treating. They got over it.

And so I say to you don't worry about it! Its your one day in your lifetime. You didn't do this to inconvenience them. If they don't like it TOO BAD!!

My nice is being a fist class Bee-ATCH about my wedding. Her birthday is that Sunday and so my wedding is ruining her birthday 'weekend'. Guess what? She can get over it. Its only about her.

So I say too bad to them all. This is just a blip on the radar and not even worthy of your worry don't waste YOUR precious time on this, and concentrate on having a GREAT day.

I would have LOVED to get married on Halloween but I was afraid it would be too cold for an outdoor ceremony on the beach like we wanted which is the only reason we did not. If she's worried about her kids, either hire a sitter to take them trick or treating and then maybe bring them a little later. OR I know it sounds silly but we've had trick or treaters in my mom's neighborhood a day early or late because of other obligations and I think it's cute.

Do what you want it's YOUR wedding. I mean my mom is still mad that my wedding is when my cousins are still in school and they need to drive or fly from Florida and miss a day or two of classes but they take year round classes usually and I'm not waiting til they graduate.

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Posted by Juhgail

If you are asking for an honest (and respectful) opinion.

The fact is it *IS* inconvenient for a wedding to be on Halloween. These kids don't care about ANYTHING except trick or treating. Parents also want to go out with the kids, have fun and supervise. So yes, its not ideal.

I think it goes along the same line of having a wedding on Memorial day, 4th of July, and Labor day weekend. People are not excited about having to give up a holiday weekend/plans to go to a wedding.

Last year my cousins bar mitzvah was on Nov 1. The kids were not happy that they had to go to services instead of going trick or treating. They got over it.

And so I say to you don't worry about it! Its your one day in your lifetime. You didn't do this to inconvenience them. If they don't like it TOO BAD!!

My nice is being a fist class Bee-ATCH about my wedding. Her birthday is that Sunday and so my wedding is ruining her birthday 'weekend'. Guess what? She can get over it. Its only about her.

So I say too bad to them all. This is just a blip on the radar and not even worthy of your worry don't waste YOUR precious time on this, and concentrate on having a GREAT day.

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Ha...similar situation with my Future sister-in-law. Our e-party was supposed to be over a month ago and she and FBIL had conflicts with every single Saturday. The one Saturday they didn't they threw a birthday party on for their daughter and we rescheduled our engagement party five times because it was important to us to have them there. We called and asked before any additional invites went out for this coming Saturday is this date ok with EVERYONE and they said yes. Later I hear that it was mentioned to FH that it's her birthday that day and we should have a small cake for her at our party. I LOVE my future in laws but we have rescheduled time and time again and now my e-party and shower and wedding will be very close together and this is 3 hours in the afternoon and there will be one cake and we can celebrate her birthday before and after.

I'll be blunt (and probably become very unpopular) and say that I personally don't like it when people schedule weddings within a day or two of a holiday or especially ON holidays. You can get married on ANY day, that holiday only falls on THAT day. Mother's Day, Father's Day, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Halloween, and especially Valentine's Day - you've now made that holiday about you. People have their regular plans or they have preparations to make or they have a lot of other financial expenses associated with the holiday, it's harder to find babysitting and flights can be more expensive. Especially if they have to take extra time to travel out of town for a wedding, it is an inconvenience - there's just no way around it.

When you get married on a holiday, some people won't care and some people will be inconvenienced (but if they have any class they won't say anything). To the guests that have that much of a problem with it, they don't have to come. But holiday brides should realize that inconveniencing SOME of their guests is a consequence of their decision and make their peace with it or get married the week after.

One thing I learned in this process is that you can't please everyone. Halloween day was open when we booked our venue, but did not book it. We did not want to feel like we need to incorporate it into our theme. Also, mentioned in the above post I was afraid that someone (few people in particular) might show up in a costume. My wedding is the same day as my BM's b-day. She was a good sport about it she just said at least I will remember the date and she thanked my fiance and I for throwing her a big party on her b-day

halloween's on a saturday so why are they complaing? is your wedding an ALL DAy event?

my bro is getting married on the same day during the day time so ppl can take their kids trick or treating afterwards (apparently the entire BP is actually going trick or treating together after the wedding lol- oh and i'm in the BP-cr@p)

if you're getting married at night then they can take the kids before.

if you're inviting kids to the wedding definitely have something there for them that is fun and incorporates trick or treating or getting candy. (what- i dont know-im not too creative, sorry).