Asking for an honest opinion but not really wanting one

You won't make everyone happy so just do the best you can!

If it's truly inconvenient for them, they shouldn't come.

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Posted by pa56

You won't make everyone happy so just do the best you can!

If it's truly inconvenient for them, they shouldn't come.

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ITA! i can't believe someone would have the unmitigated nerve to complain their kids can't trick or treat because of your wedding. If it's that big a deal, they shouldn't come.

Okay, I assumed she said something because you had invited kids( I wanted to say,don't invite the kids then, but that subject causes huge drama on this site!)
Anyway, I can't understand why she thinks it is wrong to have a wedding on Halloween, you are right, it's not like you are holding it on Christmas! Some people just need to have their priorities in order, but again, it's not something you say to a bride!

Just out of curiosity, how old are the kids, and how can they be upset so far in advance ?

You won't be able to please everyone so don't get upset by this.
We were married on the 8th birthday of one of DH's second cousins. Our attitude was, we get married once, your child has another b-day, and 8 is not that big of a deal. If you don't want to come, fine with us. The cousin came, but left the reception early ( ) to spend time with her son. Mind you, our reception was over at 5:30 because we had a daytime wedding.

Basically, if the cousin finds that Halloween is more important than your wedding, so be it.

I can see why people with kids could get upset about your wedding on that date... halloween is huge for kids.. and i mean, how many times as parents will we get to take our kids around before they grow out of it or go egg bombing with their friends instead lol just a different side of the story to think about

You booked a halloween wedding because you felt that it was best for you and DH. It pretty much comes down to that. Personally, I would be a little annoyed only because my friends usually throw awsome parties, and I would hate to have to choose between the 2. I do not have kids, but if I did i would also be annoyed b.c i would probably want to spend the night with them. Now, just because I would be 'annoyed' it does not mean that I would not make arrangements to attend someones wedding. People always have something to say. People complain about Sunday night weddings yet they still attend and have a good time. Take it with a grain of salt and be flattered that even though it may be an inconvenience for certain people, they will go that extra mile for you.

Sometimes as brides we get a little over sensitive, and we forget that not everything revolves around our wedding. Best of luck with rest of your planning

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Posted by Tracey1979

can't they trick or treat earlier in the day, before your wedding???

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I agree! Dont worry about it

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Posted by MrsList

I'll be blunt (and probably become very unpopular) and say that I personally don't like it when people schedule weddings within a day or two of a holiday or especially ON holidays. You can get married on ANY day, that holiday only falls on THAT day. Mother's Day, Father's Day, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Halloween, and especially Valentine's Day - you've now made that holiday about you. People have their regular plans or they have preparations to make or they have a lot of other financial expenses associated with the holiday, it's harder to find babysitting and flights can be more expensive. Especially if they have to take extra time to travel out of town for a wedding, it is an inconvenience - there's just no way around it.

When you get married on a holiday, some people won't care and some people will be inconvenienced (but if they have any class they won't say anything). To the guests that have that much of a problem with it, they don't have to come. But holiday brides should realize that inconveniencing SOME of their guests is a consequence of their decision and make their peace with it or get married the week after.

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I understand this point of view but as someone paying for her own wedding (like some other girls on the boards), I could not afford a saturday night wedding and people whine about sunday night weddings all the time because they have work the next day...so in picking a holiday weekend FH and I were trying to make things easier for our guests not harder. I also think there is a diference between making your wedding on or near a major holiday and making it on a hallmark holiday like Halloween or Valentines day... IThe bottom line is that whatever day or date you pick someone will be inconvenieced so you should just do what you want

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Posted by jussie82

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Posted by MrsList

I'll be blunt (and probably become very unpopular) and say that I personally don't like it when people schedule weddings within a day or two of a holiday or especially ON holidays. You can get married on ANY day, that holiday only falls on THAT day. Mother's Day, Father's Day, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Halloween, and especially Valentine's Day - you've now made that holiday about you. People have their regular plans or they have preparations to make or they have a lot of other financial expenses associated with the holiday, it's harder to find babysitting and flights can be more expensive. Especially if they have to take extra time to travel out of town for a wedding, it is an inconvenience - there's just no way around it.

When you get married on a holiday, some people won't care and some people will be inconvenienced (but if they have any class they won't say anything). To the guests that have that much of a problem with it, they don't have to come. But holiday brides should realize that inconveniencing SOME of their guests is a consequence of their decision and make their peace with it or get married the week after.

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I understand this point of view but as someone paying for her own wedding (like some other girls on the boards), I could not afford a saturday night wedding and people whine about sunday night weddings all the time because they have work the next day...so in picking a holiday weekend FH and I were trying to make things easier for our guests not harder. I also think there is a diference between making your wedding on or near a major holiday and making it on a hallmark holiday like Halloween or Valentines day... IThe bottom line is that whatever day or date you pick someone will be inconvenieced so you should just do what you want

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I totally agree with you. Pick whatever day you want and is best for you but then don't look for approval and then be upset when your guests admit to being inconvenienced or annoyed. If someone is rude and says something without prompting, then that person is just rude. But if you go and ask for comment about your date and then get upset when you don't hear what you want to hear, I don't think that's right.

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

I can see why people with kids could get upset about your wedding on that date... halloween is huge for kids.. and i mean, how many times as parents will we get to take our kids around before they grow out of it or go egg bombing with their friends instead lol just a different side of the story to think about

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ITA.

you did ask for an honest opinion, and that's what she gave you. remember, you can't please everyone, you can only do what is best for you and your FH. if you tried to please everyone, you'd never have wedding! take what she said in stride. in your post, you didn't say she said she would not attend, or that she found trick or treating more important than your wedding. she said it was not an ideal situation (per the OP). i also think it depends on the age of the kids. if they kids are young, parents also get excited to share halloween with them. she can take them trick or treating during the day, and come to the wedding in the evening. just remember, all she did was give her honest opinion. don't let it ruin your day, don't even think about it. just continue to enjoy your planning, and your big day

I am sure people won't like me for this but I am not a fan of holiday weddings or weddings on holiday weekends. I think they are more trouble for guests and gives them a lot more to consider (ie travel expenses, babysitters, etc.). As we have all said 100 times... Yes, it is your day.... but what fun is your day going to be if people close to you either can't be there or won't enjoy themselves due to various circumstances. I would certainly pass up having my wedding on a holiday in order to have more family members there celebrating with me.

Also you did ask her what her opinion was. She gave it to you. If she had just come out and said it out of the blue I think that would have been a lot more hurtful.

Honestly who cares what people think!!! It's your wedding if Oct 31st is the date that works for you and your DH that is all that matters. If taking the kids trick or treating is so important to some people then they have the option to decline the invite.
Don't stress yourself over this one. I am sure the people giving you a headache about this aren't contributing a dime to your wedding.

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Posted by stargazerlily

So FH and I were at a bbq this weekend and we decided to ask his cousin to give her 'honest opinion' as a mom about our halloween wedding date. She said it was going to be really hard and her kids are upset and it is not the ideal situation. UM...I understand it does change typical halloween plans but there will be another one next year and I was aking her her honest opinion....but I did not expect her to actually be upset. What do you girls think about the halloween wedding? Other halloween brides get anything like this from their guests?

* my wedding is not a halloween theme, it's just happens to be on oct. 31st

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what time is the wedding? couldnt they go trick or treating before or after? i think October 31st is just a good day as any!!!! they will prob have more fun at your wedding anyways!! you should do a candy buffet to give everyone their candy fix for the day!!

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Posted by Tracey1979

can't they trick or treat earlier in the day, before your wedding???

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ITA! I don't see why they can't do trick or treating or other halloween stuff earlier in the day?

If you and your DH are Happy with the day and date you picked. Then so be it!! Its your choice!! WHoever doesnt like it, can say no...Dont stress about it. I got married on the 4th of July and every single close relative came. Anyone I 'Inconveineced' must of declined..We usually see everyone on the 4th anyway. Plus I provided fireworks!! And gave out sparklers at the end. We had a blast and it was the greatest night of our lives. We will get to celebrate with my freinds and family every year!! No matter what day you choose there will always be someone to complain, whether its a holiday or not!

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

I can see why people with kids could get upset about your wedding on that date... halloween is huge for kids.. and i mean, how many times as parents will we get to take our kids around before they grow out of it or go egg bombing with their friends instead lol just a different side of the story to think about

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yea, in my fam halloween was always huge. i always went trick or treating with all my aunts and my parents, i lovedd it. but i know every fam is different.

eta: since halloween is in a sat this year, they can just do trick or treating early. i wouldnt stress about it