Have you ever gone to a wedding with a cash bar? Where was it?
I live in California and I was just discussing wedding plans with my co-workers.
Apparently having an open bar is not expected.
I heard a couple of different options:
Cash bar the whole wedding Each person gets two drinks tickets then it is cash bar Open bar for only 2 hours then a cash bar
Anyway, I just wanted to hear any other options you may have experienced.
ETA: I am having a full open bar at my wedding. I am just curious to see if people actually did go to a wedding with a cash bar.
tjs
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yes i have been to cash bar, my original plan was to provide beer wine and soda anything else they would have to have cash bar. .....i now switched locations so i am having open bar, but yes have heard of it and been to a wedding with it!
EJSD2006
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I'm @ Jericho Terrace and we're having open bar. I went to a wedding once @ Chateau Briand and it was a cash bar. We were actually a bit disappointed that night....
kam29
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I've been to a wedding that was open bar for an hour then a cash bar.
I think it's more common outside of NY and that all NYers would be shocked (as I was) when you have to pay for your refreshments. The locals at the wedding didn't even blink at it.
I had a hard time dealing with the fact that along with our $350 gift, we had to pay our tab.
kara10152006
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We went to a wedding in Vegas (for people who really live there, not just drive-thru wedding tourists) in May with a cash bar. There was unlimited soda, wine and beer but none of the liquor was covered. All of the New York guests complained as though they had traveled so far for nothing (who knew alcohol meant so much?). I couldn't believe how outraged and outspoken the disappointed guests were. Some went so far as to make comments to the parents of the bride and groom and even the bride and groom themselves. All the negativity really brought the energy level down.
wendyz06
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I have never been to a cash bar wedding. I personally usually never think of bringing money. If you do this maybe you can let people know ahead of time by word of month or something.
stephanielyse
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Jen2999
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Cash bars are very common outside of NY along with much smaller and less extravagent affairs.
carlsbride
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I went to college in the South and the weddings I attended for my friends down there were mostly are either wine & beer only, open bar for the cocktail hour only, and I went to one that gave tickets-then after you had to pay.
I guess it is a regional thing. I would not be offended if I attended a wedding without an open bar. Liquor is expensive, why should the host assume that people need to drink to have a good time. Not saying I wouldn't be disappointed if there was not an open bar, but I would never complain to the hosts, that is rude.
NYCtoSEA
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I went to a wedding in seattle that had a csh bar. No one knew ahead of time and no one had money on them! AND, to top it off, the wedding was on a boat, so we couldn't run out to an ATM. Luckliy, one person brought a baby bottle full of whiskey. Apparently the bride and groom (the groom was a fellow graduate student of mine at the time) didn't really drink and felt that they shouldn't have to pay for other people's drinks (Bride's dad paid for the affiar, so whatever.) They were also worried that people would get drunk on the boat.
Anyway, it was wierd to the East Coasters.
hocus
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I've been to some events -- including a wedding with a cash bar. Did I like it? No. Do I understand why some people do it? Of course.
Like other things (money dances, gift vs. cash) acceptance of this varies. If your mother will never forgive you for not having an open bar than I don't think you should do it.
johnsae
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I don't think a cash bar is ever acceptable - I think it's kind of rude....cut costs in other areas to make it happen.
JMO
stephanief
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Posted by johnsae
I don't think a cash bar is ever acceptable - I think it's kind of rude....cut costs in other areas to make it happen.
JMO
I don't necessarily think it is rude. It is not common in NY but in other places, it is acceptable.
natinwpb
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We're providing beer,wine, champagne, and non-alcoholic drinks since we're having a daytime wedding. If people want hard liquor then they'll have to pay for it themselves.
SweetCin704
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I once went to a wedding in PA where it was a cash bar (I was a kid though)...
I had a friend go to a cash bar IN NY & her DH took $ out of the gift card to pay for the bar....
sarahthegreat
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i personally would not have one at my wedding....but i know outside of long island, its more common. would i care if there was a cash bar? no, i know how expensive liquor can be. but to complain to the bride and grooms parents, that is rude
jeanla4c
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Posted by Jen2999
Cash bars are very common outside of NY along with much smaller and less extravagent affairs.
Was just about to say something similar!
JennJay
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Posted by alnem
I'm @ Jericho Terrace and we're having open bar. I went to a wedding once @ Chateau Briand and it was a cash bar. We were actually a bit disappointed that night....
I would definately be A LOT disappointed, especially when most people give such a generous gift.
amyg1033
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I cannot think of anything more tacky than a cash bar and can't believe that it would ever be an option anywhere. The way I see it, when you throw a party at your house, do you tell your guests to cough off money when you serve them drinks or food? the last time i made people do that I was in college and we all put in money for a beer run. When you throw a party as big as a wedding and you are expecting your guests to not only show up dressed their best, but to also bring a gift, the least the host can do is offer an open bar. It's not that alcohol is so important, it's just a really nice gesture for the bride and groom to give their guests, which has come to be expected. I know if I went to a wedding with a cash bar, it wouldn't matter if the people were millionaires getting married at the Waldorf, I would still think they're cheap ..... Plus, we all put so much time, energy, and money into planning our wedding and it would totally suck for our guests to be disappointed because they had to pay for drinks. I feel so bad for that Vegas couple who actually had their guests say something to their parents. People can be so insensitive sometimes. I would be pissed if I had to pay for drinks, but I would never in a million years open my mouth up about it, except maybe to my fh!
roxyspark
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Posted by johnsae
I don't think a cash bar is ever acceptable - I think it's kind of rude....cut costs in other areas to make it happen.
JMO
I totally agree. I couldn't believe that people thought it was acceptable to have a cash bar, but I was told that most wedding have a limited liquor option and most people don't expect an open bar. I guess people on the east coast just have a different standard of throwing a party. I assumed that most places in NY wouldn't even let you have a cash bar.
