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been very upset lately...long

Original post by kimnsteve

ok girls i have been trying to keep this in for awhile to see if things would get better but they have only gotten worse....for the past month my FH and I have done nothing but fought ...and not just like little stupid fights ...i cant figure what they heck i am doing wrong ....i know has a lot to do with the fact that he had OCD and if something is out of place in our house he flips...and i am totally the opposite...we havent spent any time together nor have we gone put i over a month...he totally blew off our 7 year anniversary last month ( he told me he was taking me out and then that night he told me he was too tired and then had his neice come over so i could babysit her!)
i am thinking about moving back home ...but i know if i do that it had to be final...cant go back...i cannot have him keep coming in and out of my life whenever he feels like being nice to me
he hasnt said to words about the wedding ...all he does is complain about me ...that i do nothing for him...helllooo i work full time in manhattan ...dont get home til 7pm and then go to the gym afetr that ...where does making dinner every night fit itn?????
i just dont know ...i was hoping that some of u girls had some advice
sorry this is so long i am just so upset i have spent the entire weekend in my house crying ...i am just so sick to my stomach about all of this

TIA
JeanineP2B Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

Good luck Kim!
kimnsteve Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

aww thanks girls
tdebe Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

Good luck honey
AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

Good luck tonight Kim!!
Chrissywish Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

Good Luck!!!!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!!

kimnsteve Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

Nothing ...not even a response back!!!
we'll see what happens over the next couple of days
tdebe Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

Does he check his email very often, because maybe he didn't get it yet. He could also be trying to find the right words in response.

kimnsteve Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

he was on the computer this morning when i got up ( he works nights) maybe he was tired and ill get something later ...we'll see

AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

Don't give up Kim!!!
Dom n Nic Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

dh and i fought everyday that we were engaged
and like you said over the most stupidest thing ever.. it's nerves stress it can really really get to you ...
heatherandrichie Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

Could you text message him?

kimnsteve Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

i tried that yesterday...it just makes me so upset that he's not even trying to make it better ...like why am i the one always trying to get in touch with him?

Soon2BMrsD Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

i would give him till tonight. since u know he was online this morning you know he saw your email. I dont care what it was that you were fighting about you are taking the initiative to work things out and talk but he cant even give you an email back?... thats not fair. and you dont deserve that at all! if nothing has been said by tonight i would def sit him down and talk face to face and dont leave untill you get some answers or soemthing out of him!... good luck !

AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

Posted by kimnsteve

i tried that yesterday...it just makes me so upset that he's not even trying to make it better ...like why am i the one always trying to get in touch with him?


Has he come right out and said the he doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore?
Guys think we're confusing??!!! I can't stand when they do stuff like this! After so many years you DESERVE answers!!!!! I'm starting to get angry for you Kim!
Belongs2DanBuckley Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

ok, there has to be a reason for all of this other than the fact that he has OCD...something is wrong...maybe he has cold feet, maybe he feels overwhelmed by everything. Are you enrolled in Pre Cana yet...if not i would def enroll asap!! You guys should start talking to a priest/ minister/ rabbi/ spiritual guide/ whoever.

If he will not talk to you about it directly, maybe it will come out with a 3rd party present. You need to find the root of the problem. Maybe if you invite him over one night, cook a nice meal, and sit down with a glass of wine and discuss whatever issues there are and bring them to the table then you might be able to fix the situation

You guys are going through a rough patch and ultimately it will make you a stronger couple, but you need to figure out how you can fix problem. This is your MARRIAGE!!! its a trial period...you need to figure out how to fight so you can figure out how to make up...HTH

Good luck!
kimnsteve Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

i think he just wants me to be like him mom and i refuse to wait on him hand and foot ...its not gonna happen....
anways we live together so i dont think inviting him over for dinner is gonna work ..lol...i made dinner last night and he wouldnt eat it
we arent having a church wedding so we wouldnt have pre cana ...thanks for the advice though
i will eventually talk to him
Belongs2DanBuckley Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

MAybe that's it....that you guys are too wrapped up in each others business already. That really ***** though. Maybe he jsut needs some space. how far away is home. Maybe not necessarily move back, but just stay there for the weekend..give you guys some time to gather yourselves. I dunno. I've been through the mill w/ my FH, we've come out on top. It wasn't always easy or painless but its like another job...its work. Sometimes u don't always gt the fairy tale but you can get damn close....good luck hun...i'm rooting for you guys!
kimnsteve Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

aww thanks ...im trying ...my parents only live about 10 minutes away but i am hoping it doesnt have to go that far...this is by far the worst fight we have ever had ...i'll update u gals later if we talk

Collweenie21 Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

I don't really know your story, but have you guys recently moved in together? My fiance and I moved in together about 2 years ago, and the first 6 months were HELL!!!!! He expected me to be like his mother too, while he was going out and getting wasted. It took a lot of patience, but I got him back in line. Good luck to you. After so many years you don't deserve to be ignored. Sometimes, people need a taste of their own medicine.

kimnsteve Posted:

Re: been very upset lately...long

you know what ...maybe thats what the problem is ....we have beenliving together for 2 years and he always worked nights ...now he is mostly on days with the exception of last night and a couple days in the past month....maybe we are just not used to being in the house at the same time ...geez i hope thats it !

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